Couch 195: The Galaxy couch

Emailed Dr. T about his evasive/suspicious response to my mentioning the county he's from. His reply:
"LT,
I'm glad you emailed, and I apologize for my reaction. It took me a few moments to figure out where that information came from, and you're 100% correct that it's on my website. I'm sorry if my reaction seemed accusatory while I was sifting through my memory."
Vindicated! And hooray for T's who can actually admit when they're wrong (I'm looking at you, ex-MC...)

I tried the anti-anxiety last night (hydroxyzine, which is apparently generic Atarax). I slept for 9.5 hours straight, which hasn't happened in about a year, and I feel AMAZING today. It helps that Baby Manatee, who is rapidly approaching five months old, decided to sleep for eleven hours straight last night. (My wife was on duty on case the meds knocked me out too much, but all three of us slept all night.)

Hi Couchies, hope everyone is okay today. I had T last night. No major breakthroughs but an okay session I think. I got to show her pictures of my kitties. HUGS Kit

I agree on both - I have had the small zojirushi machine for about 15 yrs and although I don't use it much anymore because I am not eating bread much of any sort-[warning - gratuitous talk about my person] we used it at least once a week if not more for several years when person was sick as sometimes bread was all she wanted. (And then she would segue into korean egg bread which just required a batter, and then baked custard for when the chemo screwed up her mouth - we went in cycles - a lot of my cooking for about 8 or so years was based mostly on what she could/would eat - except the meat smoking which was my stress outlet)

I think King Arthur is a fun site in general - the forums are quite interesting (if sometimes a tad overly serious about bread/baking)

A zojirushi is what I chose. Now I’m cleaning the kitchen to make it Worthy of such a machine.

So the King Arthur fora are as serious about bread as we are about psychotherapy?

That thing looks like it means business. I have one of their rice cookers. Which I've used maybe 3 times. Hopefully you will get lots more use out of your bread machine.

I went to a coffee shop for my interview today. You have to love the rich tiny towns in my state with their little neighborhood coffee shops and 5 dollar cups of coffee. Anyway. This interview didn’t go as well as my interview on Saturday did. I felt like there was a disconnect between their questions and my answers. Can’t win them all. We will see what happens and keep plugging along. I’m off work today and my house needs to be cleaned but I want a nice long nap. We can’t waste a sunny beautiful day on a nap though. So I’ll take a walk, go to the store then clean.

So, I am having a hard time reconciling both being angry at t and recognizing that some of my anger may actually do with past trauma more then t’s action.

Which is not to say that I let t off of the hook, he let me down in the last couple of weeks.. and he had recognized and apologized more than once about his mistakes. However, even with the apology I just can’t let it go. I still want to hold on to the anger.. and I am not sure what more I need from t to let go of the anger. However, I can see that I may hold on to anger against people who wrong me because I feel like I can’t really get mad at the one person who really hurt me when I was young. (I only remember 1st name, not sure I would recognize him if I saw him). So while I don’t want t to get away with failing me.. I do see that this is a pattern in my life.

This stuff is hard..

May your bread maker live long and prosper.

I don't think you have a set deadline for anger and there is no "should". with it at all. A LOTR quote I liked "How do you pick up the threads of an old life. How do you go on, when in your heart you begin to understand... there is no going back? There are some things that time cannot mend. Some hurts that go too deep.”

Somethings you won't "get over" and I think you only really do go through them. A good T will be able to accept all feelings not the positive ones. Tell him your angry and don't hold back, keep bringing it up s many times as you need to.

I'm trying to not be irritable today. I didn't get enough sleep, sadly. HUGS Kit

The right job will find you and it will be just right. Kinda like Goldilocks and the porridge.

Be irritable. Trying to not may tire you out more.

I just give everyone (my sister and mother) a warning though.

You're nearly there! Have you got plans for your break?

Did you report your ex-T? His behavior is beyond ridiculous and I'm sorry he was horrible enough to ever say something like that, especially when you were so vulnerable.

I would not only have to clean my kitchen but totally remodel it to make it worthy of that bread maker. Send some bread my way.

Yay for everyone getting the sleep they need!

Me too please.

It's so clear you loved your person a lot and I bet she felt it.

I think you needed that time to get to where you are now. T becoming ex T brought it all up to the surface. I think sometimes we minimize our own feelings and box them up on a shelf just to get through the day, and leave that box unopened until something knocks the whole bookshelf down.

It really DOES make cake and jam!

"You like me! You really like me!"

Eta - mazel tov on your new arrival! A real prince!

Work meeting in about 20 minutes. About the possible merger. Most people don't like change, myself included, so this should be fun. (Not).

I was only 18 at the time and was brought up to believe doctors etc know best and so I tried to do what said and I was soo depressed at the time. I tried to tell present ex t about it but I only got to the part where G the first T invited me to his house for coffee multiple times and I felt present exT got so uncomfortable I didnot tell him about the touching or anything else.

Wow that's a great analogy
Thanks

I remember when we were really poor my ex thought we should bake our own bread but I worked part time was depressed he was depressed and we had 2 young children and we had just moved to nometown because his mum said she would help as I had no family. So he buys this ancient bread maker for some ridiculous price from his dad who probably just found it somewhere it had no manual and didn't work properly. I was so annoyed we could have bought nearly a weeks worth of groceries. He got annoyed because I couldn't work out how much of each ingredient to use because yeast comes prepacked soetimes and that is all I could find