Couch 195: The Galaxy couch

Sorry after that I would buy a top range bread maker anyway.

Theres GF blueberry cheerios?!

So the work meeting wasn't too bad...though I am still worried about my job...but it was hard too because the owner was crying. Good tears, but still crying. He's in his 80's and this is his life's work so it's hard to let go. The company that wants to merge with us sounds good, I just hope they keep me on. Of course I haven't seen benefit packages or anything like that so.....

Wondering if I overshared yesterday with my T. I hate that feeling. Where I'm like, I should have said less. I felt like I was talking a lot. On the positive side, I think I made good eye contact. I didn't feel like I was looking at everything but her. I was disappointed though...no black flowers in her hair. She just had it neatly pulled up. The rest of her was sort of a hot mess but her hair looked great!

Oh, and payroll processing day! My favorite!

It felt strange showing my T pictures of my kitties. It felt like, too personal or something. At the time I was okay with it, in fact, I think I'm the one that was like, do you want to see pictures? (because ya'll know how much I like to show off my beauties) but now I feel like, even that was too personal. I know talking to your T is supposed to be personal, but that's something I would have done with former T. I didn't picture doing it with current T. At least not as of yet.

Former T wouldn't have sat there and googled Religious holidays and festivals for me either. We would have talked about why it is important for me to have a day of significance to look forward to in regards to no SH. I keep comparing former T and current T and that's really not fair to either one. I just don't know how to stop. Ugh. In my head (and heart) no one will be as good as former T.

And Lucky Charms. And Fruity Pebbles. And Chex.

The cheerios taste no different from before to me.

I got an email today from a Spiritual Director that I contacted before Easter. I'm trying to decide whether or not to give her my phone number to proceed with the process. I'm a scared-y cat. But so much for punctuality. Not sure that's a good sign. I told her in my initial email that I SH and have difficulties with depression and stuff, so I wanted to be upfront about that. Maybe all this sharing about SH yesterday in session with T is part of what feels like too much was shared. IDK.

Sorry everyone, I'm all over the place, and I'm spamming the couch! I'll chill now and curl up in a corner by the window on the couch!

We have an election coming up and politicians are preying on uneducated people. Someone's headlines was We are still in debt! I am not in anyway economically educated but I do know that all countries have a debt and I think it's only unusually small and wealthy countries like Monaco that don't. I know politicians are into scaremongering but this is just ridiculous.

I went ahead and emailed back the Spiritual Director with my phone number. Can't hurt to see what it's about....

Cheerios are made from oats, but I know there can be cross-contamination issues at times with oats. So I'm guessing they are the same, but just with certified gluten-free oats. I didn't know there were blueberry Cheerios at all though, so may have to try those...

Cheerios makes sense. Oats woulda been wheatless anyway. And Chex. I never ate those other chazerai.

Eta - i miss my t! i dont have anybody else to speak yiddish with!

Eta2 - i googled it - a yiddish speaking group meets here once a month. I also bought a book.

Thats what surprised the gluten outa me!

Ooooh, you'll be the beast-master! The Honey app shows a $23.80 discount, so I hope you got that, too!

The KA forums are a hoot--but very informative, too.

The people who I interviewed with on Saturday said they would call today but didn’t. Maybe tomorrow.

Yesterday before the confusion about the goodbye text I was hassling my ext bout my notes. I asked again today then realised I didn't really want my notes I wanted something physical to remember him so I skied for that instead, but it's probably a boundary issue though I have never asked for anything like this before ever, because pdocs and psychs hve always given me clinical summary or some of my notes.

I am getting a summary of my notes and a letter. Not quite what I wanted but close. I can stop hassling him now

I am watching Grosse Pointe Blank. I really like this movie.
They just had the scene where Alan Arkin (playing therapist) was trying to get rid of John Cusak. The office is set up so that the therapist's is a lot higher than the client's chair.

I watched this movie after I was first diagnosed with schizophrenia and was doped up to the eyeballs. I don't really remember it. I have recently started rewatching movies and stuff from that period and realise just how badly those drugs ****ed you up. The movies are far more entertaining than I remember and I can only blame my poor quality of life between 18 and 23 to these drugs when I was rediagnosed a depressed things got a little better. Also dissociation takes a lot of your life away. I realise that as I now disssociate less now.

I bet it takes her hours of work to look like that!

I just cant leave well enough alone. I am taking a little break from pc and obsessing over my T as I feel this isn't helping with things at the moment. I will be back.

In the words of the great Shrek. "Better out than in!"

Hey couchies, really rough day here. The realities of my son leaving are hitting and all the grief I avoided by fighting to keep him in the house is hitting full force. On top of that we got back a bad health diagnosis on one of our dogs and it is likely her brother has the same thing. We do not have the money for the best treatment on one yet alone two and even then the prognosis is low. There is also a lot of stigma in our area if you can’t spend thousands of thousands of dollars on your pet then you don’t deserve them... so if people find out my reputation in the animal world around here is shot... because I can’t afford $5,000/dog when it would still only give them a 40%-60% chance. We ARE doing another treatment method but it is politically incorrect around here as it is no longer considered the “best” treatment. And... with my son leaving I am loosing some financial support which means I may loose Awesome T.... have to work today and don’t want to but obviously blowing the job now would not be smart.