Couch 195: The Galaxy couch

I parented by my absolute determination not to be like my own parents. When my oldest was coming up the internet was a brand new thing and I didn't research much of anything. Plus I was in my early 20's so I thought I knew everything while being clueless at the same time. When my youngest came along I read about attachment parenting, it seemed to match up with what I was already doing.

I agree with a previous post, too. We were not affluent enough to get many choices.

My oldest got effed up and I'm still waiting on my youngest to show signs.

I think the main thing is, we (couchies) raised our kids with love, we made mistakes and we didn't try to hide them from our kids, and we allowed our kids to have a dialogue with us that we may not have had with our own parents.

Happy Mother's Day couch moms. Some of you may not know how much I look upon your knowledge and advice as if you are all a mom to me.

What I bolded - that is absolutely what I tried to do.

Plus none of you have Aunt Becky Syndrome!

Oh! No I forgot to tell you guys I'm sorry, it came back good enough altho I do have to go back in a year for another CT scan because it turned out to be a mucocele neoplasm or some such sounding word. She was not overly concerned.

Eta: or maybe it was a neoplasm tgat caused the mucocele, I don't remember. Maybe our resident couch docs know what I'm referring to.

Maybe you did tell us that and i forgot, that sounds familiar that you have to return for a ct scan in a year. But SUPER glad to hear that.

H went out and got Panda Express for us, and I didn't even ask. Mmm chow mein. Feeling blessed.

I think some people adopt a parenting philosophy because it reduces anxiety and stress. Parents spend a lot more time, energy, and money on their children now compared to previous generations. There are all these activities and opportunities and organic meals and test prep and traveling sports teams and on and on. When we were planning to become parents, my wife and I looked into several different parenting philosophies before we found one that resonated with us (respectful parenting inspired by Janet Lansbury/RIE, although not taken to that extreme).

I see the parenting philosophy more as an expression of our values and as a way to know what is important and what isn't. We are big on being very present with our kid at key moments (baby caretaking tasks, mostly) and then letting her do her own thing by playing in a safe place much of the rest of the time. So certain ways of communicating with her and being responsive to her needs are super important, but things like baby music classes and fancy toys are not. This is why she will be wearing Goodwill/yard sale clothes to her outrageously expensive daycare. We want to make sure she is cared for in a way that will support her development and not contrast too much with what we're doing at home. And the no screen time for little kids thing is pretty well-supported by evidence. That's the sort of thing they tell you at the pediatrician's office, not the niche parenting blogs.

I had the TV and Nintendo until my eyes bled childhood too. I enjoyed it at the time, but I can also identify gaps in my experience that I wish weren't there. By being more intentional than my parents, I am hoping she will at least see that we tried to do right by her instead of blindly stumbling through without giving her much consideration. I am sure my kid will have critiques of my parenting too, and I will gladly support whatever whackadoo things she decides to try when raising my grandchildren.

Beautiful. Thank you.

Lookee what my sister sent me so I can make something for myself! Yellow has always been my favorite color and I love bright colors as well so when she saw this she said I had to have it haha! And I have all this time on my hands, crocheting is so relaxing for me its the perfect recuperating activity. I think I'll make one of those star afghans that I so enjoy making - all the previous ones I made I gave to other people.

I’ve raised a blended family: five kids, boys and girls, one with a disability, one a stepchild...it’s been a pretty wild ride. When my first was born I read tons of books trying to find the “right” way to do be a parent. I joke that with my youngest, my parenting philosophy has become, “Hmm. If he falls out of that tree, will he get hurt badly enough to need medical attention?”

My kid had to do an interview for a school project, and he chose me. One of his questions was, What advice to you have for me when I am a parent? I wasn’t expecting it, so my off-the-cuff answer was: Be yourself. You can center your life around your family but don’t center your entire sense of your self around them. I trust your ability to live thoughtfully in relationship with the people you love.

I think it’s similar to what EM wrote above: Parenting as an intentional expression of your own values. I love that, and might borrow it if one of my kids ever asks me for advice again.

I think one of the best things I did raising my son was reading to him a lot. He would bring me these big stacks of books and would sit in my lap while I read to him. Precious memories.

Yeah cuz the one line that stuck out for me in EM's post was "blindly stumbling thru without giving one much consideration".

This turned into a very interesting conversation today.
I think I’ll be able to transition into a new family with a much better understanding of it all now. I mean I always go along with what the parents want. That was never my issue. Every once in awhile when I get a new family I get a slight ping of resentment. But it’s not because of their parenting styles I have to figure out what that’s about. But for now-all these answers just made my transition smoother and I feel a little more confident about starting again.

Boy have I told you how good my new mattress is? I have been blaming my depression for my poor sleep and vice versa when all I needed was a new mattress. Mattresses are stupidly expensive I went to a discount mattress store to buy a branded one and even discounted they were $600. I have an unbranded one for $160 from discount furniture chain and it has really good springs and great padding. Maybe if I had a really bad back but why bother
And new pillow helped too

I concur that I tried to parent differently to my mum but I also had to battle with my ex who came from a military family and he tried too but...

I started my star afghan:

Looks good so far!

That was fast!

Wow. That looks lovely. I don't have the patience to learn to crotchet or knit.

My car with its stupid engine light is at the mechanic I asked them to fix the auto selector cable that they were going to ring me about. I even got a lift home a rare service in this day and age.

Car stress T stress I am trying not to work myself up about it and now I have a debt collector going to contact me because the insurance company won't accept my $20/ month offer repayment. I have a brilliant financial councillor though which helps.

Every time I think about the appt with exT and my gp on Friday I want to start a fight. I really don't want to go through the process of 6 years getting comfortable and trusting then 2 years finding ways to bring things up if the next T isn't as patient as exT
ETA obviously he was as patient as I first thought

Being crotchety just comes natural to some of us! Its cro-chet (shaaaaaaaaay).

Lol I haven't turned off auto correct on this new iPad yet