3 sessions in

Hm, looks like it depends on where you live


Are you necessarily looking for a diagnosis right now? Could you just tell her what your T had said about your possible diagnoses?

I want a diagnosis and treatment.

You might need to pursue diagnosis by someone other than the person treating you. I recently went and got a second opinion on my decade-old DID diagnosis. I found a psychiatrist with explicit experience in DID using the ISSTD (International Society for the Study of Trauma and Dissociation) website.

My therapist doesn't diagnose either, and I can appreciate why he wouldn't want to focus on diagnosis. He is only interested in the person in front of him, and is only interested in a diagnosis IF it is going to help the therapy. It was helpful for me to see this psychiatrist who I know has explicit experience in DID and, thus, was able to both understand my experience & answer my questions & doubts. The psychiatrist isn't going to be the one doing my therapy, though, and that's OK. A psychiatrist who has experience in DID may be able to refer you to a therapist with experience.

In any case, if you haven't checked out the ISSTD website, I highly recommend it.

Agreed that you might need to see someone separate for a diagnosis--psychiatrists tend to do that, and you could probably find one on your insurance. As do psychologists--if they aren't on your insurance, would it be possible for you to pay for just one or two sessions to get the diagnosis, then see someone who would be covered by your insurance?

As I've suggested before, you can find a psychologist who specializes in diagnostic testing. You would see that individual just for testing. They would write a letter of assessment. Both times I've been through formal psychological testing, it was with an outside party who I didn't know and never saw again once testing was complete. Both times I was sent for that testing, specifically because my therapist or pdoc at the time wanted to clarify my diagnosis to make sure he was not missing something.

Thanks guys. I cannot pay for it. I emailed a couple more people so hopefully someone takes my insurance. If not I will be stuck where I am. I am really worried about my T that is going on vaca in two more days. She has taken her website down and not replied to my email. She said I could email her until she left with any concerns. I was trying to see if she had any recommendations.

A therapist or doctor can refer you for testing and most insurance will pay for at least a portion of it if not all of it.

How cool that many of you know the OP from past experience and can validate how far she has come along the healing road!
I'm not sure if this helps but reading about "dissociative systems" made me think that dissociation is related to triggers. I personally didn't get better using visualisations because doing visualisation in a meditative situation didn't deal with how I react when triggered at all. Having dissociative friends reinforces my thoughts about that.

Dealing with how I switch into dissociative behaviour unawares when triggered requires trust. For me that level of trust is with close friends who have their own experiences of trauma. I don't see how it can be done in 3 sessions, especially if you feel afraid about the process. Dealing with triggers and reactive states requires a patient, repeated, kind interventions.

Dnester, from what people here have written about you, you sound perceptive enough about yourself to work out what you need to do in this situation? Sounds like some of this might be panic about your therapist not being around?

sending hugs from my own young alter!!!

Im just so confused now. My therapist on vaca told me to accept the very likely diagnosis of UDD. Stop struggling with something I can solve and trust Dr. C. I dont trust her though but I might end up having to stay with her. So far 4 out of the 8 LPCs, Lcsw and Psychiatrists I have contacted have told me they dont accept my insurance or they are to far from me .I just feel like I have thought all this time that my thoughts were alters but now I am not so sure. Now I am even second guessing if Thorne the one I felt is my bad alter is even an alter. The only thing I know to do is go to my psychologist( Dr. C) tommorow and explain to her my concerns about the chatter not being alters. Seeing if Thorne is actually an alter and why she thinks that. With telling her I dont believe my thoughts are alters will eliminate entertaining the thought of fusing them together. If she listens to me that is.

I think you should discuss ALL your concerns with Dr.C tomorrow.Maybe even write them all down ahead of time so you don't forget any.And leave space in between each one to take notes while discussing them.

I feel bad for you Dnester,there's so many different opinions by so many,it's understandable that you're confused.

I try to not influence you but I do think I will say what I really think...

First off,I'm not seeing the "progress" that's been talked about.Your posts are always all over the place,you sound very confused,heavily influenced by others and most of the time you seem worse not getting better or gaining more knowledge.

You don't even know if you have DID for sure.That psychologist saw you for how long years ago? Three months?And doesn't even remember you,doesn't have your records and now wants to pull some hocus pocus **** after 3 sessions? Wtf?

It's all so ridiculous.

I'm sorry if that sounded rude but holy cow your situation sounds so fu*ked up.And sounds pretty scary to me that the psychologist is supposed to be a specialist

Dr.C is the one trying to pull the hocus pocus my regular T is gone on vaca now. So do I just tell Dr. C she sounds like a fool. Lol

I know Dr C is the one trying to pull the hocus pocus,I probably just worded it wrong.

I wouldn't tell her she sounds like a fool but I would definitely spend the entire time discussing all your concerns.

You can tell her what you wrote in this thread: that if these are alters (and you're not sure they are) they provide a defense against something, and you're not sure you're ready to mess with things without first understanding what that is and being ready to deal with it.

Ok, will do. I see her in the morning. I actually have discussed with her all three times thst I have seen her that I do not hear internal dialogue which she responds well you dont have to hear them they are parts of you. I also have told her all 3 times thst this could be other things besides DID which she said the alters have different perspectives. Yes one does. Then I have asked her about the perpetrator alter and then she goes off on things about Micheal Jackson. Everything is DID and everytime I try to explain to her not everything is DID or maybe not even at all she comes up with reasons it is. Some make sense some she cant possible know me enough to know those things.

Here's the thing Dnester. This therapist (Dr C) is committed to sticking with her original diagnosis of DID because pride would prevent her from going back on it. She said she remembers diagnosing you with DID 15 years ago (even though she doesn't remember anything else about you, or have your files to look back on) and she has publicly declared to you current T that she did in fact diagnose you with DID back then. So she has set that in stone. Human psychology tells us that when someone has publicly declared a belief it is incredibly difficult for them ever to retract that - in fact people will go to extraordinary lengths to defend the publicly stated belief, even when all rational evidence indicates the belief goes against the reality of a situation.

What that means is, this Dr C is going to stick with your diagnosis of DID NO MATTER WHAT. She will not be interested in hearing anything else, she will not entertain any ideas of anything different. and she will rationalize any contrary symptoms to queries you have to match her belief. This is a real psychological thing. This is what human beings do. And from all you have said about this Dr C, that is exactly what she doing.

If you do actually have DID it should be fine (even though that is also questionable as well, given what you have said she wants to do).

If you DON'T actually have DID - and to be honest the symptoms you describe do not fit a typical DID presentation at all - then this T will have zero interest in exploring that.

I like what BettyBanana suggested - go in and talk to her, list all your concerns., get real answers, and don't give up until you have them .You are too important for her to push her on agenda on you or make mistakes with you. The most important thing in that therapy room should be YOU.

So I told her I really think this chatter has something to do with my meds. She said that I was in the acceptance/denial phase and that can happen all through therapy. I asked her about the splitting in BPD versus the alters. She explained that splitting in BPD is like a baseball player getting bad scores he cant accept anything bad in himself so he shows his previous scores to people so he can see the good in himself and project the bad out. She said alters like I explain with Thorne she is out and her emotions I am aware but taking the back seat is co consciousness. We did some work on a possible sexual alter going in asking questions. Then she also said she recommended the fusing because it is a way to combine everyone without bringing the painful memory attached to it to the present.

I still dont know what to do. Stay with her or keep searching for somebody new. Got another no from someone who would have been great.

How did you feel about what she told you in session?

Somehow I didn't catch the part about UDD in your post before.Your therapist told you to accept the very likely diagnosis of UDD?When did that come about, did she say that just recently?Because you were saying OSDD at one time,then DID,so now it''s UDD?

Do you understand what UDD means? This is what I just read:

So,now I can't help but think maybe you should just stick it out with this person and go along with what they suggest.Who knows,maybe they know what they're doing afterall.Maybe they can actually help you.

I'm sure that doesn't help your confusion.But it sounds like maybe even your treatment providers are unsure themselves right now and that would be why UDD would make sense.

Alot made sense I didnt have time to talk to her about not fusing. She cut my time short to meet with her daughter. The BPD or alter explanation made sense. I also understand why she thinks I have a sexual alter now but I wont go into that. I did have a therapist I had in mine because we talked on the phone. She seemed informative, stable and caring but she doesnt accept my insurance, charges out of pocket and has a waiting list.

Dr.C said DDNOS on the phone before I started seeing her again. I asked her today what my diagnosis was and she said she put adjustment disorder because I live in the group home for insurance purposes. I asked to make sure she wasnt putting me under PTSD because my insurance doesnt accept that. She said she doesnt want to delve any deeper into telling my diagnosis right now. My t on vaca labeled me as possible UDD. When I told her I didnt believe I had any alters she said accept it as a strong possibility and why was I refusing help with something that could be resolved. So I dont have a solid answer right now.

I thought you were actually going to discuss things with her not just go in and try to prove her wrong.It sounds like it didn't go well and wasn't very helpful at all.

Thanks for explaining.That's good she doesn't want to delve deeper until she's sure what your diagnosis is.So maybe working with her will help with that.Maybe fusion will work since they're not saying DID.Maybe it's worth a try,maybe they're more like different parts that aren't the dissociative type.Or different types of alters or something. Having alters doesn't equal DID and it sounds like that's what your treatment providers are trying to figure out?

IDK,I am super confused by all of this.

I am confused too. She has said they are dissociative alters but I am not like her clients that have surgery and dont even remember. She has called it low spectrum DID. I dont even know anymore.