Couch 198: All the Countries Couch

WTF is WFS?

WarmFuzzySocks. My post wasn’t clear. I see that now. I just noticed her name is green.

She started composting?

Oh! Well, support and congratulations to her!

I cant handle the responsibility. I freak / flake out.

Eta - we got warning of no water tomorrow and im already freaking out. I will have to walk next door to pee. Thats embarrassing!

Oh, as in a moderator. Was trying to remember what green meant.

Yes. My post was terribly unclear.

Yes. She joined the inside as did FKM. I wanna see behind the wall but I don’t want to be a mod.

This reminds me of when my great-grandmother died. My cousins, our sister, and C were at our grandma's house in the den watching tv. Looking back, I guess the family had gathered knowing that my great-grandmother was about to die. C must have been around 4, I think. She was the oldest of the kids there. Anyway, the TV was on - which was a very rare treat as we didn't get that at home. My grandma came in the room and sat down. She was weeping. It scared us. We wondered what was wrong. But we didn't ask. I'm not sure exactly why, but it felt very uncomfortable and confusing seeing her cry. So C pretended she didn't see.

Anyway, I don't know much about autism at all, or parenting, let alone parenting combined with autism. Just wanted to share an anecdote where a child pretends not to notice an adult crying because it felt threatening to acknowledge it. Maybe an autistic kid really doesn't notice or is disinterested. I tend to think the first response for neurotypical children to seeing adults cry is fear, however, not any sort of empathetic response. So I guess I just wonder if that would mean it would be more likely for children to have similar responses towards this whether they are neurotypical or on the spectrum.

You should see me in real life. I woke up looking like Shrek.

I'm such a space head today. I booked a ticket to see the Try Guys (You can find them on Facebook or YouTube if you're remotely interested), and really thought it was for today. I had my H drive me to my session with T and then to the theater to avoid paying for parking. Got all the way there and he realized that their name wasn't on the venue. So I checked my ticket and realized the show isn't until NEXT Monday. I was looking forward to it, put on makeup and everything, to mistake it for a week earlier. Especially after my session with T where he told me that CPS reached out to him on Friday, over a month after they came out to my house to investigate. He hasn't talked to them yet, but did say they asked on the message if he has concern of me being the sole caregiver, which I'm not. And asked if he has concerns about the kids and my self harm. I thought this case was over with but apparently it's still open which is really worrying me and stressing me out.

I just got home from the four-times rescheduled (not by me) grad school interview. It was fun. I like the program.

So I am sitting here rocketing between being inspired by all of the confident interview-y stuff I said and thinking it’s the dumbest idea I have ever had.

Hugs, SheHulk...

I’m not the brightest bulb in the box, but I can promise you it’s not even remotely a dumb idea.

I want to text the therapist, but I've already texted her twice this month.

I just need some reassurance that I probably am not going to die from a brain abscess or meningitis.

That's not much at all. I suspect I could end up with an email charge for the amount I've emailed my T in past week or so. That included an extra session, too. Not sure what my deal is. Though tonight's email only ended up being a longer exchange because I was like, "I just want you to tell me things will be OK," and he gave a very therapist-y response of "Well, I'm not sure which things you're talking about so I don't feel like I can say if they'll be OK." Did confirm things were fine in our relationship, but that's not what this was about. I did reply to say was more just general emotional crisis lately, and then he gave me the requested reply and a bit more, with "You’re definitely strong enough to get through this. You’ve been through worse and done well, you can do this also." Maybe I need to print that out and keep it in my purse or something.

Or encephalitis.

Are you having symptoms or just worried? (I have a lot of health anxiety, so I get it.)

I'm feeling a mixture of being excited and thinking it was a dumb move to sign up for grad school myself. And my classes start Thursday.

What program are you going for?

There are so many things I want ask exT like why did he sometimes flinch and look away when I was putting my blanket round my shoulder and did he ever catch up with the paraglider pilot.

Both my ears are infected (middle ear infections, eardrums are intact). I think they have been infected for a month or so, tbh, but it only got really bad in the past week. By really bad, I mean that my head has been killing me. My neck and shoulders hurt, too. And my jaw. The headache is worse than the earache.

((susannah))

The likelihood is that it's not a brain abscess or meningitis, but it sounds absolutely miserable anyway, miserable enough that you might want to head to urgent care now, or to the doc tomorrow. Partly for some relief from the pain, and partly so that you can get something that can help your body to heal.

School counseling. I miss working with children and families.

I went to an interest meeting for my graduate school today. It must be in the air. Application dead line is November of this year. If I get accepted I would start in January. No break in between my BSW and MSW.. but it will be worth it in the end.

You all are scaring me. Working with families, msw's, graduate school -- the horror the horror.