[Flinders40]

Curious of what types of exercises (for trauma) that have worked between patient and therapist. Especially techniques that help in the moment/ during a flashback or particular memory.

How does your therapist help?
Any examples/ advice?

[ChickenNoodleSoup]

Sitting upright, putting my feet on the ground, feeling the floor beneath them. Feeling my weight press into the chair, feeling the armrests or other parts of the chair with my hands. Also focusing on my breathing and trying to just let the thoughts pass by.

Sometimes my T will also say something while I'm having a flashback, but more often than not I can't hear him. He'll usually just give basic instructions on what to do. It usually helps the most that he just sits there and is with me, and when I manage then hearing his voice is nice.

[Lonelyinmyheart]

T has squeezed my hand, that really helps. She asks me to look at her, or something in the room, but that isn't always possible. She keeps talking to me in a calming way and that also brings me back.

Encouraging me gently to talk through what is going on in the moment during flashbacks

[nottrustin]

EMDR T has become veey good at recognizing when I am starting to shut down. If she recognizes the signs before I disasociate, she will start asking me a bunch of questions that cant be answered with a yes or no or a head nod. She often will change the subject. She has a soft ball that she will pull out of her desk and gently toss to me. Sometimes we will toss and back and forth a bit while talking. Other times I will hold and squeeze it. Once in a while she will ask me to look around the office and describe something I see. Once it was a painting and I mentioned that it aeemed interwsting. So we discuussed where it came feom, what it represented. Once I told here that I needed to change the topic because I was feeling like I was shutting down because it was to intense. When I couldnt think of another topic, she jokingly said how about we talk about chocolaye cake. We had a descuasion on why I don't like cake and not a big fan of chocolate.

I think, for me, the grounding technique she uses has a to be a surprise. It wouldn't work if she say tossed a ball at me each time becauae I would expect it.

[coolibrarian]

My T suggests that I slow my breathing down.

[ArtleyWilkins]

Originally Posted by nottrustin

EMDR T has become veey good at recognizing when I am starting to shut down. If she recognizes the signs before I disasociate, she will start asking me a bunch of questions that cant be answered with a yes or no or a head nod. She often will change the subject. She has a soft ball that she will pull out of her desk and gently toss to me. Sometimes we will toss and back and forth a bit while talking. Other times I will hold and squeeze it. Once in a while she will ask me to look around the office and describe something I see. Once it was a painting and I mentioned that it aeemed interwsting. So we discuussed where it came feom, what it represented. Once I told here that I needed to change the topic because I was feeling like I was shutting down because it was to intense. When I couldnt think of another topic, she jokingly said how about we talk about chocolaye cake. We had a descuasion on why I don't like cake and not a big fan of chocolate.

I think, for me, the grounding technique she uses has a to be a surprise. It wouldn't work if she say tossed a ball at me each time becauae I would expect it.

This is pretty much how my therapist worked. It varied, which was important because part of grounding was getting me in a new head space. What he did depended on how far dissociated I was at the time; it was sort of on a spectrum for me from mildly "not there" to extremely distressed and detached from the present. The more he worked with me, the more he was able to see it happening before it became severe (most of the time), and the more I experienced the ability to stay grounded, the less frequent were the episodes of dissociation. One of the greatest positives of my therapy was getting to a place where the PTSD symptoms weren't running the show, much due to the effective work with grounding techniques.

[Flinders40]

Originally Posted by Lonelyinmyheart

T has squeezed my hand, that really helps. .

As much as I would like that I wouldn’t even know how to initiate it. 😔

[nottrustin]

Originally Posted by Flinders40

As much as I would like that I wouldn’t even know how to initiate it. 😔

EMDR T and I brainstormed ideas of ways to help me. I told her that since I know she is a safe person if she felt it qas appropriate it would be okay to touch my hand, back, etc. I told jer once T touched my shoulder. It really helped me to feel safe. Emdr T told me if she were to touch me she would say so. Ex "Not I am going to put my hand on your shoulder now" If I were to not want ut and make any type of indication of that, I will back off and tell you so"

[Lonelyinmyheart]

Originally Posted by Flinders40

As much as I would like that I wouldn’t even know how to initiate it. 😔

It was something my T just did, but she already knew that I was absolutely ok with physical contact. Could you you discuss this with her? I know it's a tricky area.

[Flinders40]

Originally Posted by Lonelyinmyheart

It was something my T just did, but she already knew that I was absolutely ok with physical contact. Could you you discuss this with her? I know it's a tricky area.

I’m afraid to go down that path - mainly out of fear of rejection. I think that would ruin everything.

[Lonelyinmyheart]

Originally Posted by Flinders40

I’m afraid to go down that path - mainly out of fear of rejection. I think that would ruin everything.

I so completely understand this. With me, it's been such a desperate need that I have always voiced it quite early on with my ts, I think before I invested too much in them.. My T from a few years ago said she didnt offer physical contact as part of how she works, but that we could talk about my feelings about it and find other ways of connecting. I was absolutely devastated and thought I would never get over it but to be honest she was such a lovely t in many ways. I didn't get all my needs met with her and we didn't go into certain things, but I got a lot out of my work with her.

I approached the issue with current T because I had had a dream about her where she hugged me. I brought it up with the intention of saying look, this is how I feel but I'm not expecting it for real. I hadn't been seen her for long and really didn't think she offered physical contact. Anyway I was really surprised and delighted when she did offer me a hug. But I understand better now how she works and her views on what therapy is.

So obviously it could go either way and I understand what an incredibly difficult thing it is to talk about. I wonder if mentioning a dream or even just trying to bring into the conversation in a less scary way might gauge how your t feels about contact? Could you ask about it in terms of grounding like whether she would hold your hand in that situation? But I completely understand the risk around this and how awful it would feel to be refused. But bear in mind that with a really good and safe t they can help you process your feelings about physical contact even if they don't necessarily offer it themselves. You absolutely won't ruin anything by asking, they would have undoubtedly heard it before. Its okay to need it.