[Forgetmenot07]

Recently I've been digging deeper and deeper into the motives of why I behave a certain way of behaving or what makes me so unhappy and find it very uncomfortable to even realise some of my weaknesses and patterns of action. I constantly feel shame and embarrassment and get so uncomfortable because I've been in therapy for so long and it almost feels like ive been pretending all along. I also worry that my T could see the motives and weaknesses all along. I have developed a need to overshare because i really want to get it off my chest. But when i try i feel so exposed.

[susannahsays]

Maybe you could write everything that you're thinking of sharing down, then be more selective about what you actually share and see how things go. Then you can share more.

[Lemoncake]

My T told me that he's been in therapy longer than I had. (2.6 years at the moment), The thing is you didn't get to where you are overnight. You need as much therapy and support as YOU need. If you had to see T 4 times a week that's okay same as if you were in therapy for X years.

I liked the book Healing the shame that binds you by John Bradshaw.

[ArtleyWilkins]

One of the biggest changes for me in therapy was reaching the point where I could simply own my quirks and errors without the baggage of shame or embarrassment. I think the fact that my therapists were so very matter-of-fact about my "faults" being completely understandable based on my background helped. Their philosophy was simply, "Let's see what we can do to not continue down that same path in the future." (Not direct quote). They very much helped me reach a place where I can now own my errors without going into throws of guilt and self-flagellation. Now I just own my errors, and work toward growth and change. That's the best any of us can do, right?

[Omers]

My T would suggest that dealing with our shame in a supportive, non judging relationship is one of the, if not the, primary goal of therapy.

[BudFox]

For me therapy produced shame and indignity not because I was "getting in touch" with underlying stuff, but because i was exposing personal things while someone stared at me and scrutinized me.

Was analogous to getting undressed while a clothed person watched (voyeur).

Originally Posted by BudFox

For me therapy produced shame and indignity not because I was "getting in touch" with underlying stuff, but because i was exposing personal things while someone stared at me and scrutinized me.


Was analogous to getting undressed while a clothed person watched (voyeur).

I have definitely felt like that last part in sessions before. Not pleasant at all.