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  #26  
Old Jul 13, 2019, 04:38 PM
Lrad123 Lrad123 is offline
Poohbah
 
Member Since: Nov 2017
Location: United States
Posts: 1,332
Quote:
Originally Posted by MobiusPsyche View Post
Benefiting from therapy requires a talent for introspection and self-awareness that I believe "most people" lack, so my answer is no.

But I do think that your being more open and trusting with people outside of therapy is probably related to what's happening inside therapy.
I’m comfortable with things that are measurable, and this is not. Yet I have a hunch that there’s something good in my therapy. The conflict with these two different ways of processing my experience can be maddening.
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feileacan

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  #27  
Old Jul 13, 2019, 09:13 PM
here today here today is offline
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Member Since: Jun 2012
Location: USA
Posts: 3,517
Quote:
Originally Posted by MobiusPsyche View Post
Benefiting from therapy requires a talent for introspection and self-awareness that I believe "most people" lack, so my answer is no.

But I do think that your being more open and trusting with people outside of therapy is probably related to what's happening inside therapy.
I do believe I have talent for intropection and self-awareness, at least to the extent that it was not feelings and "parts" that were cut off or dissociated.

What I lacked was other-awareness, including other-awareness of the therapists. I didn't see where they were possibly wrong or making mistakes-- I turned it into what was wrong about me. But, ultimately, therapy just tore me down and did not help me rebuild. Plus, the last therapist just quit, after 6 years, saying she did not "have the emotional resources" to continue.

Do you see some way that is about a lack of talent for introspection and self-awareness on my part? If so, please be so kind as to share that with me.

I believe what I lacked going into therapy was an integrated and relatively well-grounded sense of self. After 55 years of therapy on and off, I still don't have a very good one. I kinda know the problem but that is not sufficient to put and hold a self together. I think it is possible to develop ways to help people like me, and I try to help myself. But I'm not at all sure that current methods of therapy help much and, as in my case and others, I think they have been destructive and harmful instead.
Thanks for this!
koru_kiwi, MobiusPsyche
  #28  
Old Jul 13, 2019, 10:51 PM
starfishing starfishing is offline
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Member Since: May 2017
Location: USA
Posts: 466
Yes, I think most people would benefit from therapy if they gave it a try with a good therapist who's a good fit. It's not the right tool for everyone, and good therapists can be very hard to find. But I definitely think the underlying process of therapy has the potential to be useful to most people.

It can be hard to tell when it's helping, though. In retrospect I think my gut has usually been right. There were times I've tried hard to see some value but suspected it wasn't going anywhere, and ultimately my sense was that it was useless. And there were times I thought therapy might be helping but couldn't quite put my finger on how, and looking back it was helpful in some important ways. But those feelings were always alternated with a lot if uncertainty and second-guessing, so I know how hard it is to tell when you're in the midst of it. My current therapy has been immensely helpful, but even though that's very clear to me most of the time, I still have doubts sometimes.
Thanks for this!
feileacan, Lrad123
  #29  
Old Jul 14, 2019, 08:02 AM
MobiusPsyche's Avatar
MobiusPsyche MobiusPsyche is offline
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Member Since: Feb 2016
Location: Appalachian Mountains
Posts: 2,040
Quote:
Originally Posted by here today View Post
I do believe I have talent for intropection and self-awareness, at least to the extent that it was not feelings and "parts" that were cut off or dissociated.


What I lacked was other-awareness, including other-awareness of the therapists. I didn't see where they were possibly wrong or making mistakes-- I turned it into what was wrong about me. But, ultimately, therapy just tore me down and did not help me rebuild. Plus, the last therapist just quit, after 6 years, saying she did not "have the emotional resources" to continue.


Do you see some way that is about a lack of talent for introspection and self-awareness on my part? If so, please be so kind as to share that with me.


I believe what I lacked going into therapy was an integrated and relatively well-grounded sense of self. After 55 years of therapy on and off, I still don't have a very good one. I kinda know the problem but that is not sufficient to put and hold a self together. I think it is possible to develop ways to help people like me, and I try to help myself. But I'm not at all sure that current methods of therapy help much and, as in my case and others, I think they have been destructive and harmful instead.
I think most people on these boards do have the capacity for self reflection. But we are a tiny slice of an enormous population, was my point.

I'm sorry therapy hurt you. The current therapies for people with an underdeveloped sense of self are not very good. DBT, for instance, ignores it entirely and focuses on behaviors.
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Thanks for this!
here today, koru_kiwi
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