Couch 202: The Grande Unicorn Frappuccino couch.

I want the housework part to come back. My house is starting to get dirty and housework wipes me out.

Yes, I believe they have.

I've got one too. It's a speech balloon.

Patients suffer terrible distress at the tought that their Ts don't like them. Is it really necessary for Ts to leave them hanging like that?

Hi Everyone, I didn't SH last night. I went shopping with my Mom and found the sweater my sister wants for Christmas (she sends me her list pretty early). I was glad I found it because they only had one in her size and I didn't feel like continuing going to this store in various cities until I found it. It's not my favorite store to go to. But that's done. Then I went out to dinner with my Dad. It was nice. Just the two of us. We just had tacos and stuff but still it was good to spend time with him. He is giving away his old truck that he has had for 20 years (only has 100K miles on it though) to a charity today so I took his picture by his truck last night as a sort of goodbye and I hugged the truck and was sort of sad. It's been with my family way more than half of my life. It's been a good truck. I figure I must be depressed if I am getting teary eyed over my Dad giving up his old truck. BTW he did get a new truck a couple of months ago and it's bigger and nicer. Then after that I laid in bed because the power company shut off our air conditioning, they do that when they want to conserve power, but since it was hot, I have a ceiling fan so I just laid there with an ice pack until I got sleepy. So all that to say, I didn't SH when I got home. And I ended up having a fairly good night. Tonight I am meeting a friend for coffee, so I am trying to do these things that are good for me and positive for me instead of SH. I've tried drawing on my skin before, or writing on my skin, and sometimes it works, and sometimes it just makes the feelings increase. I haven't drawn on my skin in a while though. HUGS if anyone wants one, Kit

Hugs, slumber. I like your truck story. After i had a chevy s10 for like ten years, when i went car shopping, i couldnt even LOOK in a truck window! But ten years after that i happened to rent a big old dodge ram 4x4, and my aversion was instantly cured. I fell in loooooove with that bad boy!

I have to stop SH-ing at work. It's risky. Even though I'm normally alone in my office, someone could still walk by or worse yet, come to see me. But I SH-ed anyway. I'm confusing myself. I'm doing some things that are protective like going to have coffee with a friend tonight, but then I'm doing stuff that is risky like SH-ing at work. There's definitely a push and pull inside of me. I need to get this figured out ASAP. It helps the suicidal feelings though but it's safer to SH at home. Plus if I SH too deep then I can more easily go to the hospital if I am at home. I need to just make a rule for myself or something. Ugh.

The couch is quiet today. What is everyone up to? I'm at work, bored, like usual. At least the sui thoughts abated for a while.

Hugs, Kit.

I'm drinking tea and feeling nervous about tomorrow's session.

HUGS LostOnTheTrail. I'm sorry you're nervous. I hope it goes okay. What kind of tea are you drinking? I like the brand Kusmi especially St. Petersburg and Prince Wladimir flavors. If you like black tea, these are really good.

I’m starting the presemester clean (to avoid summer course grading). And setting up my new printer now the study is done.

Do you have a lot of Summer grading to do @@? My prof friend always takes the Summers off and frequently takes Winter term off as well. She doesn't start back until late September.

Second day with students under my belt. I'm liking my kiddos thus far and class sizes are actually decent (right at 30 give or take a body). My back is killing me though. I can tell just how lazy I was all summer. I hate the first day grind, but today I was actually teaching and that always feels better.

Glad your day went well @ArtleyWilkins and I hope your back feels better soon. Maybe try some ice or a warm compress. Or both, alternate. I also like aspercream rub, it also comes with a lidocane option. It helps me when my back hurts due to PMS and stuff like that.

I don't understand myself. I'm not usually like this. I'm having this strong push and pull inside me. I'm doing something good for me tonight--going to meet a friend for coffee, but then I'm not doing something good for me, taking care of the wound. I don't know why I'm acting this way unless it still has something to do with not feeling like T gave an empathetic enough response. So maybe I'm just like well, forget it then, I'm just going to mess up anyway. But it's also soothing to the sui feelings so I don't know what's up. I see T in 5 days and 2 hours. I don't like myself too much right now because I'm not acting in a way that I think is appropriate. I'm possibly reacting and I don't like that. Maybe I'm trying to test T. Surely that's more useful than just coming out and telling her, I wish you would have given me a more empathetic response (sarcasm). I also feel like the wound isn't "bad" enough to require treatment, though I know it would heal better if I got it treated. There's something in me saying, "You didn't punish yourself enough." Argh. I wish T was tonight so I could get this figured out and stop behaving so oddly.

Possibly I am reacting to planning on telling T something traumatic that happened to me in childhood that I don't talk about much. I have it written down in my journal to read to her on Monday but maybe that is also messing with me.

On a totally different subject, I had a nice skype chat with one of the owners of the business today. We haven't skyped in a few days so it was nice. I told her she's lucky she's not in So. Cal where the temps are over 100. She teased me about coming back East for training to get out of the heat.

About 20 minutes till I'm off of work and get to go have coffee with my friend. Usually we meet only every other week but she was free on back to back weeks. So that's nice. We won't talk about anything too serious but it will be good to be hanging out with someone and not cooped up in my room. I could always hang out with my parents, but it's tempting to go to my room where I could SH more. I gotta knock this crap off. T is not going to be happy with me. And it's not good for me.

I think I'm officially spamming the couch.

Spam and cool whip!

Sounds like a good couch name!

I don't actually mind spam or cool whip but I don't know about having them together.

I'm probably about to have some kind of whipped cream in my coffee at Starbucks but it's probably readi-whip not cool whip. Anyone know what Starbucks uses? Any baristas out there?

It's definitely been a long sort of intense day for me. I am looking forward to relaxing over some coffee. Coffee for some reason, doesn't make me agitated or anything. I do usually feel a boost in mood though. I think that is just caffeine in general.

Okay, I am done spamming the couch for now. Maybe more later.