Couch 202: The Grande Unicorn Frappuccino couch.

Ugh. I'm pretty sure I'm going to SH when I get home. I still have an hour and a half of work left, well I don't have work to fill an hour and a half but I have to be here for an hour and a half, so I'm hoping in that time I can get distracted and relaxed and not feel the need to SH. I did some online shopping and found Mom two sets of jammies for her birthday. So that was distracting and took up a bit of time. Trying to keep my mind and thoughts on the positive side. Trying to think what T would say but I've never really talked to her when I was in the midst of a cycle of SH. Only when it's done. So I'm having trouble drawing up her words. I know former T would tell me to take it easy and treat myself with kindness. But former T isn't here!

Still, you know what she would say.

Can you stay out until it's close to your bedtime? Browse some shops, go to the library, etc. Distract yourself somehow? Go to a movie?

I am going to drive to the town next to mine to see if I can find this sweater my sister wants but we don't have at the shop in my town but the shop in the next town over is larger so they might have it. I looked online but I couldn't find it. I'm going to ask my Mom to go with me. So I might get distracted doing some shopping. I'm hoping I don't end up SH-ing tonight, but I have to admit, part of me feels like it's inevitable. That's the part I have to fight against.

I wonder if Ts have a higher divorce rate than normal people...

I saw on the internet that a T was teaching her patients to draw (doodle) on their bodies instead of SH.

Mine hasn't worn his wedding ring in like 4 months, so I wonder... Ex-T was married to another therapist for like 50 years, so they did OK. Ex-MC...well, he became a widower. But I would think it could be difficult for a non-T married to a T.

Isn't it good to be able to leave a bad marriage rather than grimly suffer through until one or the other spouse dies? I really don't see that longevity in itself is a great goal.

Not the highest
The top five highest divorce/separation rates by occupation were the following:

“Dancers and choreographers” at 43.05%,
“Bartenders” at 38.43%,
“Massage therapists” at 38.22%,
“Gaming cage workers” at 34.66%, and
“Extruding and forming machine setters, operators, and tenders, synthetic and glass fibers” at 32.74%.

-but high according to this:
"There was not a specific occupation listed as Marriage and Family Therapist in the same study, however, there were multiple occupations in which a Marriage and Family Therapist may fall. McCoy and Aamodt listed the occupation “Therapists, all other” as having a divorce/separation rate of 24.20%, “Sociologists” as 23.53%, “Social workers” as 23.16%, “Counselors” as 22.49%, “Miscellaneous social scientists and workers” as 19.65%, and “Psychologists” as 19.30%. Each one of these categories had a divorce/separation rate well above the national average for all occupations of 16.96%."
Do Marriage & Family Therapists Have Better Marriages? – The Family Therapy Blog

I heard that from a woman in my spring writing workshop. Wherever she works encourages kids to draw butterflies wherever they wanted to sh.

Gaming cage workers? How many of them even are there? Not to mention the extruders!

Now I know what questions to ask next time I have a serious date.

ATAT: “So are you an extruding and forming machine setter, operator, and tender, synthetic and glass fibers?”
Him: “No, nothing like that. Obtruding machine setter only.”

That's why I tattooed butterflies on my arms. Since tattooing, I haven't SH'ed in 4 years now.

These are the groups most likely to be married in Las Vegas, I suspect.

(But are people married is Las Vegas really any more likely to be get divorced?)

Now that doesn't make any sense at all.

I think its the fiberglas. That shyte gets into everything. Who can live like that?

A gaming cage worker is just a bank teller who works in a casino.

Tellers who work in banks have much lower rates.

Incidentally, there is another set of extruder workers who have a lower divorce rate.

Here's the full list:

A Comparison of Law Enforcement Divorce Rates with Those of Other Occupations | SpringerLink

You dont fool us. All somebody has to do is take you SIM card shopping.

Attorneys are only at 11%.
Probably because we aren't home a lot to get into fights and we know how expensive divorce is and how screwy family court judges are. Not as screwy as therapists of course, but screwy nonetheless.

My 78-year old mother traveled to Denmark to visit the exchange student she had as a teenager. She had me download Whatsapp so we could talk, but she keeps texting me and I keep replying to her on whatsapp because I have no idea how much using texting will end up costing her. I'm not sure she knows what she's doing, but I suggested she might need to be on wifi to get it to work and she claims she is on her friend's wifi. I don't have the will to try and diagnose her network issues from across an ocean via text message.

Bark wants to be this close tonight...

I am absolutely exhausted in every form. Today was a lot. First initial meeting with a new psychiatrist who is already transferring me to a more experienced psychiatrist in his office. Then meeting with the iop program's psychiatrist which I wasn't expecting to do that and it took the entire time of the first group. The other 2 groups were music therapy and art therapy, and weren't any help. Then drove to my therapy appointment and did that. Drove home and had to take my son to Taekwondo because my brother didn't answer his phone when he kept telling me he'd take him today. And I did all of those on only 4 hours of sleep. Tomorrow is my oldest son's first day of school for only 3 hours. I have a meeting with the school based therapist at my 2nd son's school. Then the iop program and then my individual therapy.

Met with T today - it went surprisingly well considering how much it bothered her that I stopped my meds 3 weeks ago. Even she had to admit that a 15 pound weight loss was a pretty good reason to stay off of them. I guess she texted my pdoc afterwards (the two of them are surprisingly chummy when it comes to discussing me) - but I haven't heard from either one.

New job continues to be fantastic - I hope it continues but everyone has been super helpful.

My mom just called me and told me that my aunt died unexpectedly. She’s really sad. I feel kind of numb, but maybe that’s because I’m still at work (night shift).

I've been so needy with L lately. I've email her every day for the last 3 weeks. I need to stop. I'm afraid I'm going to hit a boundary soon. But I really need her right now. My sui thoughts aren't from crisis. I'm tired of life. I only have a few things keeping me going: L, my nieces, and my dogs.

I'm so done with my H. I told him I wanted to die. He told me no because he depends on me. I told him that he hasn't been there for me in over a year, and that sex is now for payment (shopping, going out to dinner, back rub, etc.). His response: well then we won't have sex anymore. WTF?!?!

I'm sorry to hear about your Aunt

@healed84 Bark is adorable. (And I love the fact that you have a cat called Bark!)

What's the little rainbow bubble thing in the corner of my screen have they replaced the chat thingy?