[sophiebunny]

My treatment team strongly suggested I stay off PC. Their argument was that my psychiatric history is extremely complex and they were concerned I'd get hurt in the process of sharing it. I'm not sure I agree with them. However, in 24 years my MD has never given me bad advice. I think they don't quite get that it's lonely dealing with the complexity. Sometimes hearing someone else's story makes me feel less alone with mine.

I'm curious what other people's treatment teams think of using PC.

I was in a state hospital for a full year. My psychiatrist at the institution said that "people like me either end up permanently confined or dead" Well he was wrong. I'm not institutionalized and I'm not dead. What I am is someone with a unique insight into the mental health system.

[LonesomeTonight]

My T thinks of this like a support group for me, so he's generally OK with it. He's a bit bothered if I'm too affected by what people say about me or my therapy on here (I'll share things with him--anonymously--from time to time). Because, as he says, they aren't in the room with us. And also don't know my full history.


My former marriage counselor really didn't like my being on here. Partly because I'd worry about him doing things that T's I read about on here did, like take away emailing. And partly if people were critical of me regarding something with him, where they were saying, for example, that I shouldn't have asked him about his ill wife. So then I felt really guilty about it. But he said he was fine with my asking.

[MobiusPsyche]

There are a few posters who are anti- therapy but most of us are trying to get along as best we can with the pdocs and therapists and families that we have. I can understand the down sides of being here-- comparing yourself to others and wondering why they're farther along on their journey than you, getting absorbed in someone's conflict with their T, seeing treatment recommendations or what others are doing and asking for that from your pdoc or T, seeing someone stop taking their meds makes you think hey i can do that too, etc. But there are good things that come about on this site too like connection and support and understanding and not feeling so alone.

Can you recognize any odd these positives Ann's negatives from tote owen experiences?

May we your could follow your treatment teams advice but make it an experiment. Agree to stay off PC for 3 months and them reevaluate. That way you can tell if it really has an effect or not.

[Rive.]

They know you better than us, so maybe you ought to weigh your aloneness vs. the potential harm PC could cause.

I think they don't quite get that it's lonely dealing with the complexity

What did they say to that? What alternatives did they suggest re external support/support groups?

[susannahsays]

Not this forum. She did question whether another forum was helpful one time because I was enraged by an interaction I'd had with somebody, and also ranted about the general atmosphere of that forum. She didn't straight up recommend staying off, just made the observation that I had to weigh whether what I got out of going there was worth the downsides.

I find what your psychiatrist said rather condescending and also stupid. It's not like you're the only person with a complex mental illness ffs. If my psychiatrist said that to me, it would make me feel like I must be too much of a freak to interact with people.

ETA: Yeah, there is always the risk of getting hurt when you share anything with anybody, whether online or in person. I just don't think that means it's not worth sharing with people. As you've noticed, it can help people feel less alone. I think the benefits outweigh the risks. And you get to choose what you disclose - you don't have to tell anything you don't want to.

[SlumberKitty]

My T is generally supportive of it. She sees it as a sort of support group. I don't talk a lot about it in sessions so I don't think she knows I come here a lot. I've gotten way more positives out of it than I have negatives. It's a good place to bounce stuff off of people who have been there and understand. I think my T gets that. Besides, I would never do group therapy (I guess I shouldn't say never but I'd say highly unlikely) so this is probably the most support I'm going to get.

[Taylor27]

So far my t thinks this is a good place to seek support. I don't talk allot about pc yet in therapy probably will if it ever comes up in our discussion. Without pc i would feel so alone in my struggle and truly i feel so supported here. My first t felt this was not helping me and asked me to leave that was 12 years ago. I came back and so glad i did

[88Butterfly88]

My old t worried things here could trigger me. She said to stay off here if I feel impulsive so I don't do anything risky. I take her advice. We do have trigger warnings here so that helps me. I think you know yourself best, though if your current treatment team is genuinely concerned I say talk to them. Maybe they feel an in-person support group would be better? If so have them refer you to one. My old t thought in-person support would be better but was unable to find me a support group so I am still here.

[koru_kiwi]

when i was in therapy, i spent a lot of time on another support forum and a little bit of time here (i preferred the other forum because it pertained more to my specific issues and was private). T knew i visited the forums and that i often found them helpful . he had never heard of PC until i told him about it. so he went to check it out and his only real response to me as we discussed it further was 'there sure are a lot of people out there with mental health problems' (he was referring to the large amount of members that this site has).

anyway, he never said anything specific in regards that he thought i should not participate in these forums, even when i shared some of my postings and conversations with him over the years. it wasn't until after i had terminated therapy and i was reading through his session notes, that i had requested. he wrote an entry about that particular session where we talked about PC and him visiting the site. he wrote his thoughts and feelings about how he did not think it was a good idea that i should be seeking input from those forums or its members. i will never know exactly why he felt this way and could not be honest with me and say it in that session. i suspect much of it had to do with his own insecurities and lack of confidence. for one, he didn't want to upset me and deny me or tell me what i should not do (he often exhibited this type of insecurity in our relationship). second, i don't think he wanted me to be comparing my therapy, his techniques, and the relationship with others online. again, i suspect this was more about his lack of confidence.

regardless, if he would have been honest with me in that session and told me he thought it was a bad idea, i may have been slightly miffed about it, but i would not have stopped visiting the forums. the support of fellow members who often understood much of what i was going through, more so than my T ever could, was way more valuable then my Ts issue with his ego.

[*Beth*]

Actually, I haven't mentioned to anyone (except in passing to my husband) that I'm a member of a mental health support forum. Funny...I consider it kind-of private. Maybe it's one of those wonderful aspects of being older, but it wouldn't encourage/discourage me from being active here, regardless of what anyone else suggested. This feels like a big support group and an easy place to socialize (which I do very, very little of IRL).



I was on a "Nextdoor" site, it's supposed to be a social media forum to strengthen community ties, wherever in the US you live (you belong to the forum in your community). Turned out that the most active members were narrow-minded white people who thought they had the God-given privilege to decide how everyone should live his/her life. I hung with it for a month. Then I realized that every time I logged in I was tensing up and feeling mildly depressed. The hatred on that site was poison. I decided to delete my account. What a relief!

[nottrustin]

The only person who knows I visit here is my husband. A few years back I was to invested and let posts really bother me. Hubby suggested I stop. I didnt but I skip a lot of the threads if the are topics that will be triggering.

[ScarletPimpernel]

None of my Ts have told me not to be on PC. Ex-T was actually the one who found it for me. My Ts have said to take it in moderation and to take a break if it gets to be too much. But otherwise, they all think it's a good place for support.

[divine1966]

I never brought up any of my online activities/forums/groups with my t.

[InnerPeace111]

I’m like divine1966 in that I would never bring up any of my online activities in therapy. It just wouldn’t be happening as I would not want my T’s opinion or comments about it. Not that she would say anything. But I wouldn’t take my chances.

[Xynesthesia2]

I did not tell my Ts about PC too much but my first T had an issue about discussing my therapy with others and sometimes about my seeking help elsewhere. I thought it was completely inappropriate and counterproductive, mostly coming from his wanting to be omnipotent or something. Unfortunately he was not helpful though and just made demands. My own opinion is that it depends how someone uses a resource like PC. I had periods with this forum (and also another one in the past) where it became clear to me that I was not using them constructively, much more as a distraction and escape from truly dealing with important things. I closed my accounts on both forums for that reason more than once because it felt like they had become more like an addiction/compulsion and excessive. I don't feel like that at all currently at all, mostly because I am not neglecting my true needs, so no concerns. I personally prefer varied feedback and perspectives rather than relying on a single one or just a few, so a place like this can be very useful for me and also entertaining, given that I do not use it to substitute and escape other things.

[ArtleyWilkins]

I never brought it up. PC really didn't have anything to do with my own therapy.

I think one has to have good self care here. If you reveal a great deal about your therapy but the responses you get start confusing you, perhaps sharing a bit less detail and keeping your personal therapy matters confined to discussions with your therapist might be the best self care. I think that is a very individual thing, but sometimes there is a great deal of armchair quarterbacking going on that seems to distress certain members as well as very reactive responses to matters sometimes based on people's own therapy experiences. The fact is none of us are in the room in other people's sessions. We don't know the therapist. We don't even really know the members except for what is shared. And we certainly do not have a necessarily full picture of everything that is said or the personal dynamic between client and therapist. All of those factors make other people's opinions certainly worthy of being taken with a grain of salt. Other people handle the discussions about their own therapy okay without it seeming to create issues for them.

I was not one to share details about my own sessions here on PC because there just is no real way to convey it all in a post.

Know thyself.

I think for some that's good advice for them.

No - though when I was in therapy I was a lurker and not much of a poster.

I did print one thread many years ago and brought it to a session. The thread was started by a poster who had a lot of drama going on with her therapist and she felt damaged by her therapist’s angry and dysfunctional comments through their rupture. The thread was heartbreaking to read and printed like a novel because so many people came to the support of the OP. My therapist was extremely offended that I saw so many similarities between herself and the OP’s therapist and made disparaging remarks about both this forum and the people that post here. I can laugh after the fact but was pretty scared by her reaction at the time.

[Lonelyinmyheart]

I dont feel the need to tell T I visit here. I used to come years ago when I was seeing a different t and i never mentioned the fact to t, i just privately sought opinions from the site when i felt the need for them.

[velcro003]

I have no idea what my T would think of PC as I have never told her, and do not ever plan on it.

[divine1966]

Originally Posted by InnerPeace111

I’m like divine1966 in that I would never bring up any of my online activities in therapy. It just wouldn’t be happening as I would not want my T’s opinion or comments about it. Not that she would say anything. But I wouldn’t take my chances.

For me it’s not like I don’t want my t to express her opinion (not like she would), but just that what I do online is of no relevance to what I talk in therapy about. I think that maybe if online activities upset me or cause me problems, I’d discuss with her. But simply informing her that I am reading stuff on online forums just doesn’t seem to be of any importance.

But I imagine for some people participating on PC might cause them some disturbance. Some people come across agitated about certain topics so if participation in online forum contributes to that, then maybe taking a break isn’t a bad idea. Some people are very disturbed by Facebook or what they read online, not just PC. So taking time off has some value

So I think it depends

[sophiebunny]

I think their objections are that I get so entwined with other people's struggles that I diminish my own issues. My therapist calls it my "group therapy syndrome". It happens when I become sensitized to all the struggles in my therapy group and shut down because I believe I have nothing worth saying. I eventually had to drop out of group because I'd go home after each session and cry hysterically. It started to happen with PC. The two of them recommended I stop posting and reading. It's been about 2 months. I'm putting my toe back in the water. I'm looking to cure "group therapy syndrome".

Some groups I need to stay away from. Psychotherapy is my favorite group. I'll hang out here and see how I do.

[susannahsays]

Ok, you said they were concerned you might get hurt in the process of sharing about your complex psychiatric history. But it sounds more like they are worried you might get hurt hearing about other people's stories, and that is based on what has already happened.

[divine1966]

If reading on here caused you similar reaction as reactions you had after group therapy, then I think your treatment team might be right that’s wise to at least take breaks. You can try to reengage again and see how it goes?

[BudFox]

I found therapy isolating and disorienting. And you are urged to keep everything a secret. Nothing leaves the room. I think that is dangerous as hell. Felt like i'd joined a cult.

When therapy turned destructive thank god I found some people online who were also questioning the whole thing. Staying in that isolated alternate universe without external reality checks would have been a disaster.

I would not let a professional dictate how I live my life, and would consider it a red flag if they tried.