[MissCharlotte]

My relationship with T has grown by leaps and bounds. And with that growth has come respect, trust and love.

Yesterday I called him. I was in lousy shape and needed to talk. He didn't call back and finally I fell asleep.

When I woke up this morning and realized he hadn't returned my call I was not angry. I trusted that there was a reason. (This is a first for me.)

When we finally connected today he explained that he had switched service providers and didn't get my message until very late. He apologized profusely and I told him I was not angry, that "%#@&#! happens."

We had a discussion about my sadness, self-attack (cutting), the need to release deep emotion and the need to recontextualize those things that change in life that we cannot control.

We talked about self-care with a sense of purpose. I was quiet and thoughtful and then said, "Okay I can do this. I'll see you next week."

I truly feel a partnership--an alliance with T. He is with me. I am safe with him. This has been a long time in the making.

Thats so wonderful, sister!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Thats definately another growth step.

[sunrise]

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sister said:
When I woke up this morning and realized he hadn't returned my call I was not angry. I trusted that there was a reason. (This is a first for me.)

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">sister, that is awesome. It sounds like you are "growing up"!

Sounds like a milestone experience. I think all of your trust, love, and respect are allowing you to respond to your T, adult to adult. It's becoming a mature relationship. How rewarding for both of you.

[Hopefull]

Way to go!

Sister,
That is great news! I'm so happy that you and T have such a good relationship!

[MissCharlotte]

Thanks all for your responses.

Sunny said:

</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
sister, that is awesome. It sounds like you are "growing up"
Sounds like a milestone experience. I think all of your trust, love, and respect are allowing you to respond to your T, adult to adult. It's becoming a mature relationship. How rewarding for both of you.

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">

I have been thinking about this all week and here's what I came to:

I don't think it quite means I am growing up. I have always had an adult relationship with T and we have shared many adult conversations. (After all it is the adult who pays the bill.)

What I believe is that the child in me is more secure now in the relationship with T. She is achieving object constancy in a way she could not before. This is a direct result of his responsiveness over the course of the past year. I now trust that he will be there. It's that simple. Yes, it is a milestone - thanks - and it is rewarding, but not necessarily because it is adult to adult.

Now I have to take my adult self to the doctor and my whole self to T--see you all later...