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#1
Dec 22, 2007, 12:32 AM
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My 1 year old sons father is in prison and gets out in October of 08. He has a long criminal record and 12 year cocaine addiction. I am afraid of him. He came over to my place one night and starting yelling and banging at my door for money to pay his dealer. He has a bad temper, and I have always been afraid of what he might do. I have told him that he scares me and he just tells me that I am lying. I became extremely depressed and had panic attacks everytime I went home. The depression lead to alcohol abuse and bulimia. I am seeing the counselor at my college but it is not enough (especially now that I am on break). I NEED to be strong by the time he gets out, I need to be able to mentally handle all the bs I know he is going to put me through. I cannot break down again. Ineed to be able to take care of my son and finish my degree. Where can I go? What do I do? I have off for a while, and I will dedicate 24 hrs/day if I have to.
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#2
Dec 22, 2007, 10:28 AM
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Is there a women's resource center or shelter in your area? They would likely have a lot of good information on how to protect yourself and son. It sounds to me like you have good reason to be fearful. Have you talked with the counselor about his impending release? Maybe he/she could help you prepare for his release both legally and mentally. How far along are you in getting your degree?
__________________
"Joy is your sole's knowledge that if you don't get the promotion, keep the relationship, or buy the house, it's because you weren't meant to.You're meant to have something better, something richer, something deeper, Something More." (Sara Ban Breathnach) |
 missbella
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#3
Dec 22, 2007, 11:37 AM
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I have next year and then a year of practicums. I did talk to my counselor about his release, but I don't feel like we are getting anywhere. I think that there is a womans shelter, but I thought that they were for abused women.
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#4
Dec 22, 2007, 11:41 AM
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Maybe you could look at resources such as "battered womens" or similar. Your mental health agency should be able to put you in the right direction. They have many resources and understand what you are going through. I am sorry that you and your son are having to go through this. Please take care to keep you and your son safe.
BB
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| missbella
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#6
Dec 22, 2007, 12:14 PM
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Verbally abusing and threatening you is enough. Can you get a restraining order? It is good you are trying to deal with this now instead of after he becomes physically violent.
__________________
You don't have to fly straight...  ...just keep it between the lines!
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| missbella
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#7
Dec 22, 2007, 12:15 PM
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There are different types of abuse. You may want to call them and tell them your situation. They are very kind people and will help you. It sounds like banging on your door and threatening you is a violent act. It may be worth it to find out what they tell you. It is only a phone call and can be anonymous.
BB
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#8
Dec 22, 2007, 12:17 PM
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I have no idea about a restraining order. We went to court for custody, but since we could not do mediation due to his incarceration, I have temporary sole custody. When he gets out he has supervised visits, and he told me and my lawyer that I had to supervise the visits because otherwise he would feel uncomfortable. Do I have to go to court to get a restraining order? Can I get it right before he gets out? There is so much that I don't know how to handle.
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#9
Dec 22, 2007, 12:31 PM
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Now's the time to change the supervised visitation, which is another way he is controlling you. I can't imagine that you would feel comfortable doing that and you don't need to. Part of his learning to live with reality is not getting his way and doing what's necessary, in this case having someone he doesn't know supervise his visitation.
Have you contacted your lawyer to talk about your fears of his being released and harassing you and threatening you like he has before? Your son needs to be kept safe too. I hope you will let your cousellor know you need more help with this. I am so sorry you have this worry for you and your son's safety. |
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#10
Dec 22, 2007, 12:37 PM
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My lawyer was a non profit, and after the last court date he is not my lawyer anymore. If I want to hire him then I have to pay, but my school is 20,000 a year so I have no extras money. I absolutely refuse to supervise the visits. I don't have anyone to do it for me though. If worse comes to worse my mom will do it, but I'd rather she was not involved. I know that they have centers that do this, but isn't it for only a short time and then they believe the visits should be unsupervised. I honestly don't think that he will ever have unsupervised visits.
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