"Trust the process"

Has your therapist ever said this to you? What does it even mean?

My DBT therapist said that last week and I just saw someone in another thread say that their psychodynamic therapist said it. I can't imagine two more different types of therapy than DBT and psychodynamic therapy. So those must be two different processes we are supposed to trust. But why should/would we? I also had a professor say that to me once. Or maybe twice.

I think maybe it comes up when I ask someone a question that they don't know the answer to, but they don't want to just say "I don't know." But it annoys me.

I haven't had the heart to tell her that I have no flipping idea what it really means. I mean, I can infer from the context but it seems to be a therapy-speak thing that has a particular therapy meaning to therapists.

I just give it an internal "Okey-doke" and move on.

You don't have to and there is no reason why you should. I think it is more of a thing that therapists have to trust than clients.

The first woman told me I fought the process more than any client she had seen and that I didn't trust the process, but she never had an answer to what the eff that meant or what the process was.

I think its like cooking. You put a turkey or some tofu in the oven - you cant keep opening the oven every 5 minutes and checking how its going. That would be interrupting the process. Like that theory in physics, where observation changes the process? You gotta trust the process - leave it cook for x amount of time. Youre not the first person doing it.

Eta - the metaphor ninja strikes again!

I worry about you

I really don't know what it means either, and I certainly don't understand it. I've had T's tell me that. I've just sort of shrugged and let it go because I figure it is one of those therapy things they say to make the client feel better. I do like unaluna's cooking metaphor though.

I still believe the first one was trying to turn me into some sort of hand-holding, crying, hugging, kumbaya singing hippie

You're going to hate this but I love you stopdog.

good lord.

That was such hogwash in my case. Like walking a plank, blindfolded.

Reading through this thread and it reminded me of this.

Maybe?

No, she hasn't and it would seriously annoy me and make me question her trustworthiness if she did. I have no idea what this process that I hear being referred to is, let alone why a therapist would pressure a client to just blindly trust it because they said so. To me, that's stupid. I think it's what some therapists say to discourage clients from expressing doubts or questioning them. Why they feel the need to do this probably varies. Some probably just don't want to be bothered. Others are so insecure they can't tolerate anything they perceive as a threat to their authority. I think it is mostly just therapists not feeling like engaging with clients about something, so they tell them to "trust the process" instead.

You do most of that, just not with ts.

Dogs are people too ya know!

J/K

Eta - just make sure YOU cook the turkey. I will be over here, trusting the process!

The 'process' is what is going on in therapy, regardless of the type of therapy.

Similar to e.g. the healing process or the grieving process which signify what is happening during healing or grieving.

Nothing more than to it than that. No obscure or voodoo connotations unlike what some like to melodramatically claim.

@stopdog, hope this isnt rude.
What are you doing here?

Just curious

Thankfully my T has never said this to me. She would get a serious eye roll from me if she did.

Maybe I'm wrong here. I've made mistakes before. To me "Trust the Process": means what ever is the process in psychotherapy is to trust it However personally I would only ttp if I believed , ie agreed with the process.
"Tr

I know. Right? My therapist made that comment after she made a serious mistake. It's like a hairdresser who slips and cuts your ear and then gets offended that you are a little jumpy the next time she gets close to you with scissors.

With all my previous T it was the BS line they would throw at me when they had no flipping clue what they were doing but couldn’t admit they were over their heads.
Current T uses it too though... even has it over his door. With current T most of the meaning means trusting the relationship. He has tons of training in what is supposed to help and what does harm, I have my experience and needs... they come together in the relationship and together WE trust the healing will occur. T has totally admitted that with me especially he has to trust the process as well. T has stated repeatedly that the healing is more in the relationship than it is in any specific training or technique so I am sure that colors my experience and perspective with him.

I find it ironic considering you could put 10 therapists in a room and they would all have a different "process".

I agree. I don’t believe that therapist have a defined road map of “the process” that they know. In my opinion, I believe that is found in the individual. I believe that the process is ours and they are our guide to walk us through it.

To trust the process, to me, is trusting myself to bring to the table what needs to be there and trusting the experience of someone else to help me sort it out and heal from it.

Well. The process.
I go. I talk. A skilled other whom I've come to trust is part of this. Contains my previously u contained feelings.
Helps me make sense of what's buried deep within me.
I get a better understanding. Which gives me choices.
Trust it? In the beginning before I'd been there long enough to gain insight on what was happening, I'd not believe anything was possible.
Sometimes trust us just turning up. Let's face it. If we was shown an empty office and told to sit in there for 50mins week after week. We wouldn't. So there's a kernel of trust happening even before our conscious mind is aware of it.
It really isn't a magical term

My T has never said it , but I dislike " therapisty " comments. I'm sure it's going on in the background in some chaotic and haphazard way though. I don't buy into X , Y and Z is happening because of A , B and C like some T's do.

Mine didn't say that. One was a psychoanalyst, the other eclectic but liked psychodynamics a lot. What process? It would have annoyed me, it sounds like something to say when they have no clue themselves and want to come across like they know something important or can predict things.

If anything, my "process" was to figure out eventually that therapy was mostly useless for me. I actually trust that conclusion now.