How do you know if T is open to text

I am trying out a new therapist (again ). I've seen him for about a month now and he initiated texting with me to arrange appoint times/changes, but that has been the extent of it. He didn't say if it is ok to contact him outside of schedule changes and I didn't ask.

I was most recently using online therapy where our main form of communication was daily texting and I could text whenever I wanted without worrying about the time or pressuring him, he would just respond whenever he worked next.

Switching back to 1 hour a week has felt strange and I'm starting to think of things I want to say to my T out of session and possibly feel like I want just a little reassurance.

Would you just ask what his policy is? Or would you just text and see what happens? I don't want to make it awkward! I'm kind of scared to bring it up because not asking for things is one of my chronic problems... I'm definitely the person who will suffer through 1 hour of painful massage rather than just say "hey can you not touch me right there?"

I would ask. I don't think there is anything awkward about it. The T might ask back why you are inquiring - you could just say the truth, that sometimes you feel it would be good to reach out outside of session (or whatever you wish from the texting). I think it's pretty natural and very common, what's actually weird IMO is discussing all that personal stuff and forcing it into strict time and space compartments.

I would also ask. In fact, if not asking for things is one of your problems, you could see this as an opportunity to ask for what you want, see how he will react, see how that feels to you, and discuss that with him.
I did the same recently, a new T proposed a time for our intake session, and scheduled 3 hours for it. I asked her if that could be shorter, because otherwise I wouldn't be able to get my work done that day. I was happy I asked since I normally think of reasons why the other person would be angry/annoyed that I would even have the audacity to ask X, so that was one step forward to me. Also, she said yes and we scheduled a shorter meeting! I would change stuff about HOW I asked, but that's for the next time. Progress to me .

The safest context you can try out new stuff is with a therapist. Perhaps you can also see this as an opportunity to try out the things that are currently hard for you.

Definitely ask. I've been practicing with L for what I need. It's hard, but worth it.

Can I pay one of you guys to ask for me? LOL I'm such a wimp

I would try to get up the courage to ask. My T encourages communication when ever a client needs... but most of his clients aren’t quite as needy as I am. We had talked about him preferring phone contact (I HATE) but that email was OK. A few months in he VERY uncomfortably brought up the emails and how he didn’t want to be punitive but that he couldn’t keep up. We had a really good discussion and I can still email as needed but he knows that unless I specifically ask then he doesn’t need to feel pressured to respond. But... part of my point in sharing is that it was just as uncomfortable for him to bring it up as it would have been for me to bring it up. T’s are human even if they don’t like to admit it.

I vote for asking openly. He's your therapist, speaking freely is part of the therapy.
Go

You can't know without asking. It's absolutely okay to ask. If your T is worth his salt, he will be kind in whatever response he gives. Hopefully you can figure some boundaries out together.

I would ask. You could just say, "What's your policy on outside contact?" Or "I thought about texting you the other day, but wasn't sure if it was allowed?" For my T, he allows emails (and will always respond), but texting is only for scheduling. But it varies by T, from not allowing any outside contact besides for scheduling, to allowing some forms or within certain time frames, to allowing any form (email, text, phone call) at any time (my ex-marriage counselor was like this, but didn't necessarily respond right away).

Ideally, you could ask in your session. That being said O have never done so. With T during a really difficult and painful appointnent she offered for me to contact if I needed to in between sessions. Email worked best for me and worked fine with her. She didn't do text with anybody including family.

Early on with Emdr T, also early on, I was having a really hard time after an appointment with her and T encouraged me to contact her. So I emailed Emdr T and said something like I didnt know what her preferred form of communication between appointments where but I was really struggling. She emailed me back a couple of days later telling me that she doesnt check emails on a regular basis and also didn't like that email was not very secure. She asked if she could call me. She doesnt mind emails for me to make contact but if I need support she will call me back. She does text appointments reminders.

I can think of 3 ways:
1. You ask them
2. They tell you or they have it written on some paperwork
3. You try it and see their reaction.