How Do I Get the Truth?

I know a lot of people on this forum prefer the gentle, validating, warm and fuzzy approach from their T but I am on the opposite end of this spectrum. My main goal in therapy is to get better as quickly as possible. I know I have a lot of issues and it has already been 3 years and progress has been so slow even though my T is very progress oriented and does not allow idle chit chat or complaining about my life issues of the week. Even with that, I still know he tries to be gentle and not push me to fast past my comfort zone. He always says with DID it is impossible to go too slow but very easy to go too fast.

I also know that I irritate him sometimes with certain things I say or do. He is not good at hiding it. I guess what I am getting at is that I want to approach him next week and tell him to stop the "therapist niceties" and just tell me the way it is. I want him to be honest with me and push me into what I need to do to get better as quickly as possible. I also know some things he might say will piss me off but I am willing to take it in order to get better faster. No one in my life has ever treated me with kid gloves so there is no reason to start now.

Any ideas or comments on how to best approach this request with success? I have asked him in the past to be mean to me because my head rejects niceness and he said he would not do that because 1) it would not be ethical and 2) he would be afraid of pushing to far and causing more harm.. I guess my current request is a step down from the last one. I just want him to be honest with me and tell me when I am doing something stupid or be straight forward about what I need to change or work harder on.