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  #1  
Old Jan 09, 2020, 05:06 AM
KLL85 KLL85 is offline
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So after terminating with my old T last week, I’m beginning to think about looking for a new one. I’m going to have a break for a few weeks but I really think I am going to need some support in moving on from old T as well as continuing to work through the issues that brought me to therapy in the first place.
So I’m thinking of questions to ask potential new Ts to find out more about whether they are a good therapist and would be a good match for me.
So far I have:
Why did you become a T?
How long have you been a T?
Do you receive regular supervision?
Do you have any feedback from old clients you would be willing to share?
What are you policies on in between sessions contact?
Do you have much experience in dealing with clients that suffer with constant suicidal ideation?

So putting it out to you guys, what other questions would you ask a new potential therapist?
Hugs from:
Blueberry21, LonesomeTonight, SlumberKitty
Thanks for this!
Blueberry21, katnap

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  #2  
Old Jan 09, 2020, 09:13 AM
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precaryous precaryous is offline
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▫️What is your therapy style, psychodynamic, CBT, humanistic, (other), a mix?
▫️Do you view your therapy style as short term, open ended, solution focused, trauma focused?
▫️How much do you charge?
▫️Do you accept my insurance?
▫️What licenses and certifications do you have?
▫️How many clients have you had with similar circumstances to my own?
▫️What are your areas of expertise?
▫️Is your license active and in good standing?
▫️What types of treatments do you use?
▫️How many years have you been seeing clients?
▫️What are your hours? Do you have someone on-call when you are away from the office?

I always search their medical license online to see that it’s active and has no disciplines against it. I also want to know if they have malpractice insurance (some therapists don’t) but that might not be the best question to ask at your first meeting. I also search for online reviews from other clients.
Thanks for this!
KLL85, LonesomeTonight
  #3  
Old Jan 09, 2020, 11:28 AM
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SlumberKitty SlumberKitty is offline
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After giving the T a brief summary of whatever is going on/or ongoing concerns: do you think you can help me?
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Thanks for this!
LonesomeTonight, precaryous
  #4  
Old Jan 09, 2020, 11:28 AM
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SlumberKitty SlumberKitty is offline
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PS Best of luck in your search! HUGS Kit
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  #5  
Old Jan 09, 2020, 11:46 AM
stopdog stopdog is offline
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I only asked about their age (wanted someone older than I am) and whether they had endured therapy. I don't think most questions will help in finding one - I think those people lie and are a lot more willing to try and convince a client they will be useful than I found them to be.
It is a fairly common topic that is written about. For example:

6 Questions Everyone Should Ask Their Therapist

10 questions to ask when choosing a therapist - Harvard Health

9 Questions To Ask A Therapist During Your First Session Together | Betterhelp

5 Questions to Ask Your Therapist | Psychology Today

10 Questions to Ask a Psychiatrist or Therapist - dummies
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Well Behaved Women Seldom Make History - Laurel Thatcher Ulrich
Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional.
Thanks for this!
katnap, LonesomeTonight
  #6  
Old Jan 09, 2020, 11:49 AM
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LonesomeTonight LonesomeTonight is online now
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So, this is something I asked potential T's when I briefly terminated with my current T in September that seems like it would be relevant in your case:

Would you feel comfortable discussing what happened with my former T and helping me process the termination?

And if you'd rather not disclose your T's name to them, ask if they'd be OK with that. If you do plan on mentioning your former T's name, you may want to find out if a potential T knows that T personally and/or professionally and if they'd feel comfortable discussing stuff that happened with them in your therapy. (I learned that current T used to work with ex-MC and ex-T and, though I originally wasn't going to mention ex-MC's name, realized that if I talked about a particular thing--his wife passing away--current T might know who I meant. So I did end up telling him his name and asked if he'd feel OK discussing stuff about him.)

I've also asked if a T felt comfortable and/or had experience/training in dealing with transference, as that's something that's happened for me.

Note: Regarding the question of "Why did you become a T?" I still haven't gotten my current T to answer that, so don't get too hung up on that question if they don't want to tell you or give some vague answer like "I like helping people."
  #7  
Old Jan 09, 2020, 12:33 PM
ArtleyWilkins ArtleyWilkins is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by LonesomeTonight View Post
Note: Regarding the question of "Why did you become a T?" I still haven't gotten my current T to answer that, so don't get too hung up on that question if they don't want to tell you or give some vague answer like "I like helping people."
Really? That's interesting. I found my therapists answers to that absolutely fascinating -- and none of them gave the simple "I like helping people" answer. They were rather cool stories actually.
Thanks for this!
LonesomeTonight
  #8  
Old Jan 09, 2020, 01:05 PM
maybeblue maybeblue is offline
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I see therapy as a balance between validation and change. Most therapists fall slightly more on one side than the other, where do you think that you are most comfortable?

Sometimes I find myself getting very angry in therapy. How do you usually work with client anger, especially if it is directed toward you? I have twice had to clarify that I was not talking about being abusive to the therapist, which I am not, but I do get angry/frustrated/annoyed/ when they say something that hurts my feelings and a therapist who can't handle a client saying "I feel angry about what you just said," isn't helpful to me.

Have you ever found yourself getting angry at a client? What types of things could a client do that will make you angry and how do you handle it when it does? I'm pretty sure that all of my therapists have gotten annoyed at me from time to time, but most of them won't admit it.
Thanks for this!
LonesomeTonight
  #9  
Old Jan 09, 2020, 02:08 PM
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LonesomeTonight LonesomeTonight is online now
Always in This Twilight
 
Member Since: Feb 2015
Location: US
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ArtleyWilkins View Post
Really? That's interesting. I found my therapists answers to that absolutely fascinating -- and none of them gave the simple "I like helping people" answer. They were rather cool stories actually.
I brought it up again today and said I wondered if he was concerned about how I’d react to his answer. He said yes, that he thinks a lot about how I might react to things like that. How he doesn’t want me to feel I have to “take care of him.” He knows how much I think about therapy and about my history with therapists. There’s stuff with him that can be really frustrating, things he won’t share. But his explanation (this and other things), where he’s concerned about how it might affect me and what I feel comfortable sharing, that shows he’s trying to be a good therapist for me. (And not repeat the mistakes of some of mine from the past.) of course, I still wish he’d share more!
  #10  
Old Jan 09, 2020, 02:29 PM
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precaryous precaryous is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by maybeblue View Post
I see therapy as a balance between validation and change. Most therapists fall slightly more on one side than the other, where do you think that you are most comfortable?

Sometimes I find myself getting very angry in therapy. How do you usually work with client anger, especially if it is directed toward you? I have twice had to clarify that I was not talking about being abusive to the therapist, which I am not, but I do get angry/frustrated/annoyed/ when they say something that hurts my feelings and a therapist who can't handle a client saying "I feel angry about what you just said," isn't helpful to me.

Have you ever found yourself getting angry at a client? What types of things could a client do that will make you angry and how do you handle it when it does? I'm pretty sure that all of my therapists have gotten annoyed at me from time to time, but most of them won't admit it.
Oh yes, good questions!
That reminds me of more questions I asked-

Have you ever terminated a client?
Why?
What situations/ issues would likely cause you to terminate (me) a client?
Thanks for this!
LonesomeTonight
  #11  
Old Jan 09, 2020, 04:46 PM
KLL85 KLL85 is offline
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Member Since: Aug 2019
Location: The World
Posts: 278
These are all really helpful, thank you so much. I’m so scared of attempting to find someone new so really want to do my best to find a T that is going to be good for me.
Hugs from:
LonesomeTonight, precaryous, SlumberKitty
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