What has your T done that made you feel special?

Hi everyone,

Quick question to bring a bit of positivity with therapy and relationship with T : what is the thing that your T has done that made you feel special? Like something you know they wouldn't do (or even say) with just any client? I'm just really curious

I know this isn't really what you're looking for exactly, because she technically wasn't my therapist but the owner of a group home I lived in. But she is a clinical psychologist. Anyway, we developed a personal relationship (I do not mean romantic!) that by the strict code of ethics, was not ethical. My social worker actually reported her to the board, but I think it was dismissed or maybe she was cautioned or something. Anyway, we continued to have a personal relationship and are still in touch. I actually worked for her 3 years after I was in the group home when she had closed that down and started her own community mental health agency. Worked there for 8 years as her assistant and learned a lot.

She did not have relationships like this with other clients.

As for the therapist I see, I do not believe I am special to her. I don't think she does anything for me that she would not do for another client. The only thing that might fall slightly into this category is that she "tolerates" me texting her, even though she said it's not something she usually does with clients (she said this in a way that insinuated texting is not something she ever does with clients apart from scheduling). However, thinking about that does not make me feel special, it makes me feel ashamed and needy. I don't think she tolerates it because I am special among her clients or anything.

I have no way of knowing what my therapists may or may not have done for their other clients, nor do I really care. I honestly didn't give other clients much thought.

I know my own therapy experience and what my therapists did that helped me feel special. Not special in "my therapist cares MORE about me than others" so much as "what my therapist did for me in this situation was special to me because it helped."

The list is actually rather long. I had attentive and supportive therapists who helped me feel safe and like I mattered. While I know I can tell some stories of specific incidents, it really is more a matter that the consistency of safety and relevance helped me feel that I mattered. The specific events weren't really that surprising because, even though maybe what they did was a bit out of the norm, their actions were completely congruent with their character and previous actions.

My T does a lot of “above and beyond” stuff for me, some of which I know he does for some other clients but not all his clients. The single most important thing he does that makes me feel special is when he says that our time together today went too fast.

With Pastor T: he had me call him so he could pray for me before a medical procedure and then had me call him afterward. That seemed above and beyond. Nothing really with Regular T. With former T lots of little stuff....like letting me have a voicemail to listen to while she was out of country, or just like Artley was saying, the consistency. Just normal every day things but she was consistent in her care. I miss her. HUGS Kit

With long term T there was A LOT that she did that would be considered a dual relationship and some that if I had reported could have been an issue for her. Nothing that in any way harmed me. We had just worked together for so long that our relationship in some ways went beyond therapy.

I suspect she had pretty loose boundaries with many of her long term clients but I have no idea if things she did for me she did for others.

With Emdr T I have a very different relationship than I did with T. I dont feel special but I do feel cared for and about. I don't really care if she or even T thought I was special and gave special treatment to.

Absolutely nothing.

I'm glad of that though. I hope I'm treated equal to all her clients. I think I would feel uncomfortable if I had any reason to believe that my t was doing more for me than other clients. I might even feel it was creepy but that's just me

I am not special.

Mine does a lot because she wants me to feel special. When she moved away, i was one of very few clients she kept. She also gave me her cat when she moved. I also help her with some stuff. When she comes home to visit she always makes time for me. And i flew to visit her once. And i am flying out to visit her again this winter. She and i are going to take a road trip together. We are both really excited.

A lot of things: gifts/transitional objects, emails, playing a game with me, phone calls, saying she loves me, hugs, accepting my gifts, letting me keep something I gave her in the room, etc. Probably the most special thing besides loving me is the non-Christmas gift she made for me. She even tells me I'm special to her. I don't know what she does or doesn't do with other clients, but I do feel special to her and that's all that matters.

Mine says every client is special and unique in their own ways, including me.

Things she's done for others and not me:
I felt very envious when she initiated a phone call to another client, because she's never done that with me. I am acquaintances with that client, who told me about it.

I was also envious when she sometimes scheduled special, not during regular clinic hours, 30 minute appointments with certain clients. I'd ran into them as I was the first appointment of the day during regular clinic hours. She didn't feel that would be useful for me.

Things that multiple clients get:
> A small gift like a card, as a transitional object
> Email to ask for a phone call.
> Email for some encouraging words.
> Asking her to write a note in the client's notebook or on paper (possibly multiple clients)
> Her writing official reports for school etc (Not me, because I'm not schooling anymore)

Things I think only a few clients do:
> Text her. She reads though she won't reply
> Give her printed journals to read (Perhaps only me?)

She once said I was currently her most "connection seeking" client. I guess that meant I'm the neediness one?

Ouch, QM.

She does and says a whole load of stuff with which I am uncomfortable and which feels like a boundary concern. She insists that these boundary extensions are fine, but being told I am "special" is a very loaded experience for me because of the corrosive connotation of abuse/grooming.

Quite a few things but don't really want to share as they are so personal. It has always been ethical, boundaried, but genuine and I feel special in that I'm cared about and the relationship with me matters to her.

I had a previous T text me out of the blue on Christmas day to say she was thinking of me and that meant so much.

I don't know what my T does or does not do with other clients, and I really don't care. I'd hope that he's as supportive with them as he is with me. Things that he has done to make me feel especially supported are: he emails me back (even when he is away internationally) although he initially said he does not do email. I try not to email so generally don't email more than twice a month. He has done video sessions when away on a longer vacation when I was struggling.

Nothing I can think of. For me, I don't think it would have been possible to feel special over some stranger like the therapist doing or not doing something. It is a baffling notion to me.

When my book was published, T told me she she was proud of me. That made me feel special.

She’ll sometimes justify my anxiety. Like on Friday when that weird therapist called me. She said “I’d have been freaked out too.”

Like others, I don’t know how she is or what she does with other clients. But a few years ago, she significantly lowered her rate for me and rearranged her schedule to accommodate me. That felt pretty special.

After my rough appointment last week and the subsequent phone call about it I was afraid she would be different today..maybe upset or something.

She was different but in a good way. She was more open about herself and some of what she said made me to understand where she is coming from. I don't know I'd she is normally that open with all clients

My T doesn't do anything for me other than the standard therapy hour, and she seems to have pretty water-tight boundaries in general so I feel confident in saying she doesn't really do "special" things for clients (and especially not to make them feel special).
What she does do is be ultra consistent both from session to session and also within each session, which is really special to me. I haven't experienced that before (probably not many people have) and I really value it.

Although my therapy was always conducted in a professional way, I felt we had a special relationship. And that we were special to each other. By this I don't mean I was any better than anyone else, just that there was a specific personal bond between us that was beyond professional. My therapy was very powerful and healing experience.

This is exactly how I feel about mine. I couldn't have worded it better. Thank you.

She has created a safe place for me to open up to her and trust her. She has made it possible for me to feel like therapy is a great benifit in my life. With her boundaries i can call her on a tough day and i see her every 3 weeks on a day that works for both of us. Truly this is always what i had hope for. After years of very rigid therapy.

T has told me one thing that he's said he hadn't at that point shared with any other clients, but I don't think he'd necessarily never tell anyone else. Other than that, I'd say he probably is more open in general with client's that he's been seeing for a longer time, so I might count myself to a 'special' group of people that know him a bit better than people who only just started seeing him a bit ago.