[Lemoncake]

Welcome to the couch, old and new! A place to hang out - sometimes you get immediate feedback, sometimes you don't.

Shouting, "Cool Whip" tends to bring others out from between the cushions if you're feeling lonely.

This is a chatty thread. All are welcome. We're kind of psychologically oriented, sometimes. We try to be supportive. At times we discuss what that means.

It’s a place to plop down on the couch when you come home from work or wherever, or wake up in the middle of the night, or check in at lunch, rant a bit or not, and be among friends.

We advise you not to drink or drug and text your therapist ("T") - we speak from experience.

Sometimes the thread moves fast and you might get overlooked; sometimes it moves slowly and all you hear are crickets. Sometimes you get hugged or thanked pages later. So if it's a bigger question, you might want to start a new thread.

Grab a cushion, a spot on the floor, or an armchair in the corner and make yourselves comfy.

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[Lemoncake]

Originally Posted by atisketatasket

Dinner snafu got worse. Dinner list included a local teacher (very big in the community) who was not given the information about the change of venue. So at 6 she went to the old venue, who had a reservation for us at 6:45 pm (secretary did not cancel it). Meanwhile the rest of us are at new venue. I finally checked my email after she’d been waiting at the old venue for 40 minutes and she was able to come to the new venue. She tried to be nice about it but was clearly pissed (as who wouldn’t be?).

School boy errors.

I hope you were able to enjoy yourself a teeny bit.

[Lemoncake]

Originally Posted by ArtieTheSequal

Here's my most recent little painting, still using the little 4x6 canvases from the dollar store. Playing with monochrome. Let's see if I remember how to add an attachment.

Oooo I love it!

It's something I would actually buy.

[ElectricManatee]

chihiro, that's so exciting! What is he like? Does he work in the same hospital? Does he want exactly the same number of children as you?! (Wait, maybe don't discuss that in the first week...) I think a doctor/nurse match can be good since then you both understand the odd scheduling demands of medical careers.

[ElectricManatee]

Kit, I'm dying of curiosity: what was the gift you mentioned in the Dear T thread? Obviously you don't have to tell me, but now I'm thinking of all sorts of things it could be...

[ElectricManatee]

Lost, have you thought about trying EMDR or one of those other body-based trauma treatments? I keep reading and listening to things about how helpful they can be. It must be so hard to get stuck in those loops of memories and anniversaries and not be able to cope as well as you probably want to...

[SlumberKitty]

Originally Posted by ElectricManatee

Kit, I'm dying of curiosity: what was the gift you mentioned in the Dear T thread? Obviously you don't have to tell me, but now I'm thinking of all sorts of things it could be...

@ElectricManatee it was some bath bombs that someone in her family had given her but she does not take baths due to some related trauma, but she knows that I do, now and again, because it's part of my self care tool kit. So she regifted the gift to me but it seems oddly personal. So, I was like, um, thank you.....but inside I was like, uh, this is weird. And random because she's never given me anything before and the only things I have given her are Christmas and Thanksgiving cards, and the Thanksgiving one was because I saw her the day before the holiday. So, weird, and random, in my opinion, at least that is how it felt to me. Thoughts couchies?

[SlumberKitty]

Thanks for the new couch @Lemoncake Vanilla is one of my favorite scents. And Japanese Cherry Blossom from Bath and Body Works, and Lavender.

[SheHulk07]

We had my 12 year old son's reevaluation for his IEP yesterday. He's in a new school district this year, so they did a complete evaluation on him. At his prior district, he qualified for an IEP for Other health impairment based on his ADHD.This school is saying that while he may not have an official diagnosis for autism right now, that he qualifies for an IEP for those with autism based on his symptoms. They were saying that autism explains more of his behavior than solely ADHD. He was evaluated back when he was in 1st grade for autism but they said it was just ADHD and oppositional defiant and wasn't medicated for ADHD. I'm actually really happy even though it's not an official diagnosis, but hoping it's a step in the right direction of getting all the support he needs.

[SlumberKitty]

@SheHulk07 as someone who had an IEP going through school, I can tell you that it is really helpful. And since they are doing the IEP based on the symptoms of autism, that sounds great for your son. Hopefully he gets the support that he deserves at this school.

[LonesomeTonight]

Originally Posted by SheHulk07

We had my 12 year old son's reevaluation for his IEP yesterday. He's in a new school district this year, so they did a complete evaluation on him. At his prior district, he qualified for an IEP for Other health impairment based on his ADHD.This school is saying that while he may not have an official diagnosis for autism right now, that he qualifies for an IEP for those with autism based on his symptoms. They were saying that autism explains more of his behavior than solely ADHD. He was evaluated back when he was in 1st grade for autism but they said it was just ADHD and oppositional defiant and wasn't medicated for ADHD. I'm actually really happy even though it's not an official diagnosis, but hoping it's a step in the right direction of getting all the support he needs.

That seems like a good thing--from my understanding, they usually offer more services for autism than ADHD. My D originally had developmental delay (specifically language) on her IEP, even though she had an outside autism diagnosis. We had the school evaluate her again 3 years ago, and they put autism on there (which is good, because I think, at least in my county, they age out of developmental delay services at maybe 10 or so). The more services you can get, the better. Though I know it can be really difficult to hear the autism diagnosis as well...

[unaluna]

Originally Posted by Lemoncake

Oooo I love it!
It's something I would actually buy.

Thats exactly what i thought! Maybe she will give it to us for a wedding present, hint hint!

ALSO, thank you for not naming this couch after Gwyneth's new candle. Nobody knows how to pronounce "bergamot"!

[chihirochild]

Originally Posted by ElectricManatee

chihiro, that's so exciting! What is he like? Does he work in the same hospital? Does he want exactly the same number of children as you?! (Wait, maybe don't discuss that in the first week...) I think a doctor/nurse match can be good since then you both understand the odd scheduling demands of medical careers.

I’m excited too! He works at a different hospital, thank goodness. And he really does “get it” — he understands the research I do, and he works nights so he also understands the crazy schedule.

Cross your fingers for me!

[SheHulk07]

Originally Posted by SlumberKitty

@SheHulk07 as someone who had an IEP going through school, I can tell you that it is really helpful. And since they are doing the IEP based on the symptoms of autism, that sounds great for your son. Hopefully he gets the support that he deserves at this school.

Thanks @SlumberKitty. He's had an IEP since kindergarten and is in 6th grade now. It's just been based on his ADHD symptoms which are mostly controlled with his meds.

[SheHulk07]

Originally Posted by LonesomeTonight

That seems like a good thing--from my understanding, they usually offer more services for autism than ADHD. My D originally had developmental delay (specifically language) on her IEP, even though she had an outside autism diagnosis. We had the school evaluate her again 3 years ago, and they put autism on there (which is good, because I think, at least in my county, they age out of developmental delay services at maybe 10 or so). The more services you can get, the better. Though I know it can be really difficult to hear the autism diagnosis as well...

I've always thought he could potentially be on the spectrum for autism, so it was more of a relief to hear them say it. While they didn't say it was an official diagnosis, I'm glad they're seeing the same things we do and agree that it's not solely ADHD.

[ElectricManatee]

Originally Posted by SlumberKitty

@ElectricManatee it was some bath bombs that someone in her family had given her but she does not take baths due to some related trauma, but she knows that I do, now and again, because it's part of my self care tool kit. So she regifted the gift to me but it seems oddly personal. So, I was like, um, thank you.....but inside I was like, uh, this is weird. And random because she's never given me anything before and the only things I have given her are Christmas and Thanksgiving cards, and the Thanksgiving one was because I saw her the day before the holiday. So, weird, and random, in my opinion, at least that is how it felt to me. Thoughts couchies?

That does seem like a lot of information (especially the trauma part), and the gift itself seems somewhat out of place in a therapeutic relationship. So yeah, I'd probably be slightly weirded out in your situation.

[SlumberKitty]

Originally Posted by ElectricManatee

That does seem like a lot of information (especially the trauma part), and the gift itself seems somewhat out of place in a therapeutic relationship. So yeah, I'd probably be slightly weirded out in your situation.

Good! Glad it's not just me. Weird thing is, because it is kind of weird, I'll probably never use them. But maybe it is the thought that counts? IDK. I haven't decided yet, so they are in my room in the I don't know what to do with this pile, as I am in the middle of spring cleaning.

[ArtieTheSequal]

Originally Posted by stopdog

Hey Art - I will be in AZ in a few weeks in April at ASU - I am staying a bit out from it - I forget where you are - but thought I would ask if you know of any good rather shortish trails (I have to be at the univ every day) in that area.

In the Phoenix area, off the top of my head I'd have to say Papago Park. It's near the zoo if I remember right. There's some neat rock formations there and some short trails. Depending on how much time you have, Piestawa Peak, I haven't hiked up that one yet but have heard it's beautiful and that it takes 2+ hours to get to the top. There's lots of places to hike around the greater Phoenix area. I'll think some more on it. (I live farther south but have stopped in the Phoenix area to hike while on my way someplace north).

[ArtieTheSequal]

Originally Posted by unaluna

Thats exactly what i thought! Maybe she will give it to us for a wedding present, hint hint!

ALSO, thank you for not naming this couch after Gwyneth's new candle. Nobody knows how to pronounce "bergamot"!

Y'all aren't married yet?!

[ArtieTheSequal]

Originally Posted by Lemoncake

Oooo I love it!

It's something I would actually buy.

Thanks! I did 2 for my mom and 2 for my sister that are similar, in their color choices. My mom's in colors that match a stained glass window my Dad made many years ago, and she has them hanging on the wall by the window. I kinda like that, my art hanging next to some of my Dad's.


One of these days I will branch out to bigger canvases maybe; these are barely bigger than my cell phone.

[LonesomeTonight]

Seeing the new backup T, "A," in a little over an hour and kind of nervous and regretting it now. I'm not entirely sure what to talk about. I really wish the previous backup I saw, R, hadn't sold out to just see business executive clients... Dr. T even asked if she'd see me as a special favor to him, but she declined. His other usual backup is P, but D sees her now, so it would have been kind of a dual relationship (P agreed with this, and said she was sorry she couldn't act as a backup for me individually--which I suppose is a sign of good boundaries on her part!)


Just afraid I'll go in there and we'll just sit there looking awkwardly at each other. I don't get the sense Dr. T knows her too well as a T (she just rents space from him), as he didn't characterize her at all to me. I even had to track down her email address on my own. Me: "How should I get in touch with her?" Dr. T: "Email I guess?" Me: "Do you have her email address?" He kinda shrugged and said, "She probably has a website." Me: "Probably?" Meanwhile, with the other two backups (I didn't use P, but he'd given me her name), he'd given me the business card of one and wrote the contact info of the other on the back. So, we'll see...

He'd asked if I wanted to see one of the other T's I'd seen before, to see someone I know. But I didn't feel welcome back to see M, and with K, she didn't email me back when I asked her a question about if she or someone in her office could see D...(before we started seeing P). Plus, I didn't say this to Dr. T, but I'd mostly seen K to complain about Dr. T, and she doesn't have a particularly good opinion of him, so I didn't really want to get that from her. (Like, she was very open and clear about her opinions.) Obviously ex-MC and ex-T aren't options (I imagine ex-T would be willing to see me, but...l).

The good thing is, there are an excessive number of T's in my area!

[ArtieTheSequal]

Here's another of my recent creations:

[ArtieTheSequal]

I hope it goes well, LT!

[LonesomeTonight]

Also trying to figure out my dream last night where Dr. T mailed me this package before he left. It included a note to me (I forget what it said), plus a whole bunch of photos, presumably of family and friends of his? I think he was in a couple, as was his son (he has a pic of him in his office). And his wife was in a couple, but the rest were random people with no notes about who they were. What's weird is he included a photo of his son's bronzed baby shoes, which I was really touched by (in the dream) because it seemed so personal. Even weirder, I realized one of the photos was taken in my late grandfather's house (who lived a state away and passed away 15 years ago).


Amusingly, the other thing he included was some cut and pasted recipes, with the heading "What I'm going to cook on our trip." They were all grilled things, so I was like, "Aha, he must have a grill where he is!" Mostly meat, too (I'm vegetarian). So, yeah...not sure what *that* was all about.

[ArtleyWilkins]

LT, Do you realize how confusing your therapist collection is? Is it as confusing on your end as it is to read?