Couch 214: The chihiro couch

I made the mistake of letting H stay over the weekend as long as he slept in the RV, which he did. But him being here 24/7 has stressed me out.



H is supposed to visit his brother for 2 weeks tomorrow, but it's up to the husband and his work. They'd all have to self quarantine for 2 weeks, so the husband has to get the okay from his higher up I guess. It would be nice for H to be gone and leave me alone for a full 2 weeks so I'm crossing my fingers.

Hello couch brethren. I come back to you post 10 day stay IP. They finally changed my antidepressant that hasn’t worked since November and I’m feeling better. Not ready to tackle the world, but also ready to not die.

I start the PHP program tomorrow. They said it might be up to a month. I’m kind of concerned that work is going to flip out. But something has to change. I can’t keep getting to the point where I have to go IP again.

Yuppp. He thinks I'm his property still. Quite literally. I wish I could mail him poop lol, but it's a shared mailbox.

I heard from my younger brother that Mum's been crying, that she begged him "Don't leave me one by one", and that she's afraid I'll cut off contact. But I asked him and she didn't seek therapy / counselling like I told her to, just before I changed my phone number.

Tbh I want to tell her she's reaping what she sowed because she beat me well into my twenties, shrieking that I'm going to "abandon the family". Yeah, the best way to keep your adult children from leaving is to beat them since they're young and make them swear to god and you on their knees they won't leave you... I don't have any sympathy for her right now tbh. How about all the tears I cried and how I couldn't have any friends or a regular life...

Hugs if wanted. What a tough situation. How are you feeling?

Another day in COVID-land. I can’t leave the house until I get tested so I’m going to do a livestream yoga class this morning and then do some reading until the evening when I have some Zoom calls and friend-dates. I have such trouble filling my days.

Hi Couch,

I hope everybody's doing as well as possible at the moment. I just played Swingball for the first time since I was a kid.
I'm now wondering whether it would be possible to do so in a therapy session, or whether that would just be weird.

morning couch, hugs all around to those who want.

So I haven't been remembering much in the way of dreams for awhile now, but the past 2 nights have been nightmares. Last night's was a doozy, apparently I screamed so loudly I woke h up (he was asleep on the couch in the other room) and he had to come wake me up because my screaming didn't. I was awake the rest of the night, from about 2am on. Now it's going on 6am and about time to start work... yawn. In the dream I'm a witch and I'm conjuring helping souls for people (?) and this young woman gets one from me, but she starts doing evil things with it, and when I try to take it back she like freezes me somehow and I can't move or talk and I'm trying so hard to say my sister witches names so they can come and help me. But I can't speak them. I remember their names, they were Sarah and Lindsay. I imagine the whole being frozen in the dream is why I couldn't wake myself up.

Weird. Just typing that I got a chill. Oh well time to go log onto work. Have a good day, couchies.

Wow, that sounds terrifying Artie!

I feel pretty sure I'm having a major depressive episode, and the Psych Central quiz I just took confirmed it--got the highest possible level, "severe depression." I contacted my p-doc, who I haven't seen in ages, for an appointment, might need increased or different meds (Dr. T confirmed that she's doing online sessions now). So hope I can see her soon.

Hugs hugs hugs hugs hugs. I've no words, just care

T hasn't replied to my email asking if I can go on the discounted rate due to me recently leaving the family home...

I wish she would be consistent about which emails she'd reply to and which she doesn't.

Tbh I got no help or even sympathy when I had my eldest uncle die of a brain aneurysm AT my grandfather's funeral... I was in vocational school, 19 years old. Was called a liar and no help or anything after I produced the death certificate. My fault though, I didn't even KNOW I could ask for extensions. I did really badly that year. I told no one about the ongoing violence at home because it was my normal.

Yikes, QM. I hope she gets back to you soon. That seems like a significant email to drop the ball on.

Thanks, QM. Hugs right back at you. And I hope your T replies soon to your email about the rate. I would think she'd give you a discounted rate.

You are being proactive about it - so that is a good thing. I hope your pdoc gets you in asap

Thanks, Polibeth. Also seeing Dr. T again later today (yesterday was extra session, and I kept today's).

My dogs love love love bananas so I am trying to make some dried banana chips right now out of some that were getting too ripe - fresh banana is not fun to try and carry around as a dog treat.

Definitely not. I hope the dried banana works out well. I have a very real aversion to them, so won't be coming anywhere near.

Bananas in general or just the dried type?

I hope you are able to get an appt soon so that you can get your meds adjusted and start feeling better.

Thanks, Artie.

Bananas in general. I think it's a texture thing, but then I can't stand the smell either. Banana flavoured antibiotics were a feature of my childhood.

I think real but not too ripe banana is good, but sickly sweet like yogurt banana or banana extract or flavoring is appalling. Oh but i do like banana twinkie type cakes. They had one used to be called Banana Flip. I didnt often get medicine, they let me ride it out, like covid! Fooled them, im still here. Wheres that new italian arm emoji?
Google Image Result for https://assets.change.org/photos/0/cz/de/weczDESieIrMpBT-800x450-noPad.jpg?1530923772

I have not thought of banana flips in *years*. My dad used to get them at a surplus bread store near our house.

I’m glad you’re looking into having your meds adjusted, LT. Fingers crossed it helps.

Thanks, @@