[rmoto7]

Hello everyone. I'm in Southern California, and have a question about what I think is a serious breach of confidentiality by me ex-therapist.

My GF of nine years totally cut me off by phone, texts, or emails, without warning in early August. We had one couples therapy session with the man who I ended up doing individual therapy with, and then she cut me off.

I was devastated over the way my GF was choosing to end our nine year relationship, and it was the main reason I was having seven sessions a week with him for about the first six weeks, then cut it back to three when I felt better.

I continued therapy with him from August through March of this year, and asked him at least a dozen times if he was in contact with my ex GF, and he always said no. I just had a feeling that he was, and then I was mistakenly copied in on an email exchange where my therapist and ex were collaborating to write the "perfect" email to me to appease me.

Ex: "How does this sound?" and sending him the email she carefully crafted to not give me too much hope, but still be positive in tone.

Therapist "That sounds good, but make sure you add this....When the powers that be deem it right, we can start off as friends and have contact again."

This infuriated me and I should have quit therapy with this guy right then and trusted my gut.

Then last week, I pulled the T-Mobile phone bills since my Ex and I had a shared account until November of last year, and could not believe what I saw.

There were a few calls a week to my therapist incoming and outgoing for as long as 64 minutes, 28 minutes, 38 minutes, etc., and multiple texts per day starting early morning till late at night, including pics texts.

I have done some research on this, and although my therapist keeps trying to justify it and rationalize it, saying he was trying to reunite us, I think it's a huge breach of trust and confidentiality, and him lying to me is so shocking to me.

He said "Nothing inappropriate happened," and I tell him that him lying to me and having any contact with her without my written consent is an egregious breach of confidentiality.

I hope some of you will weigh in and give me your opinions, because this has really angered and hurt me, and my therapist refuses to budge on his stance. ,

I

[Omers]

Welcome to psych central. To be honest, if not a bit blunt, I see nothing ethical in what you have experienced. I know others may have other opinions but 7 sessions a week is a big red flag unless you are inpatient or intensive outpatient program but then it isn’t all individual sessions. There is just, IMO, so much wrong here, yes, this T is unethical... find a real T.

[rmoto7]

Thank you @Omers I have already terminated the T and I was doing seven sessions a week because I was having such a hard time dealing with the cruel cutoff from my ex GF. That is what I needed and he didn't talk me into it. It's the breach of confidentiality and lying to me that I am outraged about.

[Rive.]

Doesn't seem ethical or professional at all.

I would dump him like a sack of turd.

If you file a complaint, you will need copies of exchanges between the t and girlfriend, phone records etc.

Can you prove that he told you he wasn't in contact?

[Salmon77]

This sounds very unethical. I guess he might have some legal justification for being in contact with her because of the couples session, but it sounds like a big breach of confidentiality and definitely worth reporting.

[rmoto7]

Hi Client xx, thank you for your reply. .I cannot prove that he told me no that he wasn't in contact with her, but I do have the phone records of the many calls 19 in August and I have to finish counting the texts....took a break at 54 by August 11th.

[rmoto7]

Thank you Salmon77. We only had one couples session, and then I made it very clear that I wanted to continue individual counseling with him, and he was not to share any information about what we discussed with my ex. He agreed, and when I questioned him and asked him if he was in contact with her, he always gave me an emphatic no answer, that I was his client. But I never recorded our sessions, so I have no proof of that part, but I do have that email I was inadvertently copied in on.

i am really sorry that happened.

[rmoto7]

Thank you @Starry_Night.