[LostOnTheTrail]

Hi, all.

I hope you're doing OK. Apologies for another teletherapy thread, but I am really interested in hearing how others are dealing with not having access to touch while we're stuck doing teletherapy.

In an ideal world, I would like to find something that I could carry over if I can't rely on touch as much as I have when we resume in person work.

I would love to hear any thoughts you might have.

Thanks,

Lost

[Lonelyinmyheart]

It might sound silly but how about hug emojis? Or both you and T putting one hand on/right near your screens to simulate a touch to say goodbye?

During the week, could you use a hot water bottle for comfort, hug a soft toy, or maybe wrap yourself in a warm blanket?

[LostOnTheTrail]

Thanks - they're all great ideas. I'm also trying to be careful about not making a big deal out of it.
We haven't really had any 'big deal' moments in the time that I've been working with her, so it would be great to keep it that way.

[Lonelyinmyheart]

I think I understand not wanting to create the first 'big deal' moment over this. I'm guessing you had some form of touch prior to teletherapy? Could you casually mention that you're missing it a little bit and wondered if you can have a virtual handshake or handtouch at the end? Or leave out the 'missing it' bit perhaps and just take the chance of putting your hand to the screen when saying goodbye and asking T if s/he could do the same? I'm sure T will be fine with you asking for what you need especially if s/he is open to touch, but I know it can be scary especially when the sessions are so different anyway.

[Omers]

My T tried to do touch through the camera/screen but it totally freaked me out and triggered me. Another thing he offered was matching stuffed animals... we have the same exact one so he offered to hug the one at his office while I hugged the one at home. Overall I found most substitutions more upsetting than going with out and this continues to be true now that I can go to his office but need to stay 6ft away. Hugs are what I miss most so I am thinking about a special scarf or blanket I can wrap around me and pull tight?

[LostOnTheTrail]

Thanks, Lonelyinmyheart.

Yeah, we did...our most recent in person session was spent with me clinging onto her for dear life as I cried over something that now seems relatively minor.
I was about to go on a life writing retreat where I would write about the experience that led me to seek therapy.
That prompted a lot of fear, but this is a whole new level.
We've talked some about my missing it, and she's mentioned that she is struggling with it too.

I guess we'll have to see what happens.

Omers - thanks for chiming in. I feel like you get it.
Such a good point about blanket or scarf, then pull tight.
I get the thing about substitutes being more upsetting, I really do.
And that's what I'm concerned about here.

Just another turn in accepting the unacceptable, I guess.

[Adyna]

We never used touch before this (I’m ****ed up about touching usually) but now I want to more than ever and I hate there’s no chance.