[emmaleemochizuki]

I struggle with an eating disorder.

When I told my therapist how much I was exercising (running 10-12k everyday) she told me that I should be eating more than 2000 calories and more like 2500 calories.

I just found it really unconvincing coming from her because she's tiny herself. And honestly I can't imagine eating that much I will just balloon out of proportion.

Anyway I am not 'very thin' anymore, and our sessions are just so f***ing repetitive at the moment talking about ED and it just really upsets me. I don't want it to be this way either but I can't help it.

In the last six years I have relapsed three times each of them ending in hospitalisation. I saw a photo of myself last year and I looked like a ghost. But at the same time my ED is telling me that I need to lose weight and get back to that.

This battle is so exhausting.

[Flinders40]

Hey there,
I’ve struggled with an eating disorder for more than 20 years. More hospitalizations than I can count and even more unqualified therapists . I totally get where you are coming from. Is your therapist specifically trained to treat eating disorders? I only ask because in my opinion that is CRITICAL - if not they can do more harm than good.
Just this morning my husband saw a picture of me from a few years ago and he said, “my god you were SO thin then - you look much better now.” Hmmm, I actually weigh less now than I did then. So I get the mind-f—— eating disorders bring and how one seemingly innocent comment/ statement can be disastrous.