[precaryous]

Apologies for the length of this post.
~~Trigger alarm for ‘sexual’ content~~

Well, this just happened.

Came across a photo of AbusivePDoc and his family online. It brought up a lot of anger.

I realized that T and even PreviousT never met him and have never seen his picture. I wanted them to see the picture of the psychiatrist who exploited me emotionally, psychologically, financially and sexually.

I wanted them to see the photo of the psychiatrist who r***d me, stole my money, shredded my mental health, hurt my family and confused and hurt me so badly that I’ve been on the couch since 1994.

I wanted PreviousT to see him bc she was the one that found me at my worst- right in the middle of the relationship with AbusivePDoc, my questioning ‘is this relationship all right?’..so confused..so hurt..so messed up. I can’t even tell you how bad it was.

She fought very hard to keep me from ‘cracking’ mentally and keep me from destroying myself. She admitted me inpatient several times before I understood what was happening to me, during the criminal, civil, and medical board cases, and she was the light that kept me going during the aftermath..during all of it. Finding attorneys. Interrogatories. Depositions. Affidavits. Interviews. Seven years.

It was a lot.

We went through all of that together and she hadn’t ever seen his photo. I sent it to her because I thought it was important...a kind of ‘closure.’ I wanted her to see what I’ve been fighting.

She is a T of few words most of the time...especially now when she is part of my support system, yet not my T anymore.

Her response was, “Wow!- -“

I simultaneously sent a note and the photo to my current T. Current T has heard all about the trauma/situation, of course. She has relived most of the history with me. She’s the one that helped me figure out what to call the sexual aspect of the abuse...beyond ‘exploitation.’ It was all exploitation, but I was confused what to call an aspect of the sexual acts. I learned I was r***d almost thirteen years after it happened..because I said, ‘no’ to a part...and he physically forced me to do it anyway.

So CurrentT and I have been through a lot regarding this situation, too.

I sent CurrentT the photo and a brief note reflecting my anger at the sob.
She didn’t reply. I thought she must busy. I finally asked her if she had received the photo? I just wanted to make sure she got it.

She finally admitted she did receive it ...and said she should have acknowledged it...and apologized. She said her reason for not talking via email about the photo was it was ‘too deep’ for her to do that well. She said she should have acknowledged it and said, “I want to talk more about this.”

On the phone she said she didn’t have any nice words to say about the photo. I take her overall meaning is that the photo angered her, maybe? My guess is that she was affected beyond anything I expected?

I’m a little confused. I’m touched that it affected her so much.

We have a tele-med appointment for Saturday and we will talk more about it then.

[precaryous]

At first I wondered if T was upset with me, but I told her the photo was in public domain. I hadn’t snatched it from anyone’s social media. The photo is more than ten years old.

I’m guessing her reaction...just by her comments. I could be all wrong.
We will straighten it out, though.

Finding the photo and sharing it with PrevT and T are important to me.

What did you make of the "Wow" response?

[nottrustin]

I suspect T was upset with you rather upset with seeikf the face of the person who upset you so much

[precaryous]

Originally Posted by comrademoomoo

What did you make of the "Wow" response?

Thanks for that. I can only guess.
It’s not uncommon for PrevT to make short replies, so that felt ok.
I think PrevT was surprised we were finally able to put a face with the person who exploited me.

Maybe I’ll ask PrevT what she meant....after I speak with CurrentT tomorrow.
They have both been on my side. I would be surprised if PrevT’s ‘wow’ comment or CurrentT’s lack of comment, were meant to be critical.

I’ve learned I am horrible of reading people’s reactions- so I find it helpful to check things out.

[precaryous]

Originally Posted by nottrustin

I suspect T was upset with you rather upset with seeikf the face of the person who upset you so much

Hm. That’s possible. Why would she be upset with me?

[Shotokan]

I am sorry for all that you are going through.

I did the same thing. I showed a psychiatrist the picture of the therapist that emotionally abused me. My psychiatrist knew who the abusive therapist was and told me that he was someone that he couldn't stand interacting with. He himself had problems with him and spoke very negatively about him. I must admit that really helped me when he told me all that. He even suggested that I pin his picture on a dart board and throw darts at it. I did that for awhile.

I'm sure they were both very angry with him for what he put you through.

[Shotokan]

Originally Posted by precaryous

Hm. That’s possible. Why would she be upset with me?

I think she means that the therapist is upset for you and angry at him.

[precaryous]

Originally Posted by Shotokan

I think she means that the therapist is upset for you and angry at him.

Oohhh! Thank you!

[Shotokan]

Originally Posted by precaryous

Oohhh! Thank you!

You're welcome. I really do think that is what the poster meant. I think that was just a typing error.

[nottrustin]

Originally Posted by precaryous

Hm. That’s possible. Why would she be upset with me?

I am so sorry it should have said I suspect she WASN'T upset with you but rather was upset to see the person who hurt you so badly. Sorry for the typo.

[precaryous]

Originally Posted by nottrustin

I am so sorry it should have said I suspect she WASN'T upset with you but rather was upset to see the person who hurt you so badly. Sorry for the typo.

Thank you for your feedback.
No worries about the typo. It happens!

[precaryous]

Originally Posted by Shotokan

I am sorry for all that you are going through.

I did the same thing. I showed a psychiatrist the picture of the therapist that emotionally abused me. My psychiatrist knew who the abusive therapist was and told me that he was someone that he couldn't stand interacting with. He himself had problems with him and spoke very negatively about him. I must admit that really helped me when he told me all that. He even suggested that I pin his picture on a dart board and throw darts at it. I did that for awhile.

I'm sure they were both very angry with him for what he put you through.

I’m glad your Pdoc gave you validation, empathy and real life feedback when you showed Pdoc the abusive therapist’s picture. It sounds like your PDoc was very supportive and helpful. I’m happy Pdoc shared his opinions and experiences with you.

It seems very important to me that T and PrevT have a look at the exploitative Pdoc in my case. I can’t exactly verbalize why it is important to me. Part of it has something to do with receiving validation. They have known his name all this time, now they’ve seen the face of the enemy that I am still emotionally and psychologically fighting. And it helps me not feel alone in the trauma or the fight.
It helps me feel supported.

Did it help you in some of these ways, too?

[Shotokan]

Originally Posted by precaryous

I’m glad your Pdoc gave you validation, empathy and real life feedback when you showed Pdoc the abusive therapist’s picture. It sounds like your PDoc was very supportive and helpful. I’m happy Pdoc shared his opinions and experiences with you.

It seems very important to me that T and PrevT have a look at the exploitative Pdoc in my case. I can’t exactly verbalize why it is important to me. Part of it has something to do with receiving validation. They have known his name all this time, now they’ve seen the face of the enemy that I am still emotionally and psychologically fighting. And it helps me not feel alone in the trauma or the fight.
It helps me feel supported.

Did it help you in some of these ways, too?

Thank you for your supportive response! Yes, I do understand how important it is that they see your former Pdoc's picture. It really is hard to verbalize why. It is like that saying, "A picture is worth a thousand words."

Yes, having my Pdoc see his picture also helped me to feel very supported. Having him confirm that we were talking about the same person made me feel like I had someone on my side fighting for me.

Yes, I feel the same way that you do!

[Amyjay]

MY T is typically very cerebral and unemotional, but I have seen her with tears in her eyes on one occasion... when she was looking at a photo of me as a young child standing beside my father.
She never shows emotion, but she was visibly affected when looking at that photo.

So I agree with the previous poster. A picture is worth a thousand words.