[emmaleemochizuki]

I'm 21, so far my therapy session has mostly been about my mental health (eating disorders, bipolar), trauma, relationship with family and friends, but I have never talked about romantic relationship, or sexuality.

Anyway I feel like it is something I need to talk about but I just feel weird bringing it up to my T. I started seeing someone few months ago, and I'm kind of in a relationship, I never told my T that so I assume she just assume I'm single, and I never told her I am lesbian.

I don't know if I should talk about it. In a way it seem like an important thing, but in other ways I feel like maybe there's more pressing issues at the moment, like talking about the abuse, and I have been in a relapse of my ED.

How can I bring this up?

[Lostislost]

Personally I would just say 'I saw my girlfriend today...' and just carry on as normal. I would be worried if your therapist was surprised at people's sexual preference.

[Lonelyinmyheart]

I wouldn't worry about making a point of your sexuality or sexual preferences unless you feel it's something that impacts on you massively or you have strong feelings/ conflict about, or you particularly want your therapist to know about that about you (some people do and that's okay).

Like Lost said, I doubt your therapist would be surprised at your sexuality - it's 2020, and therapists are trained to be open-minded and accepting.

[Skeezyks]

I think it really depends on how important a concern this is for you. I can only relate to my own experiences. (I should mention I've only seen a few therapists for brief periods over the years.)

For me my Gender Dysphoria (plus some other related stuff) is such an integral part of who I have been, as well as what my experiences have been, that to not bring this stuff up made seeing a therapist pointless. And that is, perhaps, why I tried a number of different therapists & found seeing them pointless, because I was too embarrassed to talk about these things for the most part. However, for you, perhaps it's just not that big a deal?

I like Lostislost's suggestion for introducing the subject though. Just in passing mention you saw your gf, perhaps along with a bit about what the two of you did, & then carry on from there with whatever else there is to be discussed. Your therapist may well pick up on that & ask if you want to talk more about it which you can then do, or not do, as you prefer. You can also mention your gf again during subsequent appointments when there's an appropriate moment. That way it doesn't come across as some big deal that needs to be grappled with. It's simply another aspect of your life you're mentioning here-&-there as your appointments continue. Perhaps it will lead to something important... perhaps not. But either way it's a significant aspect of your life you've allowed into your conversations with your T. At least that's the way it seems to me.

[kaleidoscopeheart]

I am all about being transparent in therapy since that is one of the few places that I feel comfortable being vulnerable so I would just tell your T straight up that you wanted to talk about it. I know it's not easy, I grew up in a majorly homo-phobic household so telling anyone that I was bisexual was incredibly difficult, but T's acceptance was very freeing for me.

As other people have said, I think it is unlikely that your therapist will be surprised as such. However, heteronormative thinking (something which even LGB people get stuck in) could have led her to assume that you are straight in the absence of you stating otherwise. You don't need to come out to her by referencing your girlfriend, not least because your sexuality exists outside of your active relationships. How about, "I want to talk about my sexuality. I am a lesbian and I am noticing that ..." Your sexuality is important and it is an integral part of your existence - it isn't something which you only need to address if it is problematic or an area of conflict. Being a lesbian is not always an easy existence and self-exploration is always worth it.

[nottrustin]

What are your fears in bringing it up?

[*Beth*]

The first time I mentioned sex to my therapist I was way manic. I was flying! I started telling her how much I love sex, love passion, love being able to express myself through sexuality. I mean, I really went into it

My therapist just listened, and smiled, and nodded, and listened


I'm very sure that therapists have heard it all and are comfortable discussing sexuality. In fact, they probably hope clients bring the subject up, because our sexuality is integral to ourselves as human beings.

[HALLIEBETH87]

Listen....Ts hear everything and I suspect nothing you say will be awkward or met with judgement. Your T works for you! Speak up!