[ErinBear]

Hi,

I'm so discouraged. I've been trying so hard to find a counselor or therapist. I was seeing a counselor with whom I had a really good working relationship. He moved out-of-state over 1 1/2 years ago. Since then, I've been trying to find a new therapist. It's been far harder than I imagined. The past two months, I've put even greater effort into it again, because my depression has been tons worse. I met a therapist at the start of December. That one seemed like a perfect match in every way - I could afford to see him; I could get there by public transit; and the number one thing, we seemed to be an excellent match. It was the first time in all those months I felt comfortable talking with somebody! But he decided he would not work with me because I have to use public transit to get there. I've never had a therapist use that as a reason not to see me!!!! I was stunned, and still am.

Then he reommended another therapist. That person said no - same reasoning. That therapist recommended another one, but so far that counselor is not returning the call. However, I think that one isn't in a location I can reach by public transit, so I suspect that one is out anyway.

I called two previous therapists, in desperation. They said no also. I've called several other counseling centers. One problem or another exists. Their fees are too high - this is the usual problem - or I can't get there by public transit. Sometimes they won't take patients unless they will go on antidepressants, which I can't afford (not to mention the fact that for some reason, they don't seem to work for me either...but I can't even pay for them, so that's out of the question). I've run into that several times lately.

I don't know what to do. I keep running into roadblocks. There is a local community health center down the street. Even they won't see me as a patient, because I am on Medicare. They claim that if you have Medicare, you can't be a client because that means you can get help somewhere else. I don't know where else they think you can get help, because no place here accepts Medicare for mental health treatment. But anyway, that clinic is not an option either.

It's upsetting. I can try and try and try to find a counselor, and work very hard at it, but it's really beginning to appear that there just isn't one, however much it is necessary right now.

Thanks for listening. I know this isn't anybody's problem but my own, but I just needed to vent somewhere. I find this really upsetting. It's hard to imagine I can be working on this for over a year and a half and still - no counselor. Part of that time, I was hospitalized for depression as well. Still, no counselor. I think our mental health system is messed up.

Take care,
ErinBear

[sunrise]

ErinBear, I am so sorry. I have never heard of such a stupid reason to refuse to work with a client--that they have to take public transit. Some people don't own a car so they take public transit everywhere. So certain T's only will work with people who have cars? WTF??? I also wonder why these therapists are asking you how you will get to your sessions. Seems like a strange question in the first session. Isn't it enough that you show up on time each week? Who cares if you take car, bus, taxi, train? Maybe if you go through this again, don't share with them your transportation mode, so you can't be discriminated against based on this.

</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
Sometimes they won't take patients unless they will go on antidepressants

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">Oh, man, this one is totally crazy. How can they say that when they haven't even met you yet? Drugs are not the solution for everyone!!! This is also not the sort of question they should ask you when you first contact them by phone. The first phone call should be very brief and involve setting an appointment time, getting directions, etc. There should be no discussion of meds in the first phone call! I think some of these people need to go back to therapy school.

</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
I find this really upsetting.

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">I totally understand why. I am so sorry still no T for you after searching so long. You have done everything right. I hope you are able to keep looking.

[Perna]

Erinbear, do you have a university hospital near you? They often have clinics; I went to Georgetown University Hospital's psychiatric clinic when I lived in Washington, D.C. Check with the hospital you were in, see where their Medicare patients go?

It has to be hard and frustrating for you with all the various pieces you have to get working together to find a T that will work. Your state mental health agency can't recommend somewhere?

[ErinBear]

Thanks, Sunrise. Yes, that's my situation. I don't own a car, so I generally need to use public transit to get around. Sometimes I can borrow a car, but the typical situation is that I'm on public transit. I don't volunteer that information, but if the counselor or therapist is some distance from me, the topic arises. These things don't come up over the phone, but at the first session (which was the case with this most recent fellow). Still, I thought it was a crazy reason to nix the whole thing, and I'd never had that happen before. Unfortunately, it's not something I can fix, either.

I don't really know what else to do in terms of continuing to search for a counselor right now. I've been searching so hard and so long.....I'm running out of options. It's very disheartening. I know on the one hand, given my symptoms at the moment, I need to be talking to someone, but I can't seem to find somebody who will see me, I can reach by public transit, and I can afford, etc. I don't know what the solution is. Anyway, thanks a lot for listening. I appreciate it a whole bunch.

Take care,
ErinBear

[(JD)]

What has happened to the hippocratic oath???

Did they not like you using public transportation due to you being late? IDK... but how is that an issue anyway? What business is it of theirs how you get there and leave? Can you return without telling?

[ErinBear]

Hi Perna,

When I was in the hospital, they told me there were no psychiatrists in the area which took Medicare patients, so they gave me no referrals when I left. They told me it was up to me to try to find a doctor (which I rapidly discovered was impossible). There is a teaching university some distance away (3 hours by public transit) but their psychiatric service is over-filled. This is no wonder given the lack of resources in our area. The last time I called, their waiting list would not accept names for a year. Even if you called in a year and got on the waiting list, it would be another 8-12 months until you were accepted as a patient. This is only for psychiatric care, as well, and probably that's not what I need at this point, as anti-depressants don't seem to work in my case.

Anyway - it's all very discouraging.

Take care,
ErinBear

Erin,
That must be so frustrating for you! It makes me so angry! Our mental health care system sucks!!!! Have you asked your primary care physician for a referral? If not, do you see any other doctors that you trust that you could ask?
I wish I had the answers for you. I'm here for you, though!
Take care!

[ErinBear]

Hi Sky,

No, I'm not late. I make a point of being on time....early, in fact. The one day I met this other therapist, I was 20 minutes early to be on the safe side. With my former counselor, with three years of working with him, I was always 15 minutes early except for one day when the trains were late.

I can't go back surreptitiously in some way. He has said for sure he won't work with me because of my long trips on public transit to get there. So it's over. I even had friends offer to loan me cars, or sponsor car rentals to help it work out - he still said no, thinking I'd be on public transit. I guess he just didn't want someone who would be making a long commute for some reason. I have no idea why. My former counselor even offered to be a reference, as I'd always been very consistent and reliable! No dice.

Thanks for listening.

Take care,
ErinBear

[Perna]

Have you tried looking into online therapy? It's often less expensive and might be a good stopgap until you can find someone locally. Too, if you find someone remotely in your area and get to know them online, they may have a friend, etc.

I sometimes like to look through lists of online therapists; I've used a couple different ones before and have started with a new one recently. It's not quite as satisfying as face-to-face but it's helped me with a couple rough patches.

http://psychcentral.com/resources/Psychotherapy/Online/

http://www.metanoia.org/imhs/directry.htm

So the idea was that he felt like your commute time to see him was too long? If that is right... Then maybe he was trying to be considerate to you in thinking that it would be better for you to see someone closer.

Could you contact him and explain that you really liked him and thought that you worked well together... And that you haven't been able to find anyone who is closer to you. And that you don't mind the commute?

Might be that he doesn't understand that it was so hard for you to find someone closer.

[ErinBear]

Hi Perna,

yes, I have done some online counseling in the past. I agree with you that it can provide a certain amount of support, and it's a good option in some circumstances. I am not sure it's the best option for me at this point, given what I'm facing - I think probably meeting with someone face-to-face is what I need right now. But yes, I may try that again, I'm not sure. Thanks Perna.

Take care,
ErinBear

[ErinBear]

Hi Alexandra,

Yes, I did call him back today, and he said again that he didn't want to work with me. I'm still not clear on why he won't work with me. I was very clear that I was happy to travel the distance, whatever it was. I think it is something else that he wasn't telling me. But whatever the reason, it's out of my hands. If he's not okay with it, I can't change that.

Thanks for listening.

Take care,
ErinBear

[MissCharlotte]

Erin,

This is truly upsetting in many ways!!! Have you contacted NAMI? They may be able to help you find counseling in your area. Also, if there is a university nearby or within traveling distance, you might call their psychology department to see if they have a list of therapists who are taking new patients.

I do not think it's ethical to have a therapist deny treatment because of the means of transportation you use. I'm sorry you encountered this.

Peace Erin!!

NAMI

[ErinBear]

Hi Sister,

Thanks for your note. Yes, I have looked at NAMI's website, and they didn't have any listings for my area. The local teaching hospital didn't have any referrals for my area either. I just seem to keep bombing out - it's been a year and a half of this, one way or another. I've had consultations with counselors, and sometimes a limited amount of sessions, but so far it just hasn't worked out. I didn't think it would be this hard to find a new counselor when the old one moved away. I wish I could see him again, but he's about 1,000 miles away - that's out.

Thanks again,
ErinBear