[LostOnTheTrail]

Hi, all.

I hope you're OK. I have a boundary that I am beginning to wonder about. If you have a therapy appointment scheduled, and a friend invites you to go out/meet up afterwards, do you go?

Generally I find myself feeling pretty raw after therapy, even more so in this era of teletherapy.

Would be interested in others' thoughts.

[Quietmind 2]

My personal boundary is I don't go to socials after therapy because I tend to feel raw, exhausted etc until at least the next day's afternoon. I've made some exceptions before, but generally regret them.

[Lonelyinmyheart]

No I don't. I need the rest of the day to process how the session went so going out with a friend would be too much. The next day would be okay though.

[Rive.]

No. I can't be social on therapy days.

[CharlieStarDust]

Usually I would. If session was good, I need to debrief with someone. My close friends know all about my therapy, so I feel comfortable sharing some details with them.

[Omers]

No, I don’t. I also try to arrange it so that I have therapy day off from work. I know one of my other friends is the same way. Therapy day is therapy day. I know that is a huge privilege that many don’t have and I am very thankful that I have pretty consistently been able to do that. On a rare occasion work may call and if it was a light session I might consider coming in but my job knows better than to count on me that day.

[Lemoncake]

The times I've agreed to meet up with someone even if it was just to go food shopping with them hasn't gone well. I've learnt my lesson- no therapy before classes and no meet ups either.

I don't know in which direction the session will go..

[Lostislost]

One of my friends used to I insist on waiting outside for when my session finished. I hated it, he used to pry in to what I'd said in therapy and used it against me. We aren't friends anymore. I chose depends on emotional state, because sometimes I just can't stand to see anyone else on the same day.

[atisketatasket]

The one time I didn't keep a social engagement on a therapy day was the time Info double-booked my time and I was the one without the "official" appointment.

Otherwise, it's fine. However, I have learned not to have therapy appointments before work.

[nottrustin]

If I have a commitment after I always attend but I try not to. Last summer and fall I was involved in a project that met 1 hour after my therapy appointment. With travel time, I ended up being late everytime but they knew that would be the case. T and I discussed ahead of time whether I would participate in the project. We decided I should because of the importance of that project and we would intentionally try to keep appointments less deep than normal. Sometimes it was really hard to sit through the meeting.

Other than that time period and since covid I would go to our church chapel directly after and just sit quietly. There was one other person there but we talked minimally. I enjoyed that time.

[ArtleyWilkins]

Granted, my therapy sessions followed a full day of work and a need to get home and tend to family, so I wasn't doing much socializing on weekdays anyway, but it wouldn't have made much difference. I was generally able to regroup and attend to whatever I needed/wanted to attend to pretty quickly even following an intense session because my therapist did a good job of winding things down so I was in a good place when I left. There were times that wasn't the case, but I don't remember them coinciding with anything social anyway.

I am not social on any days!

[Taylor27]

I try to make my therapy days non social because I do need down time to process things. My therapist does a pretty good job and trying to make sure i am okay leaving. It's been allot better now that i have a therapist who cares.

[MobiusPsyche]

For a long time, I had a Work meeting to attend after therapy. I had half an hour between the end of therapy and the beginning of the work meeting, though, so generally I was able to get myself together enough to function. Two or three times I wasn't able to do that, so I bailed on the work meeting (no harm came of it, this was over the course of two or 2.5 years). It worked okay for me but this was a big meeting with almost fifty people where I wasn't really expected to participate much. If it were a departmental meeting, where people knew me better and could read my mood, I wouldn't have been comfortable going after therapy. No intimate social occasions like with one or two friends would work for me, either. I'm too raw after therapy. I need time to reassemble my armor.

[LostOnTheTrail]

Exactly, MP. Thank you for your comment.

[velcro003]

Oops, I selected "depends on session content," when really I mean to select "depends on emotional state." My Therapy was always after work, so I would just come home right after. I also have very little social life.

[ChickenNoodleSoup]

Sometimes I do, when it's people I don't see often and that have a schedule that doesn't allow for too many other options. But I prefer not to, it only happens a few times a year at most. If I do see someone after my session, I make sure to have enough time to process everything first and try to make the session not too intense.

[Merope]

I have therapy in the evening on a weekday. I tend to go to work and then hang around in cafes/ go on walks before my session (before covid). Once, I had coffee with a friend before my session and it made me feel like I couldn't be myself with T because I'm quite different with friends and I was still in that mindset when we started therapy. I never do anything afterwards. It helps that it's late by the time we finish. I've come to the realisation that I need me time both before and after, to process things.

[SlumberKitty]

I try to not have any social engagements after a therapy session. It's just too much. I get wiped out and need to sleep sometimes or just let my brain chill.

[Amyjay]

I put that it makes no difference, but that isn't quite true. Most often I would never schedule a social thing (actually I very rarely do anything social anyway, so yeah) but every month or so I need to give a professional presentation 1.5 hours after my therapy session. I have DID so it doesn't actually matter much... as soon as I am in that professional situation professional me does her stuff, and usually pretty well even if we have had a really traumatic session. It doesn't really work for social things, but if the need for performance is there I can usually rely on the me that needs to be there being there.
DID is just handy like that.