[Lola5]

I had another Interpersonal Process group session last week and I'm angry again. Like I've said before, our group is not very talkative and it has frustrated me. The week before, one of the women started the session by bringing up an issue with a friend and our entire 90 minutes on her issue (though people made non-specific comments).

The next session, this past week, I decided I was going to bring one of my issues to the group, a genuine problem that has been bothering me in my life. The session starts and the leader, a therapist, asks the woman how she felt sharing her issue last week. The woman says that it was an issue she didn't really care about because she doesn't care about the friendship or consider the person a friend. She just brought it up because she thought people could relate and would have something to talk about. She says she had real issues she could have brought up, but thought people wouldn't relate. The group leader asks her if she wants to bring up one of her real issues during this session and of course she does SO WE SPEND A WHOLE SESSION ON HER ISSUE AGAIN! It becomes a Q&A where she talks about her mental illnesses and how it's awful to have them (duh!). Then, others ask her questions about how she got diagnosed and what about them are awful, etc. because no one else in the group has a mental illness or wants to reveal that they do (me).

I WAS SO ANGRY! She had her chance the week before to make the group about her issue. She chose the wrong issue? TOO BAD. It's unfair to let her make 2 sessions in a row COMPLETELY about herself. I am mad she brazenly took this time and I am mad that the group leader just handed her this time without asking if anyone had anything they wanted to bring up.

[SlumberKitty]

Hi @Lola5, that sounds really frustrating. It's one of the reasons I'm not keen on groups. It doesn't sound like the facilitator is doing a good job at facilitating the group. Are you in personal, individual therapy as well? I would say, maybe look for another group, or give it one more try (third time's a charm). Maybe it is something you can discuss with your individual therapist if you have one. They might have a technique or two to help you make the group more effective. If not, I'd say move on from the group. It doesn't sound like you are getting much out of it. You are always welcome to post here on PC for support. Plenty of people around to listen. HUGS if wanted, Kit

Did you speak about your feelings about this? You are angry at the leader and at the group member who spoke and at the group members who interacted. That's a whole lot of anger. If you are bored or frustrated in the group that will not change if you remain disengaged and silent.

[Lola5]

Originally Posted by SlumberKitty

Hi @Lola5, that sounds really frustrating. It's one of the reasons I'm not keen on groups. It doesn't sound like the facilitator is doing a good job at facilitating the group. Are you in personal, individual therapy as well? I would say, maybe look for another group, or give it one more try (third time's a charm). Maybe it is something you can discuss with your individual therapist if you have one. They might have a technique or two to help you make the group more effective. If not, I'd say move on from the group. It doesn't sound like you are getting much out of it. You are always welcome to post here on PC for support. Plenty of people around to listen. HUGS if wanted, Kit

Thanks so much, Kit! I just made me angry that this facilitator just lets someone monopolize the group a second time in a row.

Originally Posted by comrademoomoo

Did you speak about your feelings about this? You are angry at the leader and at the group member who spoke and at the group members who interacted. That's a whole lot of anger. If you are bored or frustrated in the group that will not change if you remain disengaged and silent.

To be honest, I didn't know how to break into her talking about her mental illnesses and say "hey, I have something else I want to talk about" and cut her off. I felt that would be disrespectful. Also, I thought it would be disrespectful to actually voice my anger over her getting to monopolize the group AGAIN.

[Ssigros]

That sounds super frustrating and a good reason why I've stayed away from groups. I feel like I do better in individual therapy anyways. If you end up going back to this group, I'm guessing it's a weekly meeting, than hopefully you get up the courage to express your feelings on the situation that unfolded that took up 2 whole sessions and how it would be best if we respected each group member's time being there by only bringing up important and relevant issues they are dealing with. I'm not saying you can't move past it, but there are times when it's important to stop, evaluate the situation, express our frustrations, and let it be known that you feel disrespected. I'm learning how important boundaries are and it seems like a definite boundary of respect was crossed when she wasted a whole session on a nonissue, then to have the therapist leading the group to focus solely on her again without addressing that obvious issue is just compounding that disrespect. Especially if you pay to attend these group meetings. Please think about bringing this up next session.

[Lonelyinmyheart]

That would make me really angry too. I've never been to group therapy and your experience is one of the reasons why. Do you have an email address or contact number for the group leader? If so, how about emailing or texting to explain how you feel? In your situation if something wasn't going to change ASAP I just wouldn't go back.

[ArtleyWilkins]

You need to contact that therapist who is running the sessions and voice your concerns. This is not a good group therapy situation.

If this therapist cannot facilitate an effective therapy group, it is probably best to seek a different therapy situation.

[Wren Finch]

That happened to me the one time I tried group therapy. I had almost forgotten about it. You would think that the job of the facilitator or whatever that person is called would be to make sure everybody got an equal opportunity, but mine was lousy at it. Fortunately it was free. It was somebody putting in a required number of hours.

[*Beth*]

I've been in a number of support groups and I've facilitated support groups. The person who is your group facilitator isn't managing the group correctly, at all. If nothing changes when you contact her, find a different group. Plain and simple. Otherwise you'll just be frustrated and waste your time and energy.