[coolibrarian]

Can people ever completely recover from abuse?

[nottrustin]

Originally Posted by coolibrarian

Can people ever completely recover from abuse?

I dont know what you mean by recovery when it comes to abuse. I believe we can heal from the abuse but it is a painful journey that takes a lot of work and the right therapist .

[zoiecat]

I have discussed this with my T many times. It depends on how you define recover. My T says that even with DID and being in one of his top 10 for the extent of trauma, I can get to a point where I can live a normal, happy life as anyone else. Does that mean I will magically forget the trauma ever happened? No. It does mean that I can remember it without the PTSD triggers and bad feelings. I can remember it and talk about it like I would talk about any other bad experience that happens to people in their past. Doing this however takes a long time and a lot of work on my part. Mainly doing EMDR and learning grounding and relaxations skills including mindfulness. While my trauma issues have only started to improve a bit, my distress tolerance has greatly improved through regular mindfulness practice. This includes much more than meditation. I also spent over 2 years in DBT classes which also helped me.

[nottrustin]

Originally Posted by zoiecat

I have discussed this with my T many times. It depends on how you define recover. My T says that even with DID and being in one of his top 10 for the extent of trauma, I can get to a point where I can live a normal, happy life as anyone else. Does that mean I will magically forget the trauma ever happened? No. It does mean that I can remember it without the PTSD triggers and bad feelings. I can remember it and talk about it like I would talk about any other bad experience that happens to people in their past. Doing this however takes a long time and a lot of work on my part. Mainly doing EMDR and learning grounding and relaxations skills including mindfulness. While my trauma issues have only started to improve a bit, my distress tolerance has greatly improved through regular mindfulness practice. This includes much more than meditation. I also spent over 2 years in DBT classes which also helped me.

thank you Zolecat, that pretty much sums up my experience.

[susannahsays]

No.
8 chars

[Rive.]

Completely? I don't think so. The memory will always be there, however happy one may end up in life.

However, they may adjust and not let that event determine they whole life and future. In this sense, people have 'recovered' and led fulfilling lives. However, that won't, can't, erase the past altogether.

[Omers]

I think we can recover more than most people, including T’s, think we can... but completely... no.
My T has a trauma history that he has done a LOT of work on. He is, IMO, very healthy emotionally... is he completely healed? No. I would even venture to say that if you asked him he would say no... that we are always healing and growing but we CAN have (and deserve) happy, healthy, balanced lives now.

I believe I will always be different from folks who've not experienced childhood and adult trauma as I have. And frankly I've found my friendships consist mainly of people who've been through stuff, whether it's trauma or mental illness or life hurts they've had to work to overcome. I find them deep thinkers and that appeals to me.


(I am not saying I'm in any way glad for my trauma. Though I try to understand folks who say that, I find it a meaning making tool that requires me to almost incorporate evil as good in a path for recovery. That's kind of deep discussion for another day.)

So no if recovery means being like more carefree people. I will never be that though I can do a bit of a fake version when needed.


But yes I believe in recovery if it means living a full and fulfilling life, even if marked by the imprint of suffering. Definitely. I can see I've come a very long way, and I'm proud of the legacy of helping others gain more peace in life too.

[ArtleyWilkins]

"Recovery" seems like an odd description of it to me. For me, I tend to use the phrase "move beyond."

I think I've done that. My history of abuse is now where it needs to be: it is in my past. It wasn't for most of my life; it lived actively in my present even though the actual events were decades before. My therapist always said his goal for me was to help me put that history in its rightful place so that I wasn't carrying it with me all the time in my present.

I have gotten to that place and have been there now for nearly a decade. I have moved beyond that history of abuse. Life is much lighter without that baggage.

That doesn't mean it doesn't come up from time to time. I carry a PTSD diagnosis, and while I rarely display symptoms anymore, every now and then it rears its ugly head. The difference now is that those moments are brief; I know how to handle them healthily; I don't spiral into more severe symptoms like I once did. I can move beyond those moments quickly and pretty much unscathed.

[SlumberKitty]

I don't know about completely. I think a lot of healing can be done where the individual can lead a fulfilling life. But completely? I don't know if that is possible. But miracles do happen I suppose.