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Wise Elder
Member Since Nov 2013
Location: US
Posts: 8,428
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Sep 21, 2020 at 10:28 PM
#1
Sort of along the line of fantasies, L and I have been talking about unmet needs and longings. It's so painful!!! And it's so hard, shameful, and embarrassing. Admitting that I have maternal transference for another woman who is 4 years younger than me! Wanting her to hold me, stroke my hair, tuck me into bed, cuddle with me, etc. I have actually been verbalizing it! And she can't or won't meet my needs. So the pain is not just what I missed in childhood, but also now in my relationship with her. It's like a tease. I want to give up and be done with it all. I won't. This is the only hope I've got: in her, in our relationship, in this process. Otherwise, my life is over.
Can someone please explain to me how talking about these desires with the person you have these desires with, is helpful? Is she telling the truth that you can get safe nurturing touch in adult friendships? And it be normal? Has anyone else experienced this pain? Have you been able to get passed it? __________________ "Odium became your opium..." ~Epica |
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