Dear T: I really need to tell you something XLV

unaluna · Feb 26, 2021 at 08:39 PM

LT - just browsed your 2nd paragraph - i read something recently, that its not self-esteem that is missing (in upbringing etc) but self-compassion.

Ive been watching "sMothered" on TLC, and holy cow. I need a reality check!

LonesomeTonight · Feb 26, 2021 at 09:26 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by unaluna

LT - just browsed your 2nd paragraph - i read something recently, that its not self-esteem that is missing (in upbringing etc) but self-compassion.

Ive been watching "sMothered" on TLC, and holy cow. I need a reality check!

Self-compassion makes a lot of sense. I think it's also about what self-esteem can become tied to--in my case, things like good grades, being a "good girl" (like writing thank-you notes promptly, following the rules, not causing trouble). Where self-compassion should be able to be there no matter what. Not sure I was ever taught that piece.

Haven't seen that show--maybe I should check it out?

unaluna · Feb 26, 2021 at 10:09 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by LonesomeTonight

Haven't seen that show--maybe I should check it out?

You will feel so normal and grounded! Altho a lot of that is just the plastic surgery! But not all!

I keep wanting to comment but there isnt really a place. I will have to find the facebook group for the show. You might think im weird! It is sooooo opposite of my mother, but in a way not? Very psychological, dependent, lotsa STUFF.

LonesomeTonight · Feb 27, 2021 at 12:03 PM

Dear T,
I was thinking more about your comment about feeling sadness for me and why I've reacted so strongly to that. My parents should have felt sadness for me when I was struggling. Instead, they seemed annoyed (or indifferent). So I apply that to myself. Instead of having self-compassion. And I expect others, including you, to react that way as well. Your feeling sad for me isn't weird. It's normal. It's the expected* response to someone else being upset. So how do *I* start reacting that way to me?
Love you,
LT

*To use something from my D's school psychologist, the expected vs. unexpected reaction.

Mountaindewed · Feb 27, 2021 at 01:52 PM

To old T:

Today I ate an Aero candy bar and I had a mug of blue fruit Lipton tea because it reminds me of you and February 2020 when I was really struggling and you were telling me everything would be ok.

Am I in the denial stage of grief or the depression stage?

Lemoncake · Feb 27, 2021 at 02:25 PM

Feeling anxious about my upcoming exam.

Booked two therapy sessions for my younger sister, with the therapist she saw once before in Nov. Her upcoming session will be on the 8th of march.

*Beth* · Feb 27, 2021 at 04:25 PM

Oh, dear M....please be back on Monday.

Rive. · Feb 27, 2021 at 08:35 PM

Now where do we go from here?
Will we recover...?

nottrustin · Feb 27, 2021 at 09:07 PM

As if I wasn't feeling alone enough. Today I had multiple reminders of long term T. Ugh, I hate this. Why is life so complex right now.

Daffydungle · Feb 28, 2021 at 02:26 AM

Dear exT in 4 weeksit will be 2 years since our last session. I miss you but now i can i see all the red flags and all the moments of misattunement. We really didnt work well together at all i dont know why i thought we did.

Feb 28, 2021 at 12:12 PM

T, I'm hurting and what does it even matter. So if I do show up this week then what? You watch another client crying during this time. What's the purpose of that. What a joke. There is so much going on now. Perhaps it's best to stuff it back inside, survive and make it through. It's too much! Her diagnosis, his cancer changes, his death anniversary, my many issues past and developing. Now these problems with you, really? Yep, waaah waah wahh, woe is me. But really what's the point.

Mountaindewed · Feb 28, 2021 at 04:09 PM

To old T: so far things are going well with forgetting you. It’s been easier today. Even though I’m writing this right now. I don’t feel that deep aching feeling I felt during the week. If I don’t feel that then I’m getting better.

I still ate an Aero candy bar today because of you but I didn’t drink the tea.

*Beth* · Feb 28, 2021 at 07:17 PM

Okay, tomorrow's Monday. So please be back at work.

LonesomeTonight · Feb 28, 2021 at 07:26 PM

Dear T,

Really anxious about tomorrow with D returning to school. Kinda wish I was seeing you at like 9:30 instead of 12:30, but maybe it's better that it's the middle of the day.

Love,
LT

ArtieTheSequal · Feb 28, 2021 at 07:55 PM

...............

captgut · Mar 01, 2021 at 05:08 AM

I'm sorry you're burning out and can't work as much as earlier, but seeing you once a month or less frequently is not enough, especially because I'm just checked out of a psych yard. What shall we do?

Mountaindewed · Mar 01, 2021 at 06:05 AM

I’m pretty sure you are going to wonder how today went with the new T. I don’t think I’ll be pushed out of your mind that soon. Even though that’s what I’m trying to do with you.

ArtieTheSequal · Mar 01, 2021 at 07:52 AM

I think I'll be bringing my tree sketch to show you on Friday, because this morning when I look at it I see anxiety and sadness in it. Huh. That's not where I was at when I was drawing it, so let's talk about that a little. Mostly though I will be approaching my session with an attitude of curiosity regarding that stuff you said on 2/19 that I didn't much like at the time. I have questions and want to learn!

Merope · Mar 01, 2021 at 08:09 AM

I can’t wait to see you this week!

comrademoomoo · Mar 01, 2021 at 11:20 AM

Nicely timed cancellation, you cankerous old todgeweed.

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Dear T: I really need to tell you something XLV

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unaluna Elder Harridan x-hankster Member Since Jun 2011 Location: Milan/Michigan Posts: 40,936 (SuperPoster!) 13 68.8k hugs given	Feb 26, 2021 at 08:39 PM #941 LT - just browsed your 2nd paragraph - i read something recently, that its not self-esteem that is missing (in upbringing etc) but self-compassion. Ive been watching "sMothered" on TLC, and holy cow. I need a reality check!
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Mountaindewed Legendary Wise Elder Member Since Jun 2016 Location: Where the sidewalk ends Posts: 38,743 (SuperPoster!) 8 9,742 hugs given	Feb 27, 2021 at 01:52 PM #945 To old T: Today I ate an Aero candy bar and I had a mug of blue fruit Lipton tea because it reminds me of you and February 2020 when I was really struggling and you were telling me everything would be ok. Am I in the denial stage of grief or the depression stage? __________________ I'm Blue
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Lemoncake Roses are falling. Member Since May 2017 Location: Seattle. Posts: 9,950 (SuperPoster!) 7 10.5k hugs given	Feb 27, 2021 at 02:25 PM #946 Feeling anxious about my upcoming exam. Booked two therapy sessions for my younger sister, with the therapist she saw once before in Nov. Her upcoming session will be on the 8th of march. __________________
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Beth catches the flowers Member Since Jul 2019 Location: Downtown Vibes, California Posts: 15,701 (SuperPoster!) 5 23.7k hugs given	Feb 27, 2021 at 04:25 PM #947 Oh, dear M....please be back on Monday. __________________
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Rive. Magnate Member Since Sep 2013 Posts: 2,201 11	Feb 27, 2021 at 08:35 PM #948 Now where do we go from here? Will we recover...?
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nottrustin Grand Magnate Member Since Jan 2014 Location: n/a Posts: 4,819 10 375 hugs given	Feb 27, 2021 at 09:07 PM #949 As if I wasn't feeling alone enough. Today I had multiple reminders of long term T. Ugh, I hate this. Why is life so complex right now. __________________
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Daffydungle Poohbah Member Since Apr 2020 Location: Nowhere Posts: 1,257 4 451 hugs given	Feb 28, 2021 at 02:26 AM #950 Dear exT in 4 weeksit will be 2 years since our last session. I miss you but now i can i see all the red flags and all the moments of misattunement. We really didnt work well together at all i dont know why i thought we did.
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Mountaindewed Legendary Wise Elder Member Since Jun 2016 Location: Where the sidewalk ends Posts: 38,743 (SuperPoster!) 8 9,742 hugs given	Feb 28, 2021 at 04:09 PM #952 To old T: so far things are going well with forgetting you. It’s been easier today. Even though I’m writing this right now. I don’t feel that deep aching feeling I felt during the week. If I don’t feel that then I’m getting better. I still ate an Aero candy bar today because of you but I didn’t drink the tea. __________________ I'm Blue
	Reply With Quote

Beth catches the flowers Member Since Jul 2019 Location: Downtown Vibes, California Posts: 15,701 (SuperPoster!) 5 23.7k hugs given	Feb 28, 2021 at 07:17 PM #953 Okay, tomorrow's Monday. So please be back at work. __________________
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LonesomeTonight Always in This Twilight Member Since Feb 2015 Location: US Posts: 21,609 (SuperPoster!) 9 76.2k hugs given	Feb 28, 2021 at 07:26 PM #954 Dear T, Really anxious about tomorrow with D returning to school. Kinda wish I was seeing you at like 9:30 instead of 12:30, but maybe it's better that it's the middle of the day. Love, LT
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ArtieTheSequal Writing my way through... Member Since Feb 2020 Location: In the desert of my soul Posts: 7,594 (SuperPoster!) 4 6,007 hugs given	Feb 28, 2021 at 07:55 PM #955 ...............
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captgut Grand Poohbah Member Since Jan 2017 Location: Here Posts: 1,731 7 1,505 hugs given	Mar 01, 2021 at 05:08 AM #956 I'm sorry you're burning out and can't work as much as earlier, but seeing you once a month or less frequently is not enough, especially because I'm just checked out of a psych yard. What shall we do?
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Mountaindewed Legendary Wise Elder Member Since Jun 2016 Location: Where the sidewalk ends Posts: 38,743 (SuperPoster!) 8 9,742 hugs given	Mar 01, 2021 at 06:05 AM #957 I’m pretty sure you are going to wonder how today went with the new T. I don’t think I’ll be pushed out of your mind that soon. Even though that’s what I’m trying to do with you. __________________ I'm Blue
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Merope Veteran Member Member Since Jan 2018 Location: Somewhere in a cloud Posts: 719 6 479 hugs given	Mar 01, 2021 at 08:09 AM #959 I can’t wait to see you this week!
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comrademoomoo Grand Poohbah Member Since Feb 2019 Location: Toodlepip Posts: 1,837 5	Mar 01, 2021 at 11:20 AM #960 Nicely timed cancellation, you cankerous old todgeweed.
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