When to end???

I just had this crazy feeling come over me that therapy is turning me into some selfish green monster...I mean where's the balance between taking care of oneself and becoming totally self-centred??? I'm not sure whats triggered this it could be that I feel so tired of working on myself that I decided not to go into work this morning. My sick record for the whole of last yr was 4 days total, I mean I've become a reliable employee since I got sober, but I just needed to not go to work today nor tomorrow and hopefully nor the next day..hubby phoned in for me and the person who answered was less then caring...I'm not sure if old tapes have kicked in where I was ostrisized from the family when I did something like go out and play for to long and not be indoors doing some household chore...or if I am just sick and tired of doing all this %#@&#! work on my head where each time you feel your gaining some ground you feel back in the pit again.....I just feel I dont want to be responsible for anyone or anytihng right now...my kids ages twins 14 son 19 are take, take, take, which is normal for kids but I am so %#@&#! fed up with worrying about whether I'm doing good enought for them that I just want everyone to %#@&#! off and I want to curl up into al ittle ball...yeah yeah yeah I can hear T saying yes it is hard trying to balance living and therapy..but words are only words, this is the real deal it is %#@&#! hard...and I still ain't turn into no %#@&#! saint, just become more aware of what a selfish ***** I can be...%#@&#! beam me up scotty and end this..........this..............this.......whatever this is!

Excuse me, but you only have yourself! You are supposed to be self-centered. If you're wobbling all over the place, bumping into and upsetting everyone around you, what good is that?

(((Mouse)))

It sounds like you are falling into a depression, maybe with a biological base? Are you taking medication--does it need adjustment?

I agree. Therapy sucks. Cant' even go there right now myself.

Take gentle care.

(((( Mouse ))))

maybe something is brewing underneath it all.

((((( mouse )))))