[emmaleemochizuki]

So today, there was a lot of sighs from my T when I started talking about how I felt so similar to how I was 2 years ago and immediately the whole tone of session became dead cold.

2 years ago, I went from being healthy to extremely underweight in just a few months, she knew I had an eating disorder, but it probably was still shocking for her to actually see me almost disappearing into thin air, and getting thinner and thinner every week.

I have the feeling that kind of traumatised her, and today she just kept sighing.

I don't know, it's weird. And it almost made me feel guilty that I made her felt that way. It must have been horrible for her to see me getting worse and worse. She never talked about how I possibly effected her, but every time she seem to have this deep sadness towards it, and I know at the time she was so worried about me she even gave me her personal number, which I found it's something extreme from her as she's psychoanalytic oriented.

In your position, I would consider how the key phrases you use here might actually be descriptions of how you feel about yourself - in other words, they sound like projections to me.

dead cold : what parts of you feel dead cold?
it probably was still shocking for her to actually see me almost disappearing into thin air : did you want to disappear into thin air?
traumatised her : her trauma or yours?
It must have been horrible for her to see me getting worse and worse : what were the horrible aspects for you as you became worse and worse?
deep sadness towards it : her sadness or yours?

These are just my crude questions, but it is worth considering your feelings rather than imagining hers. Perhaps you are expressing concern about her when the concern is yours for you. I don't mean that she doesn't feel some concern or warmth towards you, it would be strange if she didn't, but I think such emphasis avoids the value of therapy.

[emmaleemochizuki]

Thank you a lot for your reply.

Definitely make me consider things a bit differently.

You are right its more to do with me than her.

Originally Posted by comrademoomoo

In your position, I would consider how the key phrases you use here might actually be descriptions of how you feel about yourself - in other words, they sound like projections to me.

dead cold : what parts of you feel dead cold?
it probably was still shocking for her to actually see me almost disappearing into thin air : did you want to disappear into thin air?
traumatised her : her trauma or yours?
It must have been horrible for her to see me getting worse and worse : what were the horrible aspects for you as you became worse and worse?
deep sadness towards it : her sadness or yours?

These are just my crude questions, but it is worth considering your feelings rather than imagining hers. Perhaps you are expressing concern about her when the concern is yours for you. I don't mean that she doesn't feel some concern or warmth towards you, it would be strange if she didn't, but I think such emphasis avoids the value of therapy.

[Fuzzybear]

Originally Posted by comrademoomoo

In your position, I would consider how the key phrases you use here might actually be descriptions of how you feel about yourself - in other words, they sound like projections to me.

dead cold : what parts of you feel dead cold?
it probably was still shocking for her to actually see me almost disappearing into thin air : did you want to disappear into thin air?
traumatised her : her trauma or yours?
It must have been horrible for her to see me getting worse and worse : what were the horrible aspects for you as you became worse and worse?
deep sadness towards it : her sadness or yours?

These are just my crude questions, but it is worth considering your feelings rather than imagining hers. Perhaps you are expressing concern about her when the concern is yours for you. I don't mean that she doesn't feel some concern or warmth towards you, it would be strange if she didn't, but I think such emphasis avoids the value of therapy.