[Mountaindewed]

She’s just been rude and passive aggressive lately. She refused to have any contact with me during my IOP which I do get. Last week I was in crisis and immediately after I sent her an email she put up her “out of office sign” then today my Pdoc needed some info from me to give to her since he doesn’t give out his email. I had my mom send the info to her because I didn’t want to screw anything else up. My mom didn’t get an out of office email and got a response in an hour. Last week was the first time she had an out of office email. Then on Monday she said she doesn’t care if my problems are physical she won’t work with me until I complete the IOP program. My case manager told me it sounds like I do have some type of underlying physical issue causing everything.

She’s just been different lately and I don’t know why. It just makes me feel unlikeable and a burden. But then today I’ve gotten a lot of support from other people who I can tell legit care including my pdoc. Maybe my therapist doesn’t think I’m worth it because I’ll be moving next spring. My mom said she may be frustrated that I’m getting worse while working with her and not better. Like she’s responsible or something. My mom says it sounds like she has her own set of problems.

Also the last time we met I was talking about my SI and she said if I did anything she’d lose her job and not be able to provide for her family And she didn’t mention anything about how my own family would feel if something happened. It’s like she was just trying to save herself.

Out of office replies are automatic so you would have received an an immediate reply notifying you that she was out of office. Presumably, your parent didn't receive the same notification because your therapist was no longer out of office.

In any case, have you said to her what you have said in this post? "I think you have been rude and passive aggressive recently. Can you explain that?". As uncomfortable as this kind of interaction is, these are the kind of exchanges which have been productive for me.

Going by your previous threads, you could also add that you often perceive her to be evil or a psychopath and see what material emerges as a result of that disclosure about your feelings.

[Mountaindewed]

I told her one time recently I felt like she was acting unprofessional. I never asked her if she was evil but one time when her moods were weird during sessions I asked her if she was bipolar. And she looked confused and said “no. Bipolar is all about the mood swings and talking fast.” While she was literally doing both of those things the entire session.

I do plan on talking to her when I see her in a few weeks. I’ve held back from another weird and rude therapist and have regretted not speaking up and calling her out. I’m trying to be more assertive with this one so when I do move I don’t regret it and have angry feelings like I do with the other therapist. Out of all the T’s I’ve had this is only my second therapist who has become like this. So I know it is me but I feel like a lot of it is her.

[SlumberKitty]

Originally Posted by Mountaindewed

Also the last time we met I was talking about my SI and she said if I did anything she’d lose her job and not be able to provide for her family And she didn’t mention anything about how my own family would feel if something happened. It’s like she was just trying to save herself.

Hi @Mountaindewed, just wanted to reply to this part of your post. I know it feels that way--that she is only caring about herself and her family. I think some--not all--some mental health professionals get freaked out about SI. Even when I went to the hospital in January for SH the ER doctor was YELLING at me. I couldn't understand his anger. Like sheesh, what is wrong with you dude? My T explained that if he made the wrong choice and sent me home and then I did commit S, he could be in a lot of trouble or face a lawsuit. Plus he would have my death on his head. I was like, why it wouldn't be his fault? But she says that is what it feels like.


I think there is a great deal of responsibility that mental health professionals feel when working with someone who is having SI. And if they are managing and taking good care of themselves and getting proper supervision and have experience, most--again not all--will manage that responsibility. But some mental health professionals freak out. And some respond poorly. Not because they don't care about you or your family. But because it is such a heavy responsibility. If something--Heaven forbid--did happen to you, they would have to carry that for the rest of their life. That they missed something. That they didn't help enough. That they failed in some way. That's heavy stuff. So while her words were poorly chosen, I do think that she is sincerely thinking through the consequences of what would happen if you for some reason did commit S.


I hope you feel better soon.

[Mountaindewed]

That’s awful that the doctor was yelling at you. I fully expected my Pdoc to yell at me today but he was professional and really nice and friendly and was asking how program was going and then he just asked calmly when was the last time I had SI and if I was having any now. He didn’t freak out the way my therapist did. He actually wanted to talk to my primary before making any med changes which made me feel like he really did care and understood my situation and could see what was actually going on.

[SlumberKitty]

Originally Posted by Mountaindewed

That’s awful that the doctor was yelling at you. I fully expected my Pdoc to yell at me today but he was professional and really nice and friendly and was asking how program was going and he then he just asked calmly when was the last time I had SI and if I was having any now. He didn’t freak out the way my therapist did. He actually wanted to talk to my primary before making any med changes which made me feel like he really did care and understand my situation and could see what was going on.

I'm glad the Pdoc reacted so well and was calm. Consulting with another doctor like your primary is a good idea. For a while I had a case manager and she talked to all my providers to get them all on the same page. That was good.

[nottrustin]

I work in an IOP program. Here it is customary for therapists and pdocs to not work with clients while they are in IOP. One major reason is that many insurances will not pay for clients to see both at the same time. It is seen as double dipping. Also if they are requiring a client to attend IOP as a condition of continuing treatment, they often express that the client is in an emotional place where they are feeling it is beyond their skill set. So they often avoid working with the client during that time so that the client will focus on the IOP program. This is not all therapists do this just what often happens.