[weaverbeaver]

Does your t ever make you breakfast?
My t has started to make me breakfast for our sessions. In some ways it’s nice that she goes to the trouble but in many ways it makes me uncomfortable. T knows I have issues with food all of my life and thinks that this will help me, because I hate eating in front of people.
I appreciate my TVs gesture and don’t want to rude but it just feels really uncomfortable.

[Mountaindewed]

I had a therapist in a treatment center when I was 14 who brought in McDonald’s breakfast one time and we ate it in her office.

The only thing current T has offered me was a pack of almonds.

I did ask my current T one time if she had any food. Because I was so hungry. She looked confused and then said “no, I don’t.” I honestly think she would have given me something if she had it.

[Lostislost]

No he hasn’t given me any food. I dreamt he did once though.

If you are uncomfortable with it I would just be honest with her how it makes you feel. You don’t have to pretend to like anything, for anyone.

[SlumberKitty]

Former T offered me water a few times when I drove to her office that was further away. That's about it.

I agree with @Lostislost, if you are uncomfortable, let her know how you feel about it. Might open up a good discussion.

I agree, it is uncomfortable. My therapist used to do something similar for me (not food related) when we were meeting in person before Covid. I appreciated her effort and it made me feel... welcomed? borne in mind? .. but I also cringed because it seemed too intimate. I would struggle to tell her that I feel uncomfortable about it because she valued the gesture. She told me that she enjoyed making the effort and that she did it in recognition of our time together. I would feel churlish or a misery guts if I voiced my negative response.

[weaverbeaver]

Thank you for all of your responses, they are very helpful. It’s nice to put it out there and get some opinions.
I really appreciate her efforts but I always feel uncomfortable when people go to great efforts for me or when I am in an intimate situation. T eats breakfast with me and it’s not a big deal for her as she doesn’t have the same issues with food as I have- I am assuming that.
It’s all grist for the mill and something I need to bring up with her next time. She always makes me feel very welcome and I have had other therapists that would never dram of doing this.

Originally Posted by weaverbeaver

I have had other therapists that would never dram of doing this.

Did that feel safer?

[*Beth*]

I don't have an ED, but I would feel incredibly self-conscious to eat with my T...or anyone except family or close friends. I dunno, maybe I'm weird. I'd definitely bring it up with her. I'm thinking that she wants to talk with you about how it feels for you to eat with her.

[divine1966]

Mine offered me water, tea and coffee. I did accepted tea couple of times and water. Coffee was too late in the day for me. I’d only eat if it’s needed like I am feeling sick/nauseous/have a headache, otherwise I’d not want to eat. Is she actually cooking it? I am wary of others’ cooking

[ArtieTheSequal]

My t used to have a pitcher of water and a glass on the table between us. Some sessions I used to empty the pitcher haha, talking is thirsty work! She never had food though. I brought in gingerbread one time and we shared it, that was nice. I agree with others if it makes you uncomfortable, I think talking about it could be a good discussion.

[weaverbeaver]

Originally Posted by divine1966

Mine offered me water, tea and coffee. I did accepted tea couple of times and water. Coffee was too late in the day for me. I’d only eat if it’s needed like I am feeling sick/nauseous/have a headache, otherwise I’d not want to eat. Is she actually cooking it? I am wary of others’ cooking

Me too, I have a huge phobia of eating others cooking. She just makes toast, brown bread or cereal.

[weaverbeaver]

Originally Posted by comrademoomoo

Did that feel safer?

Yes, because I could subsequently ignore my issues with food. Now it feels like they are staring me in the face. I have no choice but to deal with them in the here and now with t and it’s scary.

[nottrustin]

Originally Posted by weaverbeaver

Yes, because I could subsequently ignore my issues with food. Now it feels like they are staring me in the face. I have no choice but to deal with them in the here and now with t and it’s scary.

Do you think this is why she is doing it?

She hasnt made me breakfast but we have eaten together many times. Its been very healing and one of the main reasons I am no longer anorexic, After over 20 years.

[divine1966]

I suspect she is doing it as a therapy process helping you with ED. Not just randomly cooks food for every client. I’d talk to her about it to make sure you understand what’s happening.