Couch 224: 2day, 2morrow, 4evah!

LonesomeTonight · Feb 04, 2021, 02:51 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by chihirochild

Ugh, I’ve been reacting really poorly to my last bout of night shifts. I was only getting about 4 hours of sleep during the day for about a week and none at night; now I feel super jet lagged and headachey and nauseous and just gross. (I don’t think I’m actually ill with anything because I don’t have a fever or a cough or whatnot, and I’ve felt like this before when I’ve been super exhausted.)

The weird part is that I’m weirdly afraid of how the BF will react to this. I don’t want to do that thing where I inhabit the sick role for attention... but I legitimately feel awful. I feel like I’m disappointing him bc he wants to do stuff (well, as much stuff as one can do during a pandemic) and have fun and all I’m capable of is lying around and taking Tylenol and feeling gross. He’s being super nice about it but I still feel bad. What’s up with that?

Hugs, if wanted. Out of curiosity, do you generally have trouble letting people take care of you? Wondering if it's a pattern maybe going back to childhood, like not wanting to be a burden, for example. (Wondering in part because I have that issue.)

From the other time you were sick and BF left all kinds of groceries at your door, it sounds like he likes taking care of people he cares about. And I'm sure he understands that you're not up for doing much right now. I'm exhausted just thinking about doing night shifts.

Hope you feel better soon.

SlumberKitty · Feb 04, 2021, 02:54 PM

I've been having hallucinations/delusions/compulsions one of those to

Possible trigger:

hurt my wrist

I texted T about it two days ago and she texted back. Then we texted yesterday. I'm still struggling with it but I don't want to text her again today (especially because I see her on Saturday). But it is getting really intense. I've been texting my friends that I go to for support. Then I was texting a former coworker turned friend about it and when I mentioned what I am going through the conversation just went silent. Bleh. I hate that. It just makes me feel bad for bringing it up and it makes me feel like no one understands. It's been a tough 10 days or so. Just a little while back I was like do I really need T anymore? Obviously I do! I just wish she could wave a magic wand and make me better!

atisketatasket · Feb 04, 2021, 03:03 PM

I loathe Info’s new place. And I’m not even in the office yet.

The building is behind a heavily trafficked shopping center and half covered with scaffolding. And the waiting room smells like therapist.

chihirochild · Feb 04, 2021, 03:17 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by LonesomeTonight

Hugs, if wanted. Out of curiosity, do you generally have trouble letting people take care of you? Wondering if it's a pattern maybe going back to childhood, like not wanting to be a burden, for example. (Wondering in part because I have that issue.)

From the other time you were sick and BF left all kinds of groceries at your door, it sounds like he likes taking care of people he cares about. And I'm sure he understands that you're not up for doing much right now. I'm exhausted just thinking about doing night shifts.

Hope you feel better soon.

Those are good points, LT.

I like being taken care of, but these days I pathologize that part of myself and label it as a BPD thing... probably not the best?

And the BF does seem to like taking care of people... I guess I just worry that he’ll get sick of it, that the initial extreme niceness was just a show and he’ll turn out to be not that lovely in the end. I’m not sure why I’m so afraid of that.

unaluna · Feb 04, 2021, 04:09 PM

@@ - is that smell pumpkin spice or coffee?

unaluna · Feb 04, 2021, 04:16 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ArtieTheSequal

h just told me i need to "be like an amoeba and go through life and just do the things you enjoy". yeah ok what?!

That might explain things! Is that his own world view? Ive heard men vs women world view is competition vs cooperation, but this sounds like unconsciousness! I dont think amoeba have a brain cell! Maybe you should write these things down.

ArtieTheSequal · Feb 04, 2021, 04:22 PM

I like the smell in L's office, it's very comforting. She almost always has a candle burning when I am there. Usually it smells like palo santo which I like, sage, or other incense-type stuff. Of course it's a home office and she has complete control over that, which she didn't back years ago when I saw her in an office building.

ArtieTheSequal · Feb 04, 2021, 04:24 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by unaluna

That might explain things! Is that his own world view? Ive heard men vs women world view is competition vs cooperation, but this sounds like unconsciousness! I dont think amoeba have a brain cell! Maybe you should write these things down.

I did ask him for clarification on what he meant by amoeba. I said to me it sounds like you want me to act like I have no brain. He said no that's not what I meant. I knew I shouldn't have said that. I'm like then why did you? He said all I meant was you think too much.

Well, that's true enough.

eta: I'm actually finally making progress in standing up for myself to these stupid little comments he makes. Instead of getting emotional and crying now I'm asking him what he meant by that, or telling him not talk to me that way, etc. I'm proud of myself for that. It's been a long time coming.

He is extremely competitive.

ArtieTheSequal · Feb 04, 2021, 04:34 PM

Today has been a weird day for me. I worked on several difficult cases this afternoon and had to call a bunch of people and I am just done with this week. Today is my friday. I processed 42 messages by my 2pm break and I just told h you know, I'm done. No more. I'm above the minimum daily requirement so I'm not going to do any more work for the last 27 minutes of my shift. I'm wiped for the week, my shoulder's been bothering me all day, and I'm ready to see L tomorrow.

Salmon77 · Feb 04, 2021, 04:43 PM

Quote:

eta: I'm actually finally making progress in standing up for myself to these stupid little comments he makes. Instead of getting emotional and crying now I'm asking him what he meant by that, or telling him not talk to me that way, etc. I'm proud of myself for that. It's been a long time coming.

I saw this in the other thread, and I think it's really great that you're calling him out on this stuff. The way he slips these little insults into your conversations is so disrespectful, and even if he says he's joking—well, I don't make jokes like that about people I respect. You deserve respect from your partner. I hope you get it.

atisketatasket · Feb 04, 2021, 04:43 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by unaluna

@@ - is that smell pumpkin spice or coffee?

Rotting potpourri.

SlumberKitty · Feb 04, 2021, 05:23 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by atisketatasket

Rotting potpourri.

Ugh, that's the worst!

atisketatasket · 06:16 PM

So Info was like close to my ideal therapist today.

She was professional and focused.

Nothing too sappy and nonsensical and over-validating and love-hack-y.

Fashion report: pink sweater with a pretty big knitting gauge (and I assume something underneath), blue leggings, loafers, no socks. No cleavage. No earrings or otherwise noticeable jewelry. No sexy shoes. Quite plain for her. Also I think she's gained a little weight.

At one point we were going through my therapist history and I let on I gave my therapists nicknames. Now she knows hers (which amused her) and everyone else's. "So after you left Biker Chick you started with...?"

She also gave me a stuffed bear to try to make up for the missing animals.

ArtieTheSequal · Feb 04, 2021, 06:16 PM

It sounds like it was a good session, I'm glad.

ArtieTheSequal · Feb 04, 2021, 06:24 PM

I've decided that we have lost our minds wanting to buy a house right now. They're going contingent almost the minute they hit the market. It's wild. I don't know how anybody is getting them.

ScarletPimpernel · Feb 04, 2021, 06:25 PM

L knows I call her L on here. She's adopted it and calls herself L or signs L...lol. And we call husband H and ex-T ex-T.

LonesomeTonight · Feb 04, 2021, 06:36 PM

Glad the session went well, ATAT. It's good she was amused by her nickname.

I've told Dr. T that he's "Dr. T" on here and also the nickname I use with a couple friends. It's a take on his last name, like...say his last name was "Bardot," the name would be "Bardy" (ok, not the most original, but...) It came about early on in that email where he said he wants clients to call him "Dr. T" because if they call him by his first name and ask him how he's doing, then he'll answer them more like a friend than if they call him by "Dr. [last name]." And we were trying to come up with some other name to call him by. He seemed amused when I told him we call him that. And occasionally I'll slip when talking about something a friend said about him, like "And then they said, 'I can't believe Bardy said that to you.'" He tend to just smile.

chihirochild · Feb 04, 2021, 06:44 PM

If I ever told my current T that his former nickname on this forum was HWMNBN (a la Voldemort), he’d just laugh. The bastard.

Daffydungle · Feb 04, 2021, 06:44 PM

I really wish Chidi in the Good Place would stop taking his shirt off. Its so distracting.

ArtieTheSequal · Feb 04, 2021, 07:30 PM

I've never seen that show, I might have to check it out on my vacation next week.

stopdog · Feb 04, 2021, 08:17 PM

I think therapists get their egos stroked when they find out clients do such things.

atisketatasket · Feb 04, 2021, 08:25 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by stopdog

I think therapists get their egos stroked when they find out clients do such things.

Considering how her nickname came from a typo and also how I had to spell “quietly” for her today, she should not feel ego stroked.

ArtieTheSequal · Feb 04, 2021, 08:27 PM

One of my friends I used to work with who lives in Texas I think now, messaged me the other day with a link to a picture of slippers she wants me to make for her upcoming new grandbaby. I just found the pattern so I'm going to make them during my vacation next week! They're soooo cute - look like little pineapples.