Couch 224: 2day, 2morrow, 4evah!

You absolutely do get to have boundaries, I'm sorry he's not respecting them. I can get a t being pushy, I mean L gets that way sometimes when she thinks the timing is right, but I honestly feel that if they get mad at a client if the client doesn't want to talk about the thing - that part of what we pay them for in the first place is to keep their feelings about stuff like this to themselves during our sessions.

My therapist behaves like this when she wants to avoid colluding with me. She can be a mess with boundaries though so draw your own conclusions.

Have you tried directly telling him "hey, this is my boundary and you're stomping all over it"?

You really do deserve a better T Chihro.

Going beyond what you're' comfortable with is not okay.

I hope you can find some comfort and softness amongst the unwellness, SlumberKitty.

Thanks so much @comrademoomoo, that's the nicest thing anyone has said to me in a while. I wish I could leave work early, go home and hide under the covers but I'm being good and adulting and staying at work where there's nothing to do except for my mind to ruminate and make me miserable. I'm comforting myself a little by the thought of getting off work in a few hours and going home and reading more of Ann Cleaves The Crow Trap. I made it to part 2 in 2 days which is amazing for me. And I want to see where she goes with it.

Plan B: find a therapist who is not a controlling asshole.

Good session today, there were some light moments where we laughed about a couple things but then she asked more about my always saying "I don't know". I say it a lot in real life and in therapy. We got uncomfortably deep into where that comes from. I have a lot of work to do in this area...

I am shocked that word made it through the filters, when it blocks out the nickname for Richard! haha!

I say I don't know a lot too. A friend of mine told me to not accept this as an answer. To keep going until I find the answer. It was intimidating at first, and sometimes I still say I don't know, but I do it less now. And when I talk to that friend if I say I don't know, she'll say, keep going. So Artie, dear friend, keep going.

I forget why—either *** is not filtered, or compounds of certain filtered words are not filtered.

ETA: guess that’s the answer. So what happens if I post about outfielder Josh Reddick?

That apparently works! So, in the future: "Reddick."

Incidentally, to get by censors on Washington Post, Carolyn Hax (advice columnist) once used "Glass bowl" (think of what the words rhyme with, like take off the first two letters of the first word). And now that's become commonplace in her chat.

Thank you for this! I like it, the keep going thing. It's a lot easier for me to understand than the Jungian idea L was talking about earlier, sometimes she give me a little too much credit in the intelligence department. I'm still not sure I really at all grasp what she was trying to explain to me....

Ooh, that must be where I got "glass bowl." I have been known to use it in quiz questions. "Alexander the Great is..." a) a glass bowl etc.

Maybe so! I can't guarantee it started with her, but it's the first time I saw it, and it's included in the Frequently Used Chat Terms.


I've been reading her chats (and columns, but like chats better) for more than 15 years. She gives very down-to-earth advice with a nice dose of snark. Her Holiday Hootenannys are great, where people tell family holiday horror stories. She usually has wedding ones, too.

Looooove the hax!

I don't think I know who she is. I never heard the glass bowl thing

I think you would like Hax...though she often recommends finding a therapist.

Is it for some public service thing? Like there are a lot of lost therapists who need to be rescued or something?

Maybe she gets kickbacks from the professional organizations.

At least she specifies they be good therapists, not Reddickish ones.

Carolyn Hax must have a therapy frequent flyer punch card. I personally am one referral away from getting a free week of intensive outpatient.

And yet when they do studies on themselves - it is like they all live in Lake Wobegon - where all the women are strong, all the men are good-looking, and all the therapists are above average.

It sounds right when YOU say it.

If you don't understand the first time it's perfectly okay to ask her what she means and if she can explain it differently. Asking for clarification doesn't mean your not intelligent. Everyone has things they know better. Sure it would be the same if you had to explain your work stuff to her.

Una I was watching this now. Think you might like it too. I like tiny apartments, but the first one made me feel claustrophobic.