Couch 224: 2day, 2morrow, 4evah!

Yes - this

You deserve so much better. Hugs if wanted. He's seriously awful.

Maybe start smaller, what about trying half a mile at first?

The following depends on how old your daughter is, but maybe also get them to take a doll see if they can build her a den with sticks and leaves. You could look for fairies and squirrels or see if you can find any worms. Or maybe you could also take some hot drinks with you and have a picnic. Usborne books also have lots of nice activity books too maybe you could take one with you and just sit on a bench. I love being outside, but don't get out much when my depression is bad but it's always nice to just sit too.

Yay well done!!!!

Thanks Lemon! My own experience with depression where I literally didn't move for years left me so deconditioned it is pitiful. I'm going to get better though.

My daughter is 12, in that "I'm too grown up for this" phase. So even though she loves taking pictures in the park, that didn't sway her to go. I'll keep asking, encouraging, bribing, and eventually she will come.

You're the best!

I sent an email to my psychiatrist and my PCP asking for referrals to therapists who can see me for a few months before I move across the country for my fellowship in July. My psychiatrist almost never returns my emails (which is insane because I pay her $350/hr) but I’ll bug her every few days (politely) and maybe she’ll get back to me.

Yesterday I emailed T (ex-T?) cancelling my appointments for next week. He replied and said, “OK c, will do. Could you please let me know your plans are for your future appointments?” And I wasn’t sure what he meant so I said that I didn’t know what he was asking and added that I wasn’t coming to my session today if that was what he was getting at. And he replied saying, “No c, I was just seeing if you were canceling all of your appointments with me, or just these three..” like literally that was the whole email. And that made me really mad because it feels like he’s trying to wash his hands of me and get someone else on his schedule as soon as possible.

I was so stunned that I didn’t reply. But then he sent another email two hours later and said, “Actually, I don’t want to pressure you to have to speak to this just now. I will hold your spots for as long as I can, and hope that you choose to return soon. I am concerned, but still hopeful that we can work through this together.”

Wtf is even happening???

Where would she sleep? No you aren’t being a helicopter parent. At 17 she isn’t even of legal age and travel across the country might be too much. My daughter flew all over without “unaccompanied minor” starting 16 or 17 I think. But not driving. I’d be freaking out

If he’s really hopeful he would try to compromise.

Agreed. If he was the one suggesting you needed to terminate if you won't talk about this, Chihiro, then he shouldn't be surprised if you opt to terminate. Maybe he just thought he could strong-arm you into talking about it that way. If he wants to work through it, like ATAT said, he needs to be willing to give a little, extend an olive branch, admit he was pushing you too much. To say you're welcome to come back, that you don't have to talk about that topic if you don't want to.

Since you will be relocating and most therapists are still seeing people virtually, perhaps you could start shopping for a new therapist in the area you are going to be living? I'm not sure how your insurance works or if you are paying out of pocket for your therapy too.

I thought of this, too.

Often the licensing board will not let those people practice across state lines.

I would cancel all further appointments and not deal with this jerkwad any more. He is messing with you.

The other parents need to come pick up their daughter. This is ridiculous. In my state, your daughter would not even be allowed to drive with 2 other teenagers.

I think your daughter will be fine and will have a big adventure. Good for not being over controlling and suffocating. She is not a baby, there are check in points built in, and she is not a baby. Life is not supposed to be constantly wrapped in bubble wrap.

Noodling around the fall course catalogue, I notice my school has a course on the geography of wine.

I think beer might draw in their on-site demographic better.

I've actually been giving more thought than I usually do as to what I want to talk about with T tomorrow. Usually I go in and sort of wing it which sometimes works, and sometimes leads to her having long conversations with me about books or something else non therapy. I haven't actually written a list yet but maybe mentally I have been. I like her having me track my days with a "+" a "-" or a "+/-" because it really helps me to see how I am trending. She suggested this to me before and I just didn't do it.

I hate how fast 50 minutes can go sometimes...with today's session, it felt like it was suddenly at the 30-minute point, then we suddenly only had a few minutes left.* And, to my knowledge, I don't dissociate during sessions or anything; it was all Dr. T and me talking--and talking about therapeutic/clinical stuff for like 95% of the time today, not just chatting. Though Dr. T's cooking came up again because it was tied into something I was talking about, regarding H cooking and my not liking something he made plus being worried it wasn't cooked thoroughly--thanks, contamination OCD--then feeling guilty about it. (That was a terrible sentence, but I don't have the energy to rewrite it right now.) And Dr. T saying he'd rather know if his family didn't like something (before he cooked it 4 times) and that he'd never be offended if someone thought that something he cooked needed more time (H wasn't either).

*I mentioned this to him at the end, how it felt like it had gone by quickly. I said, "Meanwhile, you're probably like, 'will this session ever end?'" He seemed to agree that it went quickly (or was a good actor--I mean, it is Friday, he's probably ready for his work week to be over).

I agree about how fast a session can go by. It happens to me almost every time! Example: we'll just be saying hey how's your day going bla bla bla, I notice it's already 5 after so I dive into something I want to work on, notice the clock again at like 15 after and think oh good I still have lots of time, but then next thing I know she's getting out her appointment book cuz it's time to stop. I swear she has her clocks rigged and the minute hand goes from the 3 to the 10 without stopping at any of the other numbers in between.

Hooray, my vacuum cleaner sucks again! haha. It wasn't picking anything up so I unplugged it, took it apart, and cleaned out the intake hose thingy or whatever it's called. It was chock full of compacted cat hair. It's working beautifully again now!

Exactly, the thought of "Oh good, I still have plenty of time" then suddenly "oh no, I'm almost out of time!"

Dr. T did tell me once that sessions with me tend to go by quickly for him as well. It was in the context of my telling him about a session (right before he was going on vacation) where I felt sort of detached, like I wasn't fully in the session. And he said that session felt like it was taking a long time to him, where he kept looking at his watch, while normally it's not like that for him. And his initial thought had been that it was him, that he was tired or didn't eat enough lunch or something. But when I said I'd felt like I was holding back and not really engaging, it made sense to him.

I suspect L thinks your sessions go by quickly, too.

A sentence can be terrible by grammatical rules but still be incredibly effective in expressing emotional state, which that one did.

I mean, grammar on one level (and not the one most people think about) is really designed to control emotion and funnel it into a more comprehensible form. (Which is why I like it.)

Yesterday it turned out that Info had watched my livestreamed class Wednesday. (I invited her to watch it sometime, but not tell me when before she did it.) She'd completely misunderstood one of my main points--that the difference between modern definitions of heroism and ancient heroism was to make modern heroism more egalitarian, more accessible to anyone not born a demi-god or the equivalent today, and also to allow people today to think of themselves as heroes more easily, even if they're not heroes.

1. I always thought time stood still at a therapy appointment. It was like "oh dear god, has it only been 5 minutes - it feels like I have been sitting here for a week"

2. The idea that everyone is a hero, or that sport playing guys are heroes, or people who simply have failed to die yet, etc are heroes is, in my opinion, one of the many signs of a declining civilization. Everyone is NOT a hero and you don't deserve a trophy for participation.

My therapy appointments usually seem like they either take too long or that they go by too fast. They never seem like an hour. Usually when they feel long it's because she's let me go over. And she's talking to me about something inconsequential. But I don't wear a watch and there's no clock I can see. It would be rude to continually pull out my phone so it's hard to have a real sense of time.


Other times it feels like the session just flies by. This is usually when I'm in crisis or dealing with some serious issue. It seems like it hasn't been enough time. And then I get to the car and see that it has or that we are even a touch over.


Time should be constant but it's not. Reminds me of a presentation I gave on time in my physics lab back in High School. It was rather dramatic and I had the main character going mad and time was increasingly erratic. I got an A on the project even though it seems more appropriate for English or something. Then again, my physics prof didn't care about grades and though they were pointless tools of the school to get him to behave like a normal teacher. I had been afraid to take physics and he said he would not let my grade drop below a B so I took physics and loved it.

I've been fighting the urge all day to email P and ask him to just say hello to me. Last time I checked my mail I got this message from him.

I'm relieved he hasn't forgotten me yet. He says he'll never forget me, but I have a hard time believing that sometimes.

Aw, that's a nice message, NP. I understand the fear of being forgotten.