Couch 227 - The Safe Couch

I'm sorry about your mother crossing your boundaries.

Maybe it's not possible depression, but you're actually struggling with real depression?

I don't know really.

Someone in my system took a lot of the violence our mother dished out over seriously tiny things or her paranoid episodes. It started really young apparently.

Mother's message is sickly sweet, like Umbridge in Harry Potter.

I'm flooded with despair and passive SI.

I cannot see my psychiatrist any earlier than June. I see T in 2 days, then we have a 3 week break. I just emailed T to ask if depending on how things go at our upcoming session, if I see her earlier than 3 weeks.

I took skipped class today, just feeling worn out.

I booked a session with new T on the 15th, but I feel like I want to cancel now.

First part of my exam will be on the 26th.

I'm sorry you're struggling so much right now. It really does seem like you need a lot more support right now. A three week wait between sessions is a lot. Is there any other T you could have as a back up?

Hugs. I hope you'll go to the therapy appointment if you think it'll help.

I never understood higher education exams, they sound so very stressful. Hugs.

Nope. We unfortunately took up Gender T's suggestion just last Monday to close our case at the gender clinic, as we've too much trauma stuff going on to be able to make good use of gender therapy.

Glad to hear you're feeling better!

How long will the process take to start again?

Can you find anyone else just for supportive therapy?

We need a new referral so 6 weeks till pdoc then possibly another couple of weeks.

Regarding supportive therapy, we're unsure. Mostly because we've trust issues and our attachment is to T. There are free time limited counselling organisations but we don't benefit from strangers, plus feel immense guilt about taking up resources.

We'll talk to some friends about light stuff and request they not mind if we fall silent. And it might sound silly but posting here helps and us reading here and reddit helps. We just don't want people to feel pressured to care or help, we were a burden our entire life to our family and burned out friends so we just want to not bother people.

I saw my (ex)T today - we finished CBT a couple of weeks ago but she had a meeting this week with the rest of the team to discuss the next steps in my treatment, and..... nothing.
They are discharging me from the psychology service


She said that they can't offer me long-term therapy (NHS won't pay for it because I am not sick enough) and they don't want to give me false hope and make me worse.
I knew from the start that this would happen (because it happened last time I had therapy, 3 years ago. I was just discharged even though I was desperate) and she promised me time and time again that it would not happen this time. Even in our last session she was talking about arranging for me to have compassion focused therapy and there being other things that could help me.
I can't deal with this on my own but I literally have nobody, tomorrow it is

I don't feel safe but nobody cares. Crisis line just tell me to ring my MH duty team but last time I did that they didn't even bother to call me back...

I'm so sorry Little Black Dog. You deserve better from the NHS.

We have a Dyson fan. Definitely worth it for us. It's quiet and very effective in our front sitting room that is always particularly warm.

We have a Shark vacuum which is quite good and not quite the hefty Dyson price.

The show In treatment returns for a fourth season. Not with Paul though.

In Treatment - Official Website for the HBO Series

Seriously. Wtf at my mother. After I set the boundary with my younger brother, she messaged my fiancé. Gahhhh!

He didn't show me her message but I guess it was more attempts by her to manipulate him to get me to talk to her. He read out his response to her on how he won't betray my trust, and that I had made it very clear I don't want contact with her.

I don't think she'll stop because I know her, but it really helps that he's being my buffer.

I'm sorry you're struggling so much right now and the help you've been given is lacking.

Maytree also offers support, but you should go to A&E if you feel unsafe.
Home | Maytree

thanks, i hadn't seen that. i liked that show!

Feeling happy today because I am going out with my bestie tonight to dinner (in a restaurant) I haven't seen her since before Christmas even though we live in the same town. Just Covid and stuff. Plus her Mom died of Covid so she's been traveling to Las Vegas on the weekends to be with her Dad so I haven't wanted to take up her week time.


Feeling nervous. We are getting a new operations manager on Monday. It hasn't been announced. But because I am HR I know about it. I haven't met him and don't know anything about him and yet I'm supposed to onboard him without having seen his resume or anything. I'm like oh-kay. So I'm HR (and accounting) but I didn't have anything to do with this hire and know nothing about the guy. I have a lump in my throat and my stomach feels off and I don't know why they aren't announcing it. I don't know if I am supposed to report to him or to the GM or who? And I asked and I didn't get my question answered.


I should have called into work today but then I would have been sitting at home feeling anxious. I might as well feel anxious at work and get paid for it.


HUGS would be great. Thanks, Kit

Happy Cinco de Mayo to anyone who celebrates. It's a huge thing here in So. CA.

I stopped watching it a few episodes into season 2 because it was just so annoying and not worth it to me...but how can they have it without Paul? He and Dianne Wiest made the show with their acting.

Thanks. I can't/won't go to A&E - mostly because I am just wasting their time but also because the psychiatry team there decided that it is in my best interests if they don't bother coming to see/assess me but just ping me back to the MH duty team who may or may not phone me in the next few days



I am at the point of giving up. I am most upset that my therapist promised me so many times that I wouldn't just be discharged again and that is exactly what happened, and now I don't know how I can believe anything else she said - especially when she said she cared about me

My T doesn't like homework. The rare times she set one, we talked about how it shouldn't be too easy or too difficult. I've successfully done some but never ever do any of her "write an angry letter to someone and not send it."

This week feels like it's lasted ten years. I'm not quite sure I've grasped everything yet.

It is possible that she cared about you AND over promised AND can't restructure and fund NHS services.

You do have other (albeit limited) choices. Have you looked at:

the free psychotherapy network – free psychotherapy for people on low incomes and benefits

In particular Other affordable options for people on low incomes – the free psychotherapy network

From personal experience, you could consider approaching a private therapist who offers low/no cost places to a small number of clients. There might be a waiting list of course, but it is possible to source support in this way. On average, I pay my therapist £10 a session as a token payment - periodically she offers to work with me for free.

Also, if you don't present to services such as A&E, you won't be able to access the limited support which is available to you. I understand reluctance to engage with psychiatric services, but if you are unwell you need to take steps to take care of yourself.

HUGS @LostOnTheTrail

If anyone wants to buy a 112 room home at bargain price of 750k!

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Or you could buy a single beach hut for half the price.

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