Feeling extra confused and low about recent session

I’m not sure what’s going on with me, yesterday morning I was looking forward to taking something I drew (from a dream) to therapy and seeing what it might be. It’s been months since I did any art as I’ve been really ill. Anyway I took it to him and the whole thing flopped, he said it was interesting and it reminded him of some stuff but I didn’t really get any answers.

Then when I left I remembered how when I take any art stuff to show him, it usually ends up with me feeling ****** after. He doesn’t say anything bad about it but I just get the feeling he doesn’t like what I do, it doesn’t relate to anything inside him and makes me feel super lonely and misundersood.

I used to share photos of it on a private Twitter account to him as it felt safer, but had to stop doing that as he didn’t know what he was looking at and he seemed to not enjoy that kind of communication. He always encourages me to bring art I made in to therapy, which seems odd when all it does is make a huge gap between us.

Sorry this is so long I just don’t know how to feel or what to do. I’ve just slept since I saw him because I don’t want to be awake. I’m so tired.

This would be a fruitful discussion to have with him. You don't know for sure what he is thinking or feeling but you are attributing a particular reaction i.e. that he doesn't like your art.

Clearly, he is not 'getting' what you are trying to show/tell him through your art.

I would tell him how you feel as this is clearly affecting you. Can you tell him next time you see him that you feel lonely, misunderstood + feeling he doesn't like what you do. Not in an accusatory way but being honest with your truth.

I avoid showing people my art unless they insist, for whatever reason. If they don’t like it, they’d be forced to compliment it and it’s awkward. Is there a therapeutic value in sharing your art with a therapist? If not, maybe it’s better to show it to friends or family or other artists.

yea Ive been there with the same things happening. one time when my then treatment provider was from my point of view uncaring and not responding to my artwork like I imagined he would, I asked him what the deal was, was he really a cold hearted huuum huum hum. he actually burst out in laughter and told me he enjoys seeing my artwork, he loves I have a way to express myself. He does not feel its his place to critique my artwork as he is not an art specialist, and its not his place to tell me what my artwork seems to be saying. that its my artwork, and he is assuming I am not painting just to please him, just to get him to respond to my paintings. his example question... did you pull out your paints, easel, paper while saying Im going to make this for "Jake" he will be so proud of me, he will love this? I told him of course not I dont manipulate my therapists by doing my artwork to please or get attention from them.

then he told me that any time I brought artwork to him, he expects me to walk in, show him the artwork and tell him myself the back story, on it with out his trying to critique or interpret it. its my artwork so only I know why I pulled out the paints, easel and paper and made it, Im the only one that can say whether its a good painting or bad or what emotions is in it and so forth.

he was not going to sit there poking and prodding with questions and his opinions to get me to talk about my own artwork. someone who uses the arts for expression of emotions, dreams, hopes knows and is able to explain their own works of arts.

then he asked me if I had any plans for a gallery show lol

my point is maybe thats what your therapist wants, they dont want you to fall into drawing and so forth just for them, their opinions and attention. they want you to tell them about your artwork and how you feel about your own artwork, you are the artist, the one most qualified to know how and why and what your intended purpose of the artwork is.

suggestion maybe you can sit down with your drawing and wrote about what it means to you, why you drew it and what you hope to get out of the drawing of it. that will tell you where to go next with it.

Sharing something creative tends to be highly emotionally charged because it's so personal to you. I've had similar experiences in the past when trying to share writing and other things that my then T didn't respond well to. In my case I knew she didn't because she told me. She was never the most tactful persona anyway, but it hurt me terribly. If you think your T would respond well, maybe try telling him how you experience his reaction to your art, as someone else suggested. It could open up a really useful dialogue about what you need from him and the process of sharing your art. I'm sorry you feel so bad, I know it's so very painful taking the chance of sharing something so deeply personal and then not getting the response you wanted.

If he has formal training in art therapy as a modality (as opposed to simply being open to clients sharing art in sessions), it will be part of his role to purposely remain neutral about the work you produce. This is in order to keep the focus on you and your responses/processes, as well as not praising you for producing "good" work. The quality of what you share is irrelevant after all, he is not a gallery curator.

I was in art therapy for a couple of years and it was immensely helpful. One of things I really appreciate when I look back is how the therapist kept the space "clean" of his input to allow me to explore what I needed. By contrast, my current therapist, who is not an art therapist, has emotional responses to art work I take to session. She is very moved by it, complimentary, wants to get involved with the work by holding it and so on. This can be thrilling and intimate, but it can also be double edged. When she doesn't respond like that, I feel as if my work isn't good enough.

What I am trying to say is that his neutrality might be an opportunity for you to dig deep into your self without concern about his self.

Thanks for the replies. The thought of painting or making something just to please my T makes me feel sick, I wouldn't do that.

Honestly I don't know why I make what I make. Most of them don't have a specific meaning that I can come up with. The one I took in yesterday was just an image from a dream I had, so I thought it would make for an interesting session as we often talk in depth about dreams. I could ask him like some of you said, but in my heart I know he will just remain neutral and wait for me to decide. That is not what I need from him.

So something that I bristled at in your original post was the idea that you seem to want your therapist to provide some answers about the art. That’s simply not the therapist’s job, even if they’re an art therapist. I don’t know that I would want my therapist to give me what he thinks the answers to my problems. I feel it’s more appropriate for my therapist to frame conversations in a way that allows me to find my own truth. So I guess I look at this situation that the therapist may have thoughts and opinions about the art, but is that really that important what someone else thinks?

From your post, it sounds to me like you're looking for your therapist to give you a critique on your art, and then analyze it. My opinion is that how you feel would be a great topic for discussion with your T.

What is the reason for sharing art work with a therapist? Is it the same as a child bringing their coloring to a parent to get praise? To have them proud of you? You need to ask that part of you, that wants to share the art with the therapist, what is it they want and why? Then maybe you can get to the bottom of something.

Uh no, it's nothing like a child bringing their colouring to a parent to get praise. I mean I guess it might be like that for other people.

He encourages me to bring in art, to do stuff, create it etc. I guess he thinks it would be valuable to our sessions, but it doesn't seem to work out like that most of the time. Don't know why. I know I'm meant to talk about it with him, but we have so little time to discuss everything and I'm just so tired.

Not everyone knows how to talk about art or how to give feedback about people’s work. It’s not necessarily about you or your work. It could be that he doesn’t appreciate or understand art. It could be that he does but has never learned how to discuss it.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Favorite Jeans Not everyone knows how to talk about art or how to give feedback about people’s work. It’s not necessarily about you or your work. It could be that he doesn’t appreciate or understand art. It could be that he does but has never learned how to discuss it.

That's an excellent point.

I think I can relate to this post. I've felt very similar with a therapist who didn't seem to ''get'' what I was showing him. It's a very uncomfortable feeling. I guess it could be that the T hasn't learnt how to discuss art. Or that he doesn't appreciate, or understand it.

I'm one of those people who doesn't know how to relate to art - apart from being interested from a historical perspective as I do enjoy history. It's not that I dislike art, it's just not really my thing. I am not a creative person in general and have a hard time understanding what it's like to be artistic in any way. I am sometimes jealous of people who can draw well, mostly because I have to depend on the artists on etsy to draw the likenesses of my dogs and cat.

If I were a therapist, I'm not sure how I'd react to my clients' art but it would probably be disappointing. That would especially be the case if the client was hoping I would be able to understand something about them based on their art. It seems like maybe that's what you were hoping for?

If so, I guess the best analogy I can think of is that art is a language and some people can't understand a word. That's not a commentary on the language, it just means it can't be used to communicate.

I am the same way with poetry. I am an avid reader but not of poetry. I only like some poetry, most of it doesn’t resonate with me. I’ve met people who wrote poetry and felt compelled to show me or worse: read it to me aloud. I thought it was very bad or at the very least annoying but I had to politely nod. Perhaps it was actually great poetry but I just didn’t understand it. I remained polite, but that’s all I could do. I didn’t have much to say

I am an artist and have artistic training and I of course appreciate art. I don’t enjoy every single piece of art though (unless done by a young child)

I never know how to relate to stuff like that when people show it to me. Visual art is not all that interesting to me as an idea. I like some pictures - I don't like others and I don't really care much more than that. I have an artistic friend and I like going to museums with her because she can point things out I would not have noticed, but I prefer not to have to look at and comment on her paintings. I dread poetry even more. I don't think most therapists know what to say or do. The second woman I saw was an artist and a part time therapist. I thought her artistic endeavors were odd but people buy her stuff so I assume she has some talent. She did art therapy with those who wanted it.

Thanks everyone. I might just be projecting myself on to him...so if I like some art or poetry I get quite excited about it and feel something (sometimes I eat it but that's a different story) so if I show him something and he doesn't feel anything or say much, I just feel like he doesnt like it. I know he won't say he doesn't like it to my face, then it leaves us in a strange in-between nothingness place which I'm not comfortable with. It also makes it much less likely for me to show him any art stuff again.

Saying that, I have a friend who shows me his poems all the time...I have no idea what they mean and they definitely do not speak to me in any way or make me feel anything, but still he keeps sending them.