[Mountaindewed]

Last year a couple weeks after thanksgiving I was forced into an IOP program by my therapist because I was messing with my meds and also displaying ED behaviors. It was a long 4 weeks and I had no support from my therapist. She wouldn’t work with me until I completed the program. I had a case manager who was ok. I just felt so alone and since it was at Christmas time it was even worse and I felt just lost without any 1 on 1 support.

I still think about this nonstop 6 months later. I just think of how alone I felt and it freaks me out and depresses me. I know it’s not even July but I am thinking nonstop about how to make this coming Christmas better. I mentioned this to my last therapist and I asked if she worked during Christmas time because of how freaked out last year made me feel. It will be one of the first things I talk about with my next therapist.

I just feel like I was messed up and a bit traumatized by the whole incident. I know it was my fault and I did learn stuff from the IOP. So I do feel like I benefited from it. But I just can’t seem to get over this.

Does anyone have any suggestions?

[ScarletPimpernel]

I'm sorry that happened to you during that time of year!

How to get over it? Time will make it less intense. Forgiving yourself. Remember the facts: you were struggling and needed the help. Honoring your feelings. And making plans to enjoy this years holidays.

[Mountaindewed]

I didn’t go into detail today. I actually forgot until the end and then I asked if she worked during Christmas time. She asked if I had a bad one last year and I said yeah. She said she’ll fit me in at that time. Next session I’ll go into more detail about it. Although it’s not bothering me as much as it even did this morning.

I did briefly mention the IOP but again I didn’t explain why I was there. The ED question didn’t come up at all despite other unusual questions being asked.