Couch 231: Live Long and Prosper!

It might ultimately save you a lot of emotional turmoil just to break this lease and find a new place to live

I’ve considered that. The issue is that it’s a huge hassle to move (and to find a new place), both moving and breaking the lease are expensive, and given my budget I worry that any other apartment I find will also be poorly managed and may have a number of the same issues. If I could be sure that a new place would be moderately well-managed, I would strongly consider breaking the lease, but this kind of crap is the sort of thing that I only seem to find out after living in a place for a few weeks. (If anyone has any tips on how to avoid finding oneself in this situation, I’m all ears!)

I’m only here for another 10 months so I think I’m just going to stick it out.

I wouldn't jump the gun. Generally, like Scarlett mentioned, it's checking air filters, alarms, pets, etc. They may just be making the rounds on some random schedule that feels like it means something but is most likely completely coincidental.

I'm looking into a PHP or IOP. There's one that is kind of far away, like maybe 2 hours away but they do treat self harm. They do not treat schizoaffective but they do treat depression. IDK. They're going to see what my insurance covers. Then I'll have to see if I can miss that much work. Oy.

Sigh, yeah, I know you’re probably right.

It just annoying that they have time to do the stuff that matters to them (inspecting my apartment) but not time to do the stuff that matters to me (fixing the stupid alarm).

The inexperienced tend to do things by the book.

What is the stupid alarm is being triggered by a bad sensor in someone's apartment?

The secretary in the apartment’s office told me a few weeks ago it had something to do with the phone line connected to the fire panel box, but honestly she’s brand-new and doesn’t seem to know her butt from her elbow, so who knows if that’s correct or not.

3 more days and a wake-up til we find out the results of h's 2nd liver scan. I'm doing my best to stay positive, working overtime is helping distract me, but I started gnawing at my fingernails this afternoon.


I distracted myself further yesterday by going and getting my hair cut after I got off work. I had her clean up the layers and take another couple inches off the length. I really like it a lot.


I think I'll go swim this afternoon. H isn't home yet anyway. Later couch!

Comirnaty is the best vaccine brand name they could come up with? I feel like a monkey picking Scrabble tiles at random could have done better than that.

Apparently it’s covid + mRNA + immunity. Still dumb even after I know that.

At this stage I inagine everyone will just call it Pfizer.

Hahaha the plot thickens -- I came home to find that each apartment door has a sign taped to it saying that smoking is not allowed on the premises. I wonder if folks have been smoking and that's been setting off the alarm... though if that's the case, shouldn't the fire department be coming to check things out? Huh.

That's a good point. I'll see how it goes. He kept saying I'm doing "a lot better" (based on notes in the EHR I suppose?), so I guess I looked better. Probably also because he asked if I'm working now and I said odd jobs (though I've been doing that for longer.)

But that's my coping persona for a new medical person, it's automatic. Didn't tell him that because I'm hoping I won't see him at my review in 4 weeks.

It's strange to see psychiatrists so regularly - gap between reviews has been mostly been 3 weeks, 4 weeks, one 12 weeks. I'm used to 4 months to 6 months with my former psychiatrist, but I've new diagnoses since then.

I feel like my regular psychiatrist is pretty solid. Very collaborative for an MD. She's super booked though.

What should my dangerously depressed BIL do while he waits for his new meds to kick in?

I've suggested coffee, chocolate and watching comedy in TV.

Reading? Smartphone games? Walking outdoors (if safe)?

Got to keep an eye on him as his meds kick in too, because sometimes energy returns before SI is gone.

Good point.

P.S. He walks each day.

Stumbled upon a trauma-related topic during 7am session and I had to go right to work and now I’m here at work and my body is buzzing and I just want to go home.

It is my final semester of grad school. One class and my final project. I as super excited about it last week, but this week I am so tired, I just don't wanna and I am tired of Zoom. I think this covid resurgence has dumped a bunch of burnout into my brain. I woke with a mild infection (I suspect) where I bit my cheek last week. It's all swollen and so is my jaw, so that's probably not helping. But still. I am having a hard time getting myself going today. Bleah. I think I'll sit here and feel good and sorry for myself for a few minutes then get moving.

Hugs all around to those who want them.

Hugs to all who need/want!


H got a call from work at 4 am (!) with a job to Henderson, NV. I just happened to be awake so I heard the phone before he did and went and answered it. He left at about 4:35 so since I was awake anyway, I took a quick shower, got dressed and logged onto work at 5am since we're doing overtime. I had volunteered to take calls from 6-8 so was in 'ready' status for almost an hour (not getting any calls) before I figured out that I had misunderstood the log in instructions we were given (they just changed today). Oops! So I logged out and back in correctly and then took back to back calls from about 5:50am-8am. It was nice though that first almost full hour of just getting caught up on my work emails and not getting any calls.


I'm at lunch now, guess I oughta go find something to eat.

I'm trying to see if this IOP will work for me. It's a place that does treat SH as well as depression, anxiety, etc. I emailed them with my symptoms and general bio and asked if they had a program that could help me. Their in person program is over two hours away but they have a virtual one. It starts at 3 and I don't get off work until 330 but I could talk to my boss, especially if it is for a finite amount of time she would probably let me leave early. I'm hourly anyway so they would be saving payroll. But now my case has been transferred to the virtual person and I am waiting to hear about my insurance and how many days a week it is and from 3 PM to what time and how many weeks it is. All good questions I think. I also want to know if the classes are just basic crap or if it is specific to my issues because I don't need basic crap. I got that IP. So I am waiting to hear back. I'm nervous and I'm hopeful, and I am dreadfully anxious.

Pretty soon we'll be able to call you Mistress WFS.

(Unless it's a doctorate, in which case we will call you Doctoress.)

4 minutes left of my day which is not enough time to get another message assigned to me and process it. So I was just looking around my office. This room is a mess!! I must spend some time straightening things up as soon as I log off. I have stuff all over everywhere. Not surprising since I spend 8+ hours a day in here! H called a little bit ago he will be home in probably 2 hours.

I am taking a creative writing course on contemporary fairytales this semester. We have to write two short stories, one a revision of a classic fairytale and the second one open in topic.

Being me, I’m going to revise a first-edition-only Grimm tale,

The Grimms were aptly named

With every edition they published, the tales got more sanitized.

The original Cinderella was basically a horror story. (ETA: although in it Cinderella is pretty badass, instead of just passive.)