[Amandae8787]

My T got emotional in session yesterday. I normally look away a lot but meet her eyes every now and then. She said ”I understand Amanda that it’s hard to be vunerable, I really do” and when I looked at her she looked different. Her eyes were tearful and she really looked like she was about to cry. I looked away for a moment, I don’t even remembered what I said, if I said anything. Before she said that, I said that she always leave me, I said I was angry at her. But I mean… I know now that I’m not really angry at HER. I just don’t like the situation, it’s so hard because I’m attached to her and it hurts. It reminds me of my mom and how she always abandoned me.

Now I feel a bit torn. She always say that I can bring all my feelings in the room. But… I don’t know anymore. She should know that I’m not really angry at her. It’s just feelings from the past. I don’t know if I should say anything about it. Before I left, she asked if she could give me a hug. It was the first time. I said yes and she did, and told me that she is there for me. So I guess I shouldn’t worry, but I do… I don’t know why. Maybe because I don’t want to hurt her… and I want her to understand that I’m not mad at her, that she’s actually never let me down. But she knows this! I’ve told her. I just feel guilty I guess and at the same time, what if it had nothing to do with me? Or what if it did, what if she cares too much.

Have anyone else got a T who got really emotional and how did you feel about it? Did you address it later?

[velcro003]

Oh man, my T once told me that she felt like crying because of something I told her, and I was all like "NO YOU DON'T!" Haha, I don't react to crying very well, especially as I have never cried in the 6 years I've seen her. If she became emotional during session, I'd probably just ignore it unless she wanted to talk about it or something.

I think if it still bothers you by next session, you should tell her this. I think if she is a good T, she will understand that you are angry, but not at her. It seems like she understood that as she gave you a hug as you left!

[Waterbear]

My now ex T teared up on a couple of occasions I think. Not that I would really know as I never used to make eye contact. I could probably count on my fingers and feet how many times our eyes met in 5 years, but every now and again she would say "I'm sorry, I just need a second". I can't imagine you upset her, as such, just that she felt emotional. Probably not upset tears, if that makes sense. I don't really fully get feelings, so maybe just ignore me, but I think sometimes people can be touched and get tears in their eyes. It sounds like that, to me. Like maybe she was seeing your pain and being empathic with that.
It meant a lot to me that I touched my T, so it wasn't an issue for me. That she cared meant a lot to me.

[Bill3]

So I guess I shouldn't worry but I do...I don’t know why. Maybe because I don’t want to hurt her…

This could be a problem if you were to avoid topics that you need to speak about for fear of hurting her. If this is a possibility I urge you to discuss your fear of hurting her, and the crying incident, with her.

She cries frequently as a response to what I am talking about or because of her feelings for me. She's a lunatic though so I take it with a pinch of salt.

[Amandae8787]

I’ll probably talk to her about it when I see her in two weeks. Maybe. I really don’t think that she was upset because I hurt her, not when I think about it. Even if I WAS angry at her, she should be able to handle it. But I would like to know why she was emotional at that moment, because I normally never express anger at anyone, so it made me a bit confused. Am I not allowed? That doesn’t make sense. She always tell me that she want me to express my feelings and I’m having trouble doing so. So she should be happy about it, that I find her and our relationship safe enough. Well, thank you all for answering.

[Waterbear]

Maybe they were happy tears?

[Amandae8787]

Originally Posted by Waterbear

Maybe they were happy tears?

I don’t think so, it wasn’t like only tearful eyes, she really looked sad. Probably because… I don’t know, because I was struggling so much? I was ok at first and then the feeling of anger just came to me from nowhere. I can’t explain to myself why I felt angry with her at that moment. I just felt like she makes me feel all this pain and sadness and then she see someone else the next hour… I feel like she is so important to me but I’m not special to her. I’m just a client among others. I hate it! But that’s the reality of therapy…

[Ambra]

It has happened to me - even though the circumstances are different. Once I read to my ex T something I had written about my grandmother, whom I’m really fond of. Then I looked at her and she had tears down her face.. She then explained that her own beloved grandmother had just passed away, and she was touched in a positive way by my letter. Long story short, we talked, she assured it was ok, I was comfortable again. Also, we were at the end of therapy plus I’m very easy going about Ts being human and she had disclosed something about her personal life with time (for therapy purpose).
Anyway, I find that these Ts have empathy, which may feel weird to us but is a sign of kindness and being truly invested in your client, at least imo. From what you said, she was really listening and feeling you. Connected and willing to see you feel better.
Talk to her again about it if needed, one day it will be easier.