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#1
Jan 24, 2008, 07:58 PM
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T sucks.
she doen't have anything to offer when I call and i'm in crisis. blah blah blah. ... stop!!! Offer me some comfort dammit! Help me calm down and stop crying. Talk about what I'm feeling and quit saying the same thing "It must be hard" "It sounds hard for you" I know she hates it when I call crying. I can hear the repulsion in her voice. Where's the sweet voice she has other times? Where's the voice that feels warm and makes me feel soothed? i am so mad at her! i am so hurt! I feel like I'm all alone even with a T. So what good is she to me? |
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#2
Jan 24, 2008, 08:19 PM
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(((echoes)))) my heart is breaking after reading that. i know what you mean. you called T reaching out expecting to hear that soothing voice . that comfort you've had before and so despritley need right now. and as the phone call continues and you don't get it, you want it even more. then the call ends. you hang up. and your alone again. but not the same kind of alone you were before you called T. No. Even worse. And you realize you reaching out just made you feel more alone. And you long that comfort even more. and you don't know what to do, and all there is to do is wait. until the time to see T again. but by then, most likely you won't need the comfort to the same degree. it's so hard, i know. The only thing i could suggest is writing to her right now. Explain how the call let you down, explain what you needed and what you got. (or didn't get) and then either send the email or print it out and give it to her next time. feel better echoes, it will be ok.
__________________
"...and everything is going to be okay." Poem from T. |
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#3
Jan 24, 2008, 09:22 PM
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</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
Where's the sweet voice she has other times? Where's the voice that feels warm and makes me feel soothed? </div></font></blockquote><font class="post"> (((((((Echoes)))))))) I don't know what it is, but T's just think they can jump between the voice we love and the voice that tells us we have to be grown up. Screw that!!!!! I bet she's there for you though: </font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font> I feel like I'm all alone even with a T. So what good is she to me? </div></font></blockquote><font class="post"> Well, you can be alone together and it's better than being alone all by yourself? (hugs) xoxoxoxooxoxoxoxox Peace 
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#4
Jan 24, 2008, 09:58 PM
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</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
sister said: </font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font> I don't know what it is, but T's just think they can jump between the voice we love and the voice that tells us we have to be grown up. Screw that!!!!! </div></font></blockquote><font class="post"> very interesting, sister. I agree. Do they even realize they are doing it? I feel like asking T about this now. oh well, add it to the list of unresolved feelings regarding T and my relationship...
__________________
"...and everything is going to be okay." Poem from T. |
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#5
Jan 25, 2008, 04:22 AM
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Sending you hugs and comfort, I'm so sorry you're so hurt
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#6
Jan 25, 2008, 12:33 PM
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{{Echoes}} Those times are real painful when T's appear to not be there for us. I read somewhere that a third of the time of being good enought is all thats needed and all thats possible. I hated reading that, but I guess its pretty truthful. I think it will help if you remember to tell T just how let down you felt during the phone call, it can be fixed! Take care!
__________________
Here is the test to find whether your mission on earth is finished. If you're alive, it isn't. ~Richard Bach |
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#7
Jan 25, 2008, 12:40 PM
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  {{{Echoes}}}
__________________
"Never give a sword to a man who can't dance." ~Confucius |
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#8
Jan 25, 2008, 02:09 PM
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(((((((((((((Echoes))))))))))))))
Maybe you can tell her how hurt you feel. How unsupported. We care!!! *hugs* |
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#9
Jan 25, 2008, 03:09 PM
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</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
Mouse_ said: I read somewhere that a third of the time of being good enought is all thats needed </div></font></blockquote><font class="post">Yes, I've heard that too. I think it is from Winnicott. A "good enough" mother or therapist need connect only 1/3 of the time. Another 1/3 can be rupture and repair. The remaining 1/3 can be rupture and not repaired. And that is good enough! My T told me that when we were in the middle of a big rupture/repair to reassure me that it was very normal to have that in a relationship. So whenever T and I don't connect, I remember that it is OK, we need only connect right off 1/3 of the time for it to be a "good enough" relationship. I hope you are feeling better today, ECHOES.
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"Therapists are experts at developing therapeutic relationships." |
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