Couch 232: Not Sully!

Well, that's ridiculous . Much better to have a colleague who is presumably not an expert in the subject matter of the class serve as a substitute and teach in person rather than...gasp!... use the Zoom that they told us was the greatest thing since sliced bread for the past twelve months.

Makes as much sense as anything else in academia?

I hope it's just a cold.

Sent from my SM-G998U using Tapatalk

That all sounds so stressful, NP, I'm sorry. Hugs if wanted. For the jury duty, when I've been, if you actually make it to the selection stage, they go through a part where the lawyers ask questions of the audience. One being if you've been a victim of a crime, another if you've been accused of a crime. Then you can go up an tell the judge/attorneys (quietly), the nature of the crime.

So if it does hit close to home, I don't think you' need to be that specific about the crime, but I doubt the defendant's attorney would want you on the jury, so you'd be dismissed.

Thanks, been on those for many years. This is just something new at least for me.

I had a very similar conversation with my T yesterday! My T said that we have a long history of caring for each other even though I felt bad right at that moment and that she doesn't want me to go away. My attachment stuff was all activated as she said this so I didn't really believe her, but it was nice to hear anyway. It actually sounds from your Dear T posts like you're on the cusp of big things with her, so she's probably intrigued to hear more about what you want to tell her.

Thyroid nodules are usually benign and even if they're not, they grow extremely slowly. My wife has a wonky thyroid and recently had to get a needle biopsy to verify that her nodules are benign, which was a little unpleasant but outpatient and quick. I think most nodules can be monitored with regular ultrasounds, though.

I had referenced the Steven Spielberg movie E.T. in session a couple of weeks ago to explain something and then promptly forgot about it. Yesterday my T said, "So do you want to talk about the E.T. thing?" I thought she meant "erotic transference" and I was like, "Um. What? No, thank you." She was pretty confused at my flat refusal until I told her what I thought she meant. Apparently she had never heard it called that, although she is well-versed in the phenomenon. We did talk about the other E.T. thing, and I was relieved to not have to tell her that I'm not attracted to her.

For some reason I feel like you would appreciate this moment of amusing awkwardness, LT.

Haha....that's the ultimate lesson in being careful about abbreviations.

Haha, you're right EM--it made me laugh! I could completely see this as something happening in one of my sessions. Glad you got it straightened out! I wonder if it's mostly just "ET" on this forum or if that abbreviation is used elsewhere?

Hope you feel better soon and that it isn't the other thing. It is dumb that you can't teach via Zoom during that time, if needed...

Also, randomly, you were at a party in my dream last night (well, not sure if "party" is the right term--small gathering). I don't remember the details (aside from there being a really strange beer selection).

So covid has become voldemort?

Thank you. When I read about the biopsy thing last night, it made me worry a little but then I also read that same thing, that they are mostly benign and that the older you are, the more chance they are benign, so at going on 60 that made me feel better too. Plus, my dr saying it can wait until my December appt to talk about, seems there's no urgency to it. I just have to get another ultrasound in a year. I guess it was just something I wasn't expecting, and all...

I was trying to be funny and dismissive of it as a possibility. (Because, of course, it isn’t/wouldn’t be funny at all.)

I hope we were all masked and socially distanced in your dream in proper accordance with CDC regulations, LT, and that some of the beer was gluten-free.

Apparently.

I don't think we were properly following Covid protocols. Not sure on the beer, but I know there was wine!

Did someone mention wine?

Therapy today with Individual IOP T. I don't feel in crisis so as usual, when I am not in crisis, I have no idea what I am going to talk about. I could bring up what we talked about in the grief class last week because she taught that class and she seemed to think it was important to bring up with my individual T (her). I think she said it that way so she wouldn't reveal to the group that I was her client. Ha. Client confidentiality and all is a little funny sometimes. I'm not sure when my IOP is ending. Tomorrow is 30 days. They said if you make 30 days you get to go into aftercare but I don't know if IOP can go longer than 30 days if your insurance pays for it. My case manager hasn't really been in contact so I am just going with the flow but it makes me anxious. I really hope that individual T will agree to see me after we are done with IOP. She's so much better than Dr. K. I hate her sometimes but that's because she pushes me. I love her other times. I have no feelings whatsoever for Dr. K. It's like talking to wallpaper paste with him. No feedback. I just talk and then he nods and usually agrees with me. It's very frustrating. I have 4 hours to figure out what to talk about. Last week I had a list. But today no list at least not yet. I'm trying to think about what is important to bring up. It's just so hard.

Only in LT's dream. Were you there? They're *very* exclusive.

I finally realized what's causing the major stress about jury duty. It's the courthouse. This place is very much associated with the fire for me. Testifying for the grand jury, seeing him in shackles at his first hearing, getting the first restraining order, his sentencing all happened at the courthouse.

HUGS @NP_Complete that sounds so traumatic. I'm sorry that you are having to deal with it.

Hugs, NP. It makes complete sense that you'd be triggered by that.

I couldn't get past the door staff.

The long version of the story is that she said, "What's E.T.?" And I said, "Erotic transference." And she said, "What's 'erotic transference'?" And then I had another moment of panic that I would have to explain the therapeutic birds and the bees to my therapist, so I said, "Um, romantic feelings toward your therapist...?" And she said, "Oh! I've just never heard it called that before!" And I told her she should spend more time in therapy forums. Then she said when she was in training with a CBT-focused supervisor, she told him that she thought one of her clients was attracted to her, and he said, "Well, you're relational. You should like that!" And she was apparently like, "Oh. Um. Yes, of course..."

Incidents like this only confirm my impression that therapists and clients are two peoples divided by a common language.

I'm taking Wednesday off of work as a mental health day but I am using paid time off to do so. I took another mental health day two weeks ago (also using paid time off). I told my parents last night that I am taking tomorrow off and they were like, "Are you sure that's wise?" and "Don't act like you can't do it!" Well I'm not acting. Right now I feel on the edge of burnout between work and IOP. IOP is a non-negotiable so I need to take time off of work. And I have the paid time off to do so and I got it approved. So I don't know what got into my parents. They used to send us to school sick because "You have to show up for work sick in the real world." Now all of that has changed. My Mom used to kill herself at work and for what? No gain. I know work is important and I'll still have 8 days PTO accrued that I can use even after tomorrow so it's not like I'm using my last day or anything. I just really feel like I need a break. But my parents made me feel bad for taking one. I really feel like I need a week off but I didn't want to use all my time.

I wanted to say to my parents, it's either this or the hospital, you're choice.....but I didn't want to upset them, even though they upset me!