Couch 232: Not Sully!

In the U.S., they have gone completely opposite in terms of opiate pain medications and it is really awful now, the way they treat people who have legitimate chronic pain. They are forced to attend specialized pain clinics, have their pills counted, come in for random and routine urine screens as if they were on methadone, etc

And that's IF they can even get a referral to such a clinic in the first place. Physicians and pharmaceutical companies created the opioid epidemic, and the people suffered. Now they are trying, they say, to fix it...and the people suffer.

In terms of benzos, if I wanted some, I would have to change my PCP or psychiatrist, negate neither will prescribe them. I only want a few for travel, and the answer is still No. I have not asked my neurologist, but I suspect her answer would be No as well. So...access varies here.

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Sorry to hear that you're having difficulties, QM. It is exhausting, isn't it? Other people, the entire world really, don't realize how much energy it takes and how really incredible it is that you're still showing up!

I've been through periods with extremely bad depression and flare-ups of an autoimmune disease, and it was a miracle I could function. And I have a job where I don't have to be "on" for 8 hours a day, every day; and I don't have a partner or children to care for or put on a good face for.

Please realize it will ease up at some point, hopefully soon. Maybe it won't go away completely, but it will ease up.

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I saw him speak, at a regional mensa dinner in nyc in the 80's. Wasnt he a character?!

Nope, gave that up 10 yrs ago with my mom.
I musta got confused / excited when she mentioned her me-ness.

Eta - Coined in 1970? I graduated high school in 1970

Awkward therapy things: When you end up in an ongoing email (at times text--initiated by him) exchange with your T because the invoices he sent keep not including the attachment (I need the attachment to get partial insurance reimbursement). It's not generally an issue, so maybe there's something strange going on with his invoicing program?


But it's just sort of weird because today's a difficult anniversary for me, so I do kinda wish I was able to communicate with him today--but not so much about bookkeeping items!

Interesting dream last night: I somehow accidentally time-travel to a rather bleak/dystopian future, where I learn that I have this ability to 'play' crystals (that other people are very afraid of so I can't tell anyone) and to get back to my own time, I have to find a specific light-blue crystal (blue topaz maybe?) with symbols on it and play it. I find the crystal but it's in a museum submersed in water, and I have to figure out how I am going to get to it to play it.

Oh that is interesting.

I just got the news that my Aunt's sister passed away from covid this morning (from what I understand she was not vaccinated). She had been in the hospital for a couple of weeks and was on a ventilator the last couple days. I'd never met her, but I am sad for her family and my Aunt who is probably the sweetest, most caring person I know.

Sorry to hear of the slip up, LT. When is your next session?

I talked to my case manager yesterday. He got me 15 more days approved. I'm kind of glad that he did but on the other hand I am kind of exhausted from IOP and work. The good thing is I can see my individual therapist on Friday then twice next week, then she is on vacation. She hasn't said yet if she will see me once IOP is over. I hope she will. I made a plea for my case in an email yesterday. She's a good therapist and I think I could learn a lot from her. I took yesterday off of work but it wasn't enough. Plus my Mom made me do laundry and change my sheets and stuff. All I wanted to do was zone out in front of the TV. I went to Church last night too. I probably should have skipped because I could have gotten more rest. I woke up with a sore throat yesterday which seems to go away during the day so I think it's drainage, and a runny nose. I am getting a Covid test on Saturday to rule that out. I hope that's not it.

Hugs, Kit. I hope you feel better quickly and that it's not covid.

Appointment with new therapist in a couple hours.

It's been so long since I tried a new therapist, it feels like Christmas morning. In a dangerous way.

Thanks, Lost. Next session is tomorrow, which I know is soon.


How are you doing?

L and I had a good session today. We cleared up a lot. Basically, mine and her relationship will stay the same no matter what my financial situation is. We might have to reduce fees and maybe sessions, but she'll remain my active therapist until I decide otherwise. I feel a whole lot better. We still have a few more things, but generally, things are really good! I really have to stop doubting my relationship with L. She's never really done me wrong, and the few times she's messed up, she's owned up to it. I need to just relax, trust her, and just be.

This might sound totally off, but I really think I need to somehow convince H for a divorce... I would be able to get disability again which would really help. That alone could pay for my therapy. Either that or he really needs a better paying job.

I'm glad you have a fairly imminent session, LT.

Umph. My report consists of the following:

1. Therapists are weird.
2. No cleavage in sight.
3. I nearly walked out on her five minutes in when I had to ask her to speak up and she made a face, looked impatient, and may have rolled her eyes. Strike two.
4. I don't like therapy where I'm sitting on a couch and she's sitting behind a desk. My office is arranged so students aren't across a desk from me, exactly to avoid that sense of authority imposed on one.
5. She's blunt; I don't mind that. I do mind that her bluntness consists of "So what are you going to do about it?"
6. She's got weird end-of-session rituals. Like "Is there anything else you need from me?" "Is there any way in which I didn't understand you?" And ugh, a handshake.
7. I got to hear about her anxiety disorder. Little too much sharing overall.

Still, she was more useful on this subject than Info, so I made another appointment.

Over/under on when I fire her?

Oh, I'd be bothered by the desk thing. And definitely the reaction when you asked her to speak up. Did she actually speak louder after that?


For the end part, I imagine you could say you don't want to do the handshake? (Dr. T said early on how it's up to the client's preference when I asked him about it, for example.) And maybe you could opt out of the other session-ending stuff, too? Even just say "I'm all set" or however you'd want to phrase it. I had a p-doc who asked a long series of ending questions.


The oversharing is a bit concerning and makes me think of ex-MC (who also has an anxiety disorder and shared about it very early on).

Firing over/under: Hm...that's hard to say, as you've been rather tolerant of Info.

That's a dealbreaker right there. ;-)

"I'm going to talk about it with my therapist."

Ooh, how could I forget No. 8?

8. Talk about non-performing hair.

And 9–I think this might have been the oddest thing:

9. On the front of her desk she had one of those signs businesses post indicating which credit cards they accept. With the Mastercard and Visa logos right there in my view during session.

I also realized when I arrived her office is right next door to my divorce lawyer, and today would be our 8th wedding anniversary. And I’m so happy it’s not.

Fee splitting opportunity!

T: "You're in an abusive relationship. You need a divorce. Go next door."
Divorce Lawyer: "Divorce is tough. You need therapy. Go next door."

P.S. They should add a plastic surgeon and an astrologer to their practice.

Desk, credit card logos (seriously?!?!), giving you attitude about speaking louder (am I remembering correctly that you're seeing her for hearing impairment issues?).

I'm going to be generous since you said she was helpful around one issue and give her 4 sessions.

I could handle the desk. The handshaking is a no-go for me and I would have refused (as I did with the first woman). The credit card thing -well at least she isn't trying to pretend it isn't about money. I don't really notice cleavage much on anyone so I am neutral on that.

Out of all the therapists people talk about, info is one of the few I find reasonably innocuous in theory.

I told some clients, usually family law which I did not do much of, that paying a therapist to whine about their soon to be ex spouse would be a lot cheaper than paying me to listen to it, but if they wanted to pay my hourly rate -have at it. That usually stopped me from having to hear about it.

In the US - most states, if not all, don't let a lawyer split fees with non-lawyers. So you could all rent space from one place -but you could not all be in a partnership together

Yes, it’s about hearing. If it happens again I’ll ask her if she knows what it looks like when she does it and why that’s a problem.

Innocuousness is probably why I stay with her. Not harmful, but not a lot of help, either.