[vulnerome]

I started therapy a few months ago because, well, that is what people do when their lives are going down the pan. Realised that I have nothing to say and nothing happens so I tried to get out of it.

Unfortunately I was forced to go back for 6 months, and I am now trying hard to engage with it, but I simply have nothing to say.

What should I do?

[Perna]

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Since then my boyfriend went a bit nuts and forced me to go back for 6 months.

As to what I want to gain.... I guess I want to get better at living life and to feel ok most of the time. I went to therapy because my psychiatrist suggested it and because that is what people do when they are struggling with things in their life.

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Talk about what it means to you to "get better at living life" or about the things you feel you are struggling with? Did you change therapists or are you still going to the psychodynamic one who wasn't quite what you wanted?

[vulnerome]

Ark, that was an old thread lol!

Still the psychodynamic one. I just end up twiddling my thumbs lol. Getting to a better life to me involves doing things and the only trouble I have is lack of energy, so there really isn't anything to talk about.

Poor woman must be so bored.

[Perna]

So talk about how frustrating it is to not be able to do the things you want (and what they are) because you lack the energy.

[vulnerome]

Maybe. Thanks Perna.

XX

[RACEKA]

This was a good post.

Perna, If you think of anything else that are just general please post them. Sometimes I just want to talk about something that is just general, not anything that gets me worked up.

Thanks.

[Perna]

Raceka, almost anything can be made "safe" and general in nature. Take one of your T's comments and discuss that; since it's not coming "from" you initially, it probably won't get you that worked up.

My T made a comment about my style in therapy, how it was like I was driving along the highway fine toward the destination and then I'd get scared and suddenly take the next exit I thought about that and did the mind's-eye thing, imagining I was a car (what kind would you be? :-) and what I saw and reported was that I acted more as if it was a cloverleaf exit, not a true exit exit, because I always circle around and come back to hard subjects, just in a bit after I've gotten control of my surprise and panic at the suddenness and degree of fear/anxiety.

This conversation about my "style" in therapy was very helpful to me but not at all upsetting and kind of fun. I suspect because the observation came from outside of myself. So take any subject that you are curious about, say from reading a book or that someone else has said to you, or comment from your T and talk about that a little bit. It will probably tell you things that aren't too personal or will be easy enough to "control"/guide so you don't go anywhere you aren't emotionally prepared to go at the time.

[RACEKA]

Ok thanks.

[MissCharlotte]

Can someone tell me how you could be forced into therapy?

Maybe that is the problem. I don't think i could say anything if I was forced to go.

[Mouse_]

I think thinking someone has that much power over you is another thing you could look at??

[Perna]

I believe vulner's boyfriend is paying for her therapy and badly wants her to go and she's trying to be "cooperative" to a point :-) Sometimes it can be easier to just go along with the program than spend energy fighting it? But, like you say, sister, one wouldn't be able to find much to say going because someone else wanted you to.

Courts send people to therapy all the time don't they? Dumb practice but they do it.

My pdoc has been pushing me to get back into therapy after being off for 5 years or so (I was doing well with my bipolar meds), but a year &amp; a half ago I had an OD so she has been pushing me to go back into therapy.

I went back to the therapist who had helped me when I was first dxed &amp; very depressed, but she kinda "fired" me saying I wasn't making any progress--still ruminating about the thing that caused the OD--can't seem to get past it.

So after about 6 mos. tried another therapist who about the 4th session announced that she thought meds were a "crutch" that were detrimental to therapy as they masked my emotions. Well, my pdoc says I need to stay on meds the rest of my life so I "fired" her.--wrote a letter. I couldn't see going to her with such a major issue that we disagreed on (in my network--that's why I picked her in the first place &amp; didn't go to who my pdoc recommended due to finances).

So I "interviewed" the next one in my network over the phone. I had questions written up regarding her methods of treatment (after I gave her a brief summary of my situation), how she feels about meds, how she handles insurance, what her "emergency" calls policy is, etc. So she "passed" &amp; I've seen her about 4 times.

I also don't know what to talk about now that the background stuff has been discussed. I know I have a lot of maladaptive behaviors, but I don't see how this therapy is going to help.

I guess I'm feeling fairly hopeless of getting over the feelings that caused the OD--been fighting to not do it again.--Suzy

Should have put a trigger on previous post since it mentioned OD. Sorry. Haven't been around for awhile & forgot. Please accept my apologies.--Suzy

[ECHOES]

You do have things to say. Talk about anything that comes to your mind and it will take off from there.

I do understand. I spent months sitting quietly with "nothing to say". In truth, I was unwilling to begin, I was censoring my thoughts and not letting them be spoken. I was afraid of judgement, afraid of sounding unintelligent, afraid of looking stupid, afraid of boring my therapist, thinking nothing I had to say was important, afraid ultimately of being rejected by the therapist. But that's me and what my 'nothing to say' was about.

Silence carries it's own message.

Go ahead and jump in. Sounds easy but I know it isn't necessaritly. But deciding to just go and talk about anything at all might help you as it did me.