Guess I'm terminated

Last session I had what was discussed was upsetting & there was never an official see you next week said. Next week's session was canceled d/t a doctor appt. I then didn't get an appointment reminder, so I went online to the client portal to double check and there wasn't one listed. There was also a mini blizzard coming and many businesses were shortening there hours early, so I didn't think much of it...
When clicking through I accidentally scheduled an appointment for the upcoming week after the storm. A few days ago while I was at work I had a missed call from T, no voicemail. After I get off work I notice she sent me an email, almost immediately after the call. The email was simply, I noticed you tried to schedule an appointment, here are some referrals, let me know if you need anything & good luck.

I tried calling, left a voicemail, and then responded to the email. When I emailed I told her I left a voicemail, was confused, am guessing it means T doesn't want to see me anymore. I wrote in the email I wish this could have been discussed in a session or by phone before receiving it & wish to discuss it further by phone. I just feel somethings are best discussed verbally to get the full intention.

T responded to my email late tonight instead of just waiting to call tomorrow. This annoys me because I specifically wrote I left a voicemail at the beginning of the email and the last line was I would prefer to discuss in person or a call. T wrote she tried to reach out prior to sending the "referral" email. There was 1 call immediately prior and no voicemail or email.

I don't consider 1 call, no voicemail and literally 15 min later an email with referrals "a few attempts". I'm also upset the "referral" (termination) email was not clear. It never said I'm terminating due to xyz; just simply I noticed you tried to schedule an appt, here's referrals, let me know if I can help.

I reread the paperwork it says termination for 3 late cancelation/missed appt, failure to schedule for 3 weeks without prior arrangements. There was probably an "at T discretion, but it clearly states efforts will be made for a session prior to termination. I'm not sure why I'm so upset since I never felt particularly connected and was thinking about quitting anyway.

So sorry this happened to you. I would be upset too!

Well that all sounds very unprofessional...it seems ironic that a therapist would terminate you without talking about it. The rules in the contract seem harsh. I would be really upset in your situation as well, even if I wasn't attached to them, as it's a kind of rejection from someone that should know better.

It seems particularly odd they would do that after you had an upsetting session. They clearly aren't the therapist you need, I'm sorry that treated you this way.

I’m so sorry this went down like this. Even if your therapist doesn’t think they can help you, they are at the very least obligated to explain this to you and help you transition—not just drop you altogether. That sounds pretty unethical.

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I'm sorry this happened to you and agree that she owed you some sort of explanation. At the bare minimum, she owed you an email or mailed letter stating the reason for termination. But she should have talked to you and explained. You shouldn't have found out by not getting an appointment reminder then being unable to schedule a session. Especially after you had an upsetting session. You deserve better.


She sounds very rigid in her policies and not particularly caring. I hope you can find someone who is a better fit for you.

That is a major failure with regards to their duty of care towards you. They *owe* you a session to clarify - explicitly - and verbally, that they are terminating you and why THEN referrals. Not a one-sided: 'here are referrals, bye'.

You have ethical grounds to complain about this.

That's one thing would have been nice to get a I know you were upset about coming to therapy, I just wanted to see if you wanted to continue. Several years ago this happened with old T, upsetting session, & she simply emailed a couple weeks later asking what I wanted to do.

In my opinion her policy doesn't seem that rigid or harsh, but I read the policy again after the email & it said efforts would be made for a session prior to termination. A phone call without a voicemail & 20 minutes to respond is not what I consider efforts. She responded to my email instead of voicemail or calling me like I asked. Now, after I brought it up to her, she is asking about setting up a phone call/visit "to chat". Honestly I don't know if I want to waste my time & energy or if it would be productive or just get more frustrated.

This is exactly how I feel. Even if I was upset & not sure how long I wanted to continue therapy.
The weird thing was the email with referrals started of by saying I see you attempted to schedule online. In my opinion if whatever I did was so horrible to be terminated I still should have had a warning/explanation before/with referrals.

T replied to my email, instead of calling me offering to chat in person or on the phone. Honestly I'm not sure if it would be helpful or productive or just a waste of time & make be more upset.

How would I complain? T is completely independent practice.

I would contact her regulatory / licensing body.

PS: Also, having upsetting sessions and/or difficult emotions in session are part and parcel of therapeutic work. That is *no* reason for termination.

Re her policy "efforts would be made" - what does that even mean?! Vague, ambiguous, blanket statement to cover her incompetence for sure. She kept herself 'safe' by using such vague wording to cover her butt if anything were to happen. Even THAT she ought to have explained to you at intake (i.e. what she means by 'efforts would be made').

Is she a new therapist? Does she have a supervisor. This is ridiculous. I wonder if she even knows what she is doing or is simply that incompetent and unprofessional. Either way, it is not acceptable.

Ugh. So unprofessional and not OK. PLEASE take the time to find someone who will treat you better and with more respect… you deserve it!

My ex-T abandoned me... I wish she gave me a session to process it and try to understand it. She refused a session, and a phone call with T there. I tried writing. She would respond, but told me to have a professional contact her instead.

So my two cents is I would take the last session/phone call. Hopefully for a little closure. Unless you think it would do more harm?