Do therapists pay attention to what their clients wear?

I know when I would wear a lot of SpongeBob shirts in 2019 my therapist would comment on them. Yesterday in my session I was wearing a plain white tank top, basically just an undershirt, and I had on a black hoodie that was only zipped up halfway and the left side of the hoodie was falling down a bit. So my left shoulder was pretty visble. But nobody said anything. My T didn't even bat an eye. I was not trying to get anyones attention wearing that outfit was something I had been wanting to wear since I was 15 but couldn't until very recently.

So I was just wondering if therapists typically comment on the way clients dress. Has your therapist ever said anything to you about any of your clothes?

Yes they complimented my outfits before on few occasions. Like oh what a pretty scarf or something. I have a weakness for clothes so people often comment. I don’t wear anything extravagant or out of the ordinary though so I don’t care if people comment.

L has commented a few times. I like it when she does. It makes me feel special and paid attention to. I'm very self-conscious and uncomfortable in my skin. L complimenting me just makes me feel more confident.

Now my PCP compliments me pretty much every appointment. She knows I gravitate to black, so she makes a point when I wear color that she likes it. Again, it makes me feel good about myself.

Yes I got complimented on a scarf which my T said was my colour, I think it was a genuine compliment because it was a colour that suits me. I think it was part of the rapport building too.

I think a lot of people really like Spongebob so not surprised those tops got commented on.

Yes my T has commented that he liked my scarf/dress/coat etc. once I wore a band t shirt and he said ‘they are good band’ at the end of a session which totally confused me because I forgot I was wearing it!

My friend used to see my T for a while, he started therapy as he wasn’t happy being a virgin in his 30s. He wore a tshirt to therapy once with a picture of a naked woman on, I think T made a comment on that…but I guess that was less a compliment and more about his non sex life.

Wow, I'm surprised so many comments about clothes! I pretty much wear exactly the same clothes to my sessions every week, infact I pretty much wear the same clothes all the time in life! A pair of blue jeans and one of about two jumpers and the same coat!! I did have a conversation with Ex T once when I bought some new trainers, but it was me who initiated it because I liked them. I think we did talk about the fact that I rarely took my coat off in the beginning, I like it kept on because a) I can leave at any moment and b) I feel safer with it on. Been seeing this new T for about 4 months now and still have it on all session, every session. I was hot week before last because she had the heater on and I said "probably doesn't help I've got my coat on" and she replied "oh yes, so you have" like she hadn't even noticed, but yet she could have just been saying it to make it sound like she hadn't noticed... Anyway, long way of saying mine have never really paid any attention... Oh, except my first T, who quite bluntly made a statement about the past affecting my femininity because I don't really dress femininely at all. I was quite taken aback!

The only time she commented was when I came straight after an interview so my outfit was a pretty drastic deviation from my usual sweatpants or running shorts and hoodies and t-shirts. And she said something about not being able to wear heels.

I understand your outfit held special meaning to you. I think I'd personally find it odd if the therapist commented on an outfit that sounds pretty basic/normal if she doesn't know what it means to you. I also personally don't notice bared shoulders. It's not like you walked in bare-chested.

I've had some assessments my therapist has had to evaluate my ability to dress appropriately, usually for work.


But when he's not required to he obviously pays no attention as I wore my shirt inside out and backwards once this summer and he didn't say anything. I hope he would have told me if he noticed before I went to the store all messed up

My therapist definitely pays attention because she notices anything new that I wear, including a new pair of my very basic, boring favorite brand of shoes. I often wear fun t-shirts and she will also usually comment on the design if it's one she hasn't seen before.

Yes my therapist definitely noticed what I wore. As sometimes my mood matched how I looked (black baggy clothes when feeling rubbish, nice outfits when feeling well). She did make a point of commenting on my appearance but I think that was part of my therapy as my self esteem was so low and part of that was that I hated the way I looked.

I’m glad you felt able to wear the outfit you wanted, @Mountaindewed

I dunno if he notices, but he has never commented on it. I must say I would probably find it intrusive and am glad he doesn't.

Occasionally, particularly if what I was wearing was unusual for me for some reason, but not very often. I'm a fairly consistent dresser so not much to particularly comment on. I'm a teacher, so on occasion a session fell on one of our "dress up" days. LOL. That was always a bit humorous. And he definitely noticed when I showed up in my long black concert dress and pearls on my way to a performance. LOL. Otherwise I was probably pretty boring.

My therapist once told me I look like a schizophrenic. Really helped me to change my clothing habits.

What???? It’s rude and how is it even appropriate?

Now if you were dressed inappropriately for public then I could see how she could advice some changes (like if you wouldn’t wear pants, only shirt) but “like schizophrenic???”

How does a schizophrenic dress?!

I didn't know people could be diagnosed (as shchizophrenic no less) by the way they dress.

Your T really is something else. Does she even have the proper licence/quailfications to practise?

No.
She doesn't comment and I'm glad she doesn't. She might be noticing but refrains from commenting.

She once commented on my wright loss which had been sudden due to illness.
She explained that she usually wouldn't bring that up but she was concerned.
She said that she generally considered comments about body size as intrusive.

I don't think my T has ever brought up my clothes, but now and then I comment on them and that can lead to a conversation.

I wouldn't expect a T to say anything unless it's a cause for concern, like if you're wearing something really dirty maybe it's a sign you're not taking care of yourself.

One therapist made a comment on my new red boots years ago, about how it's nice to wear red stuff at the end of winter as it helps feel you more upbeat like spring is coming soon or something like that. My social worker regularly compliments me on my way of dressing, she's just nice like that. Another therapist also did that sometimes, in a way that always reminded me of my sister so again I liked it. Other therapists usually didn't comment on my clothing or appearance.

Mine does just s little. Sometimes she gives me compliments on an outfit i have on.

Yes my t always notices what I wear and comments on how I look. She often says my nails are pretty and that I am very attractive which is kind of strange!

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Mine will comment, though was more often when we were meeting in person because there was more of my outfit to see! He's noted when I've worn new shoes, like, "Oh, those are new shoes" (generally sneakers, like Keds or Skechers) or had a new purse. Once he said, "Wow, a denim jacket, I haven't seen one of those in a while!" It makes me feel seen and like he's paying attention.(It's never anything like "That shirt looks good on you," which might feel different because I'm a hetero female, and he's a hetero male--well, I suppose he could be bi, but he's married to a woman).

The one time it bothered me a bit was when I wore distressed jeans, and he said, "Things so bad you have holes in your jeans?" It actually kept me from wearing them again because I figured he'd make that comment again, and I didn't feel like hearing it. It was a style choice, not a comment on my mental state! This was a few years ago--if that happened now, I'd just say, "Hey, it annoyed me that you said that, please don't the next time I wear distressed jeans." I'm more direct now.

We actually had a conversation once on his commenting on my clothing. He said he is careful when he does that, that he wouldn't with certain clients as it could make them feel uncomfortable. And he pays attention to a client's reaction and wouldn't mention it again if it seemed to bother them.

I used to see one of my therapists on Saturday morning, so I’d be in like yoga pants and a tank top. So the one time I came in after work he was line, “wow you look so different!” Yeah I actually do put in effort!

Also grooming is something that can be affected by mental health symptoms so yes 100% they notice even if they don’t say anything

I was looking at my therapy notes recently and found t had written at the start of every session some observation. Sometimes it was random but often it was outfits and eye contact. I cannot explain why or how but I feel so observed and self conscious. I put myself together so people see the "perfect" outside and never question what's going g on. T knows this. I've spent years trying to convince myself it's ok to dress casually with t, that I can trust her. I guess it feels like maybe not.

Yes they notice sometimes and it doesn't always feel great.