How long does it take to build rapport with a T?

I see my new T Wednesday and I'm unsure if I should just tell her everything off the bat or wait a while. Even after being with my last therapist two years I was no more comfortable discussing whatever with her than the first session and it's been like that with all my prior therapists as well although I haven't stuck with anyone as long so waiting wouldn't help me but would it help her?

If I was starting with a new T, I think I may tell them everything asap just so it's out there. Then again maybe I wouldn't, it's a lot of stuff for a T to remember all at once. I guess you have to go with your instincts when you are in the room with them?

I shared pretty quickly with mine early on about some stuff. Definitely more quickly in general than with my first one. You also don't need to tell *everything*. I think for me, one of the benefits of having worked with a T before is that I'd already worked through some things a bit, and I knew some elements from my past and present that were more and less important.

In answer to the question of the post? As long as it takes, and it depends on you and them. It seems to take me forever. I still cannot look at my New T. I won't even turn round if I can help it, so at the moment all she sees is the back of my head! But we do seem to have some sort of a rapport that is keeping us going. Our sense of humour is a little similar at times.

I was with Ex T for 6 years and, like you, still didn't feel comfortable talking about things, so figured this was going to take forever. And it may - but I think that's more to do with the trauma than the rapport? I think? I'm not sure. It's all complicated isn't it.

I decided last week to write down the 'ground zero' and take that in. Little by little, piece of paper by piece of paper I showed her what it was that I think is the root cause of a lot of my stuff, so at least she knows. I guess it can only help in the long run for her to know, but see now I am more vulnerable to attack. Today she used words which are NOT ALLOWED still, and set me off into dissociation. But then, maybe that is a necessary evil here?

Good luck with it all, whether you decide to share or to wait a while. Take care of you.

It takes as long as it takes and it depends on the individual.

For me, I would not be able to reveal everything in session 1. I would need to build a level of trust before disclosing my deep wounds to a total stranger. But these are my comfort levels. Yours might be different.

I think this rapport thing is either naturally there pretty early on or isn't.

As for sharing things with a therapist where you just don't have the rapport in a natural way, I don't know. I'm thinking if you are able to see them as just a professional with whom you can talk about issues, and get help with finding your own journey in resolving them, and they do have the matching professional expertise for your issues then it can work.

I don't see it working at all if it's supposed to be like deep attachment and emotional dependence on the therapist with some really intimate and special connection with him/her where you can be totally vulnerable like with no one else to try and open up about your deepest feelings and issues and feel so totally perfectly safe about that. I don't think anymore that therapy has got anything to do with that kind of thing. Even if there is natural rapport.

It's got more to do with utilising the therapist's expertise and techniques in working with your feelings and psychological issues. Since the material is personal, emotional material, this is going to be tricky but it's best if you are not totally unconditionally exposed raw to the therapist. You have to keep a level of control for most of it, even if you have moments where you do open up so much and are raw and all that about it. You have to be able to keep the overall relationship in a container otherwise. And there just has to be a natural distance between you and the therapist with that.

That's just my opinion.